Hi Crispy-
please don't worry- I was way better in natural meno than I am now - but it wasn't straightforward and my recollection of things is admittedly hazy so I apologise for confusion- it was a confusing time!
I had the chemical meno in peri at the point where my hormones were see-sawing all over the place. I was taking hrt too- it was a horrible, jittery time. of course the chem meno stopped all my hormones and then I was given 2 pumps oestrogel add back to combat the depressive symptoms of this. I felt very low and the oestrogel didn't touch it. It was horrible but I knew it wouldn't last and gradually the zoladex wore off- thank god!!
Then it was back to the drawing board. I went on venlafaxine 225mg- fairly high I think and kind of loped along still in peri- never on top of my symptoms- massive periods, low ferritin, jittery- couldn't work or drive etc etc
Then I became naturally menopausal. I was barely using any oestrogel at that point so I must have found it difficult for some reason- I can't quite remember. But, I vividly remember feeling so low that in desperation I put on 2 pumps oestrogel and it was awesome- I felt fantastic. so that was just into menopause maybe a few months post last period.
from then I decided to get off the antidepressant which has proven no mean feat!! venlafaxine is a pig to get off and I've been coming off it, then swapped to prozac over the last 4 years or so!! still on smallish dose prozac but aiming to get off still.
so basically, I was taking oestrogel and although it wasnt as amazing as before, I could certainly tolerate it and of course everything has been massively muddied by coming off antidepressants- such a slow, painful process!
of course I had a womb at this point and needed to take progesterone. I absolutely hated that and used to take it once every three months 100mg a day just for a week- almost unbearable but it did the trick keeping womb lining thin.
I was very fed up of having the prog every 3 months it felt like it ruled my life. Now I would give anything to be in that situation!!
So I had my op thinking this will change my life for the better and it prob would have done if i'd just had womb out but obvs had ovaries out too!- a few weeks after the op my mood crashed massively, I couldnt tolerate my HRT and have hidden away desperately trying different hrt methods since!! I don't have any good days now- i long to feel normal- I wish I'd just had womb out or not bothered at all and am furious with the doctor.
sorry that's all a bit doom and gloom but you're honestly in a good position in that you have your ovaries intact, so you can maybe try the chem meno- hopefully with some support and see where you go from there. I don't mean to deter you from surgery- I'm just being fully upfront about my experience.
I'm going to order some dhea today- certainly I'll think about bhrt - I guess it's money and energy too!
just t be clear- I think there is a good chance that you'll feel way more settled in natural menopause especially if it's oestrogen that's your problem. I just wanted the icing on the cake by not having to take prog! I would 100% go back to how I felt in natural meno than how I feel now
even though it wasn't plain sailing but I was very early into it and, as I say, coming off anti-deps so it's all a bit messy.
I hope that gives some clarity- I'm not the best historian! I know that peri feels endless but it does end- whereas I guess once ovaries are out, they're out and that's it!! I'm sorry you're having to give up work- it becomes impossible, doesn't it? we're super-skint as a result but I couldn't have continued (realise I'm lucky that I was able to but gosh I'm embarrassed by how unproductive I am, how my kids must see me)
sounds like your gynae's a lot better than mine was- acknowledging that you may feel bad on the zoladex- seems like mine was strangely underinformed.
wishing you all the best- do you have people in your life you can lean on a wee bit?