Well had a phone appt with a g.p today. First thing is that she listened and took me seriously.
Hate hate hate having to say just how severe my moods and thoughts are at times in my cycle. I almost cannot believe that our own hormones can turn on us. But she understood for me this is cyclical, and although my moods can be up and down during the month, that is bearable and in some parts less hormonal and more to do with ' external ' life problems.
So, she has prescribed a low dose of Mirtazapine, to be taken only the week prior to my period. Hopefully along with giving the higher dose of hrt patch more time to suppress ovulation, and therefore continue to even out the awful mood swings, my mental health my be a lot better. Tbh, she understood just how scared I was becoming at these out of control thoughts. I know it takes time to kick in but am in that crap week now so maybe next month will improve.
I am already on the waiting list for talking therapy to work on my non hormonal problems too.
Mirtazapine should save guard what is left of my libido which was a big concern. Am aware some do increase weight on this med, and for someone who has weight and image issues this isnt ideal. So will be aware of this. It's all a compromise, and I have better chance at controlling weight if that is applicable as a side affect rather than potentially having zero sex drive.
Thanks all do your comments and advice. I so appreciate all your honesty and advice.
Life's crap sometimes but I know the bad days so become good again and today is another way to support myself.
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