Thank you both, I've calmed down a good bit now.
Getting older isn't for the faint hearted and while the NHS can't do what it was managing to achieve ten years ago by any stretch of the imagination, we still have what is left of it and so long as you don't mind other people around you dying on trolleys or while waiting hours for the ambulance then hey, no probs, you can wait a few days for admission!
At least these days the NHS are telling patients the whole story, they have no choice but to give all the details when the patient has no choice but to take it outside the NHS for treatment. So I will have that at least. In our region alone the guy on the BBC news said it's in excess of a hundred unnecessary deaths each week due only to the funding/staffing crisis and nothing else whatsoever. These are people
who would live in the south, or in Scotland, if they'd thought to move. That was a scary estimate considering it was July at the time. I don't know whether it's considered vulgar for a female to talk about the relevant money matters or politics here, but I imagine mentioning what was on the BBC news is ok, I get my info from there and ITV, I don't do social media and I'd like to think it's obvious I'm not the tabloid type, so it would be shocking that there is something wrong with quoting the BBC on a UK website, but there is so much prejudice out there, we just didn't know about it until seven years ago because it used to be considered vulgar to be racist. Sad times all round.
I wish I'd done something before now about the bleeding, I've gone private often enough before, I wish I'd thought it might be serious at the time, but I didn't, but being mocked for waiting instead of paying privately, not by any nice ladies here, just two sniders, shocked me into the realisation they were right, I shouldn't have waited ten months for my (more than six months of) post menopausal bleeding to be first investigated, I should have paid to get a private scan because it's kind of scary that in some places the NHS will scan you as an emergency.
I hadn't known that, learnt it here, it's called 2WW and it is a frightening prospect that those women didn't have different symptoms from me, they just live in areas more favoured by the purse string holders.
That was the scariest thing I've read on this website and we aren't supposed to scare each other, but it can also be viewed another way, as women empowering themselves by seeking out and finding correct information. So even though the fact some women are treated as an emergency for my symptoms is indeed terrifying, I wouldn't want to have that information withheld from me for the purpose of not scaring me!
So now that it's 15 months since my post meno bleeding began, I can have my scan for free tomorrow and there was no cancellation of course. Who would wait a year
then cancel? They'd never get off the basic waiting list onto the pending, never mind have an appointment to cancel because they'd go private months beforehand.
I told the nurse over three weeks ago the scan is booked on day 28 of my cycle and she was looking for some way to change the appointment to a more suitable time of the month, but the appointments department have been moved to a central location where they will never know when is the right time in the cycle for any individual, it's assumed that patients are ready to be scanned 24/7.
I don't feel in a position to make a fuss because it's not even my own NHS trust scanning me, the menopause clinic is in the neighbouring trust in a place I'm not familiar with. It's called a gynae clinic on the letter but they said it is the main HRT clinic.
It's noteable that only women are affected by the stupidity of the appointments system change. Men don't have cycles, so for men the best appointments are simply asap, easier to ignore that women are different.
These are my main worries, if I stick to the cause of the hold up, then I needn't think so much about the outcome of the hold up
I'm sitting with sweat dripping off every part of me, a fan blowing on and off as I try to keep up with the way I'll freeze then overheat as it passes. I lay soaked in sweat last night again, since utrogestan started 14 days ago I've not had a single dry night because utrogestan seems to cancel any effect I feel off Estradot50. I'm still on the starting dose, it's still not working well and I'm not allowed to increase my oestrogen to a level that feels right for me until I've had my scan!!!!!
So why don't I stop HRT? My patch fell off before I put my new one on on Tuesday and I had felt really ill on Monday when I assume it wasn't there. That was what I was afraid of.
The Estradot50 isn't anything like enough to control my symptoms. It works way better for me than Evorel50, so I think it's the dose rather than not getting on with the brand. Utrogestan wipes out all the good effects of both Estradot and vagifem, I start wetting myself as soon as I get to use utrogestan vaginally, I've been told 200mg vaginally for 12 days a month, if I take it orally I simply become someone else who might kill herself with very little pushing.
