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[Nas]

Yes the buns are a good source of therapy, that is for sure.

I want to motivate myself to shower and get dressed, but I can’t, I’m too upset. All I am doing is crying!

I don’t know how to manage this recent revelation, or my emotions which go with it. Brain is going into overdrive and the ability to think and live in the present, has gone!

[CLKD]

Could you contact the support Nurse to share your worries with?

[Penguin]

I second what CLKD had said. Or could you call one if the main helplines, Macmillan perhaps? Sometimes it helps stop the brain going round in loops to say it aloud and talk it through with another person, even if they can't advise or fix it and even if you end up repeating yourself.

When is your next appointment? It sounds like you need to talk to someone before then x

[SarahT]

I can only echo the above Nas. Was anyone with you at you appt who may have been able to absorb more info at the time and know of a professional to contact to speak with? This is too big for you to take in alone. If you are unable to seek the into yourself, can someone  in the home with you who can find the details for you?

[Penguin]

Nas, thinking of you today, just wanted you to know that. Did you find someone to call and talk things through? X

[Limpy]

Nas - As Penguin said yesterday, contacting the Macmillan helpline is a really good idea to talk things through.
My OH has bowel cancer and they were ever so helpful when he was deciding whether or not to have chemo in the beginning. They were always available whereas his support nurse could only be contacted by leaving a message. Yes she (or one of her colleagues) would get in touch, eventually but there was generally a wait.

[suzysunday]

Just adding my good thoughts to you as everyone is on here.  Love to you x

[Nas]

Thanks everyone.
A nurse phoned yesterday from the Christie, asking how I was generally. My prompt response was “ rubbish”! I then proceeded to bawl down the phone for ages.

The shock has been overwhelming to say the least.  The uncertainty regarding the future etc, excruciating.

Wednesday I have a CT to determine what exactly is in the lung, but they and I know.

Oral treatment in 2 weeks ( can’t wait!! )

Nothing more to say really…

Xx

[Penguin]

Thanks everyone.
A nurse phoned yesterday from the Christie, asking how I was generally. My prompt response was “ rubbish”! I then proceeded to bawl down the phone for ages.

The shock has been overwhelming to say the least.  The uncertainty regarding the future etc, excruciating.

Wednesday I have a CT to determine what exactly is in the lung, but they and I know.

Oral treatment in 2 weeks ( can’t wait!! )

Nothing more to say really…

Xx

Don't give up hope Nas. Just become something is in your lung doesn't mean it's any less treatable than what was in your uterus. Surely the fact they have found it before it causes symptoms will make a difference? They are offering treatment, hang on to that. Nobody is saying nothing can be done. You may well be eligible for trials. Immunotherapy is great these days, it can work wonders. This is the beginning of a journey, not the end. I know you probably can't see it like that, I probably wouldn't either as I'd be terrified too. Uncertainty is awful. But there has been a plan and there will be a revised plan, and these people know what they are doing!!
Also to add, my cousin in Australia back in 2000 had something in his lung. Diagnosed accidentally when he fell off a chair and thought he'd broken a rib but scan showed that instead. He had about a third of one lung removed, carried on smoking (now that I don't advise 😱), but he is still here and it never came back. It happens. You are a person not a statistic, remember that!!! Big hugs, I get this is hard xxx

[Nas]

Penguin, Thankyou SO much for that message. I can actually feel the positivity rise through my body. I’m going to print it off and carry it around with me!

You are right, there is always a plan, always. That’s what the oncologists said. There are other drugs to try, just sitting waiting to be prescribed, already developed.

I have to change my mind set quickly, but I am scared of the scan. Scared of hearing it face to face. Somehow I’m not scared of whatever was in my womb, probably because it’s gone! That will be another set of news for another day.

For now, faith and trust must be put into the medical profession. As you say, they know what they are doing, they are dealing with it every day of the week.

I’m not a smoker penguin, but right now, I could be tempted to smoke “something “ if you get me? 

[SarahT]

Hey Partner,

I've little to say as Penguin have have some beautiful advice  and encouragement. As well as carrying a printed copy of her reply, maybe we can all actually have Penguin in our pockets for when we need her words?!

At least Christies followed you up and you had that opportunity to cry with someone who can understand your fears, pain and in some ways grief. As Penguin said, they have plans, but you are yet to recover from one major surgery and facing a far different future than was expected. In no way can I advise you how to feel or act, you will be all over the place Nas. After the scan, you will know more of what to face and importantly how it will be tackled. I would be bloody terrified but once I know a full diagnosis it helps me a tiny bit to know what I am facing.

You seem to be a bit hard on yourself, why on earth should you not feel shocked and scared? Put the Penguin in your pocket, breathe and be kinder to yourself. Xx

[Nas]

Yes terrified of what may be to come. What my future holds and how it all may end… absolutely bloody terrified.

Now I must hold on to the fact that Christie’s are dealing with this day in, day out. Plans are in place and then more plans.

Scared witless of that scan on Wednesday, petrified at what it’s going to reveal.


It’s so weird as all the time my body was changing, there was me, none the wiser! I was just getting on with my life, completely unaware.

As penguin said, this is the start of a journey, not the end and I must embrace it head on.

Xx

[Limpy]

Nas I know the scan is scary but that will give a better idea of what is going on. Christies are probably the best in the UK to have on your side just now, they really know what they're talking about. They will know exactly what treatment will be best for you

[Nas]

You are right limpy, very right!
They will know how to mange it all and advise of a route forward.

The anti hormonal drugs have already been explained to me and I will collect those on 21st December. It’s called targeted therapy.

Once Wednesdays scan is done, I will know exactly what I’m
going to be dealing with. Just got to be brave and do it.

Xx


 

[SarahT]

Nas right now I don't know of anyone braver than you. You have already faced so much and with more to come. But by all the accounts here Christies seem to be the right team to have working for you and with you. do make sure some one is with you on Wednesday if you can, for practical reasons and the important hand holding x