Sara have you actually been to a Menopause consultant/specialist at your hospital? Sorry I may have missed if you said so. If you haven't, it sounds to me as if it's all guesswork. Again, forgive me if I've missed that you say you have.
If not, you really do need to see one. Prior to me getting on the right treatment my GP and gynaecologist diagnosed a variety of different conditions ( none of which I actually had) and you do tend to start reading online, as you have, and find there are a myriad of conditions with similar symptoms. You mentioned using a steroid cream and I used a number of different ones, obviously all prescribed by different specialists, for a number of years. I think they caused a lot of tissue damage and made everything very sensitive when I started using VA treatments.
But again all this is guesswork. You really need a dedicated specialist, not a gynaecologist, to get to the bottom of what you actually have. You can end up doing more harm than good, as I did, in the end.