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[KaraShannon]

Anyone else finding people are hostile in the last 3 years since the pandemic?

People I see face to face agree, but wondering what you all think here.  Who's felt this? 

Today I got someone angrily tooting at me on a roundabout and I was in the right, I was just crossing it after giving way to my right.  A man on the left couldn't wait and seemed to think he had right of way. 

Then at another turning my car nearly stalled, so I was a bit slow.  Another guy behind me in a van was getting really irate, I mean this was a few seconds on a turn where speed is slow anyway.  He then slowed right down and then drove fast at me, threatening to ram the car.  He didn't, but even a threat is an a$$hole (sorry) thing to do. 

Oh I could go on, anyone else?  Tell me I'm not alone!  And I don't just mean stuff like that, but in general.

[WishIdknownsooner]

I’m not sure about since the pandemic, but I know people are more aggressive to me when I drive my girly Fiat 500 to when I drive my transit van.  I drive the same whatever car I’m in, but there are a group of men who are just hostile when they think a woman is driving 

[CLKD]

What we aren't aware of is 'white van man' is on a schedule, particularly if they are driving for Amazon, Evri etc..   They have to get some many deliveries in within the hour or they may have their pay docked.  This attitude by companies is an accident waiting to happen  . It worries me when they drive up close behind then slap on their brakes  or rev engines.  Have U noticed?

I think also it's our own personal attitudes, I moan and groan about those on the road that annoy me.  DH simply gives them space "but they don't learn" if you don't hoot!  But he won't.  His attitude is that they won't realise that the tooting is for them!

I'm reactive.  In general I have found most people that I know reasonably calm and measured in their responses.  As you have noted though, a lot - especially in vehicles, seem to forget their Ps&Qs  .  Also, youngsters seem to have attitude too.

It's sad that our GP surgery and opticians have signs telling clients that if there staff are abused, the patient will be removed from the premises by the Police if necessary 

[KaraShannon]

I’m not sure about since the pandemic, but I know people are more aggressive to me when I drive my girly Fiat 500 to when I drive my transit van.  I drive the same whatever car I’m in, but there are a group of men who are just hostile when they think a woman is driving 

I can well believe that.  I've been driving for 30 plus years and never experienced what's been going on recently.  I mean you do get those men, but it seems way too common now.  Before there would be (in my experience) 90% of male drivers that acted normally as if you were just as capable on the road.  What gets me is both these men were in the wrong, it's not like I was even wrong, but if I had been in the past they wouldn't have jumped on it.

Sorry to hear you have more problems in the Fiat, that's annoying and unfair.

[KaraShannon]

What we aren't aware of is 'white van man' is on a schedule, particularly if they are driving for Amazon, Evri etc..   They have to get some many deliveries in within the hour or they may have their pay docked.  This attitude by companies is an accident waiting to happen  . It worries me when they drive up close behind then slap on their brakes  or rev engines.  Have U noticed?

good point CLKD, the pressure a lot of these people are under is going to be a significant part of the problem.  And the companies and the pressure of our modern world in general is at fault there. 

Plus there are so many more cars on the road, what with that and all the pot holes, driving is no longer a pleasure and for them they are not getting anywhere fast enough.  These guys today though, they weren't being made to wait more than a second or two and the one on the roundabout had to wait and give way to me.  I've noticed a lot of people don't seem to understand roundabouts now as well.

[KaraShannon]

It's sad that our GP surgery and opticians have signs telling clients that if there staff are abused, the patient will be removed from the premises by the Police if necessary 

These signs make me laugh anyway.  No one should be abusive but often I'm finding it's the reception staff that have been and then there's this sign telling the public not to be abusive.  And most of people would never dream of it anyway even when treated badly by the staff.  But I know that's not all staff.

[CLKD]

Red light jumping ........

All roundabouts should have a 20mph speed limit which may stop drivers almost hitting other vehicles as they 'dash' out, not keeping to the 'give way' requirements.

[getting_old]

I've read so many reports about changing social skills following covid, as people weren't interacting with others and lost compassion, etc. People seem to be a lot more selfish and uncaring, and not just when it comes to driving! I do think covid is responsible, but I also think reality TV has a part to play, because so much of the focus is on looks / appearances and having it all. It's a very sad state of affairs, and I don't know what can be done to make people more caring.

On the subject of bad drivers, yesterday OH and I were in the car and watched a woman repeatedly drive right up the back of cars, slam the brakes on, wait whilst others overtook her, then pulling out and racing off at way over the speed limit, then repeating the same thing.

[Autumnwalks]

I feel quite sorry for people who behave badly. They're probably living under extreme stress and are unhappy and angry about their lives. I try to smile and be extra nice to them. It doesn't serve me well to get riled by people so I don't. I think so many people are frightened these days and don't know how to communicate with each other. I probably lead a sheltered life as most people in my life and who I come into contact with give positive vibes. I had a lovely chat with a taxi driver the other day bringing me back from hospital and when I went to pay he refused payment.

[Flossieteacake]

I feel quite sorry for people who behave badly. They're probably living under extreme stress and are unhappy and angry about their lives. I try to smile and be extra nice to them. It doesn't serve me well to get ruled by people so I don't. I think so many people are frightened these days and don't know how to communicate with each other. I probably lead a sheltered life as most people in my life and who I come into contact with give positive vibes. I had a lovely chat with a taxi driver the other day bringing me back from hospital and when I went to pay he refused payment.

That is so lovely! You could post that on the kindness thread.

[KaraShannon]

Red light jumping ........

All roundabouts should have a 20mph speed limit which may stop drivers almost hitting other vehicles as they 'dash' out, not keeping to the 'give way' requirements.

The thing is though, I've been driving for over 30 years and I've never seen such poor behaviour, only recently and seems to have come along with the hostility that others have also reported to me offline and which I've seen (enough of to last a lifetime) myself.

[KaraShannon]

I've read so many reports about changing social skills following covid, as people weren't interacting with others and lost compassion, etc. People seem to be a lot more selfish and uncaring, and not just when it comes to driving! I do think covid is responsible, but I also think reality TV has a part to play, because so much of the focus is on looks / appearances and having it all. It's a very sad state of affairs, and I don't know what can be done to make people more caring.

I know with me and a handful of people I know, covid hasn't changed us, we are still polite, etc.  But seen so much poor behaviour.  I wonder whether people just use it as an excuse. 

Also it became unsafe to walk outside after dark and our area hasn't recovered from that yet and I don't know if it ever will.  I know many places are unsafe but here it never was so it's a radical change.

I know what you mean about the focus on looks and having it all etc, so shallow.  It really isn't everything, none of those picture perfect people can keep it up forever and how hard will they fall when they realise it, there has to be something more than that, so I suppose we should pity anyone who thinks that's everything.

I think caring people are caring, but sadly there are a lot of people that are not and when times are hard the mask just falls off.  I don't think it can be taught, it's instinctual, so I have sadly dropped a lot of people and I know I'm sounding harsh, but I will carry on doing so.

[KaraShannon]

I feel quite sorry for people who behave badly. They're probably living under extreme stress and are unhappy and angry about their lives. I try to smile and be extra nice to them. It doesn't serve me well to get riled by people so I don't. I think so many people are frightened these days and don't know how to communicate with each other. I probably lead a sheltered life as most people in my life and who I come into contact with give positive vibes. I had a lovely chat with a taxi driver the other day bringing me back from hospital and when I went to pay he refused payment.

I agree Autumnwalks, it doesn't serve us to get riled by these people.  But so many people are living under extreme stress and don't behave like that.  I see it as weakness that often, people with less problems start throwing toys out of the pram when things get a little bit uncomfortable or inconvenient. 

I'm glad you're not experiencing it.  Most of these people are not even in my life, it's people in the street, other drivers, people you interact with in shops, surgeries, dentists, etc.  It's been awful.  I'm not sure what the answer is atm, but I do understand about pity, but I can't anymore, they don't have my pity.  A man threatened to ram my car today.  These people need to seriously crawl back from where they came from.

[ElkWarning]

It's a massive problem in schools (with the pupils) and I think the pandemic was a contributory factor, but it's not the sole force, i.e. it's more about what they were doing in lockdown and the new habits that have emerged.  Tiktok has a lot to answer for.  People have also become used to doom scrolling.  And then there's the 37 million TV channels, often rammed with reality shows profiling abusive 'influencers'.  This relationship to the world via online material has atomised folks, which means that they're more concerned with the individual (i.e. themselves) than the community (i.e. others).  Unsurprising I suppose, given that for the last 40 years or so we've been told that the individual is everything.

[KaraShannon]

It's a massive problem in schools (with the pupils) and I think the pandemic was a contributory factor, but it's not the sole force, i.e. it's more about what they were doing in lockdown and the new habits that have emerged.  Tiktok has a lot to answer for.  People have also become used to doom scrolling.  And then there's the 37 million TV channels, often rammed with reality shows profiling abusive 'influencers'.  This relationship to the world via online material has atomised folks, which means that they're more concerned with the individual (i.e. themselves) than the community (i.e. others).  Unsurprising I suppose, given that for the last 40 years or so we've been told that the individual is everything.

Are you in the UK ElkWarning?  Here in the UK we've been in an individualistic society, capitalist, etc, but in the last 40 years it's not resulted in this, well, not triggered it I should say.  The obvious trigger has been the pandemic, it literally changed overnight.  But I suppose the technology has been brewing for a long time.  I just feel there's been an overnight shift.