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[photo_jenny]

Hi

Just as a follow up to my last post, I’m now certain that the total and abrupt cessation of oestrogen into my system and sole presence of progesterone for 10 days caused my recent mood crash (which was horrific in the extreme - black depression and severe anxiety). The GP confirmed it, which was reassuring.

So I have been back on the oestrogen for 11 days and the night sweats have now gone. However my mood is still pretty ropey - still very anxious especially in the morning, and still pretty low.

Question 1: Is it still early days? I’m trying to keep the faith but it’s not always easy …

Question 2: Is it a bad idea to increase the oestrogen dose without consulting the doctor? Our agreement is that I will give it a few weeks on this dose and I am seeing her a week on Monday so can discuss it then.

As my header indicates, I am fairly sure that I know the answers to these questions. It’s just so hard to see the edges of this thing, if you see what I mean 😪.

Any words/reassurances gratefully received.

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Jenny. I completely understand the need to feel better and the desire to increase your oestrogen in the hope you will feel better. I think it may be worth giving your body a little more time. It could be your body needs to get used to the oestrogen dose again and then you are going to feel well again.

It is good you have an appointment soon and you can discuss this with your GP.

Would you say your mood is as low as it was 11 days ago? If so then would you find it helpful to ask for something from the GP to tide you over. I was thinking of something like diazepam to help you to feel relaxed. This may not be something you wish to try so I totally understand if you would prefer not to try that.

[photo_jenny]

Hi Flossie

Thanks for your reply. First of all, no my mood is not as bad as 11 days ago - there have even been times when I have been ok. When I feel low/anxious, I feel horrible - I would say that this is about 65 - 70% of the time. Prior to that it was wall-to-wall despair, desperation and - frankly - suicidal thoughts*. I somehow made it through all my work days, and think that this is my biggest achievement.

I may ask the doctor about diazepam, though I’m fairly certain that it doesn’t work on me; I have tried probably 80% of AD medication over the years (including that really old type where you can’t eat loads of different foods, I can’t remember the name), and I did try both beta blockers and diazepam with no success. This was back in the 90s though, and maybe I didn’t have a high enough dose or whatever.

I’m sure that you’re right, and I need to give it more time. I’ve read over and over again that it can take several weeks for mood efficacy. I’m not working for a while (annual leave), so can properly rest.

Thanks again 🙂

* NB I am 100% sure, based on years of on/off depressions - some extremely severe, to the point of several hospitalisations and many rounds of ECT - that I will not actually do this. I just wanted to make that clear.

[Flossieteacake]

I really feel for you. It must be scary because you have had such severe depression so it is understandable to feel afraid this feeling will last.

It is really positive your mood has lifted from how it was 11days ago. You are right, going to work was a huge achievement. I cannot imagine being able to work despite feeling suicidal.

It is good you are on annual leave right now. If it helps please post for emotional support. Sometimes it helps just to know you are being thought of. 🤗

[sheila99]

If this dose controlled your symptoms before you stopped hrt it's likely it will do so again. Flushes are quick to go, emotional ones take longer. My anxiety and insomnia took 3 months. I would suggest you give it the three months they recommend before increasing. Symptoms of too much oestrogen can be just as bad as too little.