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[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I was thinking of starting my own little campaign of Cry January lol.

My troublesome mood swings have continued into the New Year( no surprise there) so I wondered if I should try and embrace the emotional chaos and allow myself to feel the full extent of the low moods instead of fretting about them.

I have other moods as well of course and this morning I felt cheerful and optimistic until lunchtime when a horrible sensation of doom and nervousness came over me. This lasted for about an hour and then I felt more normal again.

My latest regime of half a 1mcg sachet of Sandrena gel daily has resolved the vaginal dryness which was sneaking back when I was only using a quarter of a Sachet. I have also seen a return of a few sweats but these seems to be cold sweats with excess sweating for some reason. Basically I am still on an emotional rollercoaster and I am beyond tired of it.

I have battled through many of the physical symptoms of the menopause, some were mild whilst others didn't bother me at all but I worry for my sanity when my moods change so much in the course of a day.

Sorry to prattle on ladies but I know you will understand and not judge me which is so important.
 
I have an appointment with Newson Health later this month and I will update the forum when I can. In the meantime Cry January it is!

Wishing you all well ladies.

K.

[Limpy]

Sending lots of hugs Kathleen 
Really hope your appointment goes well but pending that, you cry if you want to but seize the happy times when they happen.

[Flossieteacake]

Please do not apologise for your post. You are not prattling on. One therapist I had told me, we can often feel low or down and rather then to keep trying to block it out, it helps to allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge the low mood. I think you allowing yourself to cry and to feel is healthy. You said you felt better this morning so perhaps it will help to remind yourself you can get back to that feeling. Yes, you will have times you feel low but it will pass.

It is wonderful the vaginal dryness has improved. That is such an awful feeling.

I hope your appointment goes well but in the meantime the forum is here for you.

[Keep On Swimming]

Oh Kathleen,

I'm sad to read your post but I can identify with the feelings of when is this going to be over (and I've just started peri proper!).

I did the MBSR course a few years ago to help me deal with the physical and mental angst of not finding the right thyroid dose for 8.5 years and we were taught to go with our feelings and sensations (both physical and mental).

We were taught how to say "Hello sadness, irritation, anger, etc." and lay out the welcome mat and just observe. You have to be still to see what happens, just sit with it all. Quite often, the feelings dissipate, or aren't quite so full on when you actually go right up and feel them.

But... I've been having a return of the horrible Big Dippers (night sweats accompanied by rolling nausea and anxiety) and low mood and to be honest, sometimes I really just don't want to sit and acknowledge any of it... The only thing that gets me through the night horrors is gulping in air and repeating in my head, this will pass, this will pass...

And then a new day dawns, and I haven't corked it in the night time, and lo and behold I'll see a wee robin or something and feel joy!

Now I'm off to hug a tree (joke).

I hope you get your HRT regime tweaked during your appointment. Fingers crossed.

We're all in this together, and we'll all come out to some sort of acceptable other side too!

xxx

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies

Thank you all so much for your kind responses.

I awoke jittery with a headache this morning but I feel that my mood is lifting now so we'll see how that goes lol.

Limpy - thank you for the hug and I will certainly take your advice.

Flossieteacake -  I am sure that your therapist is right and thank you for passing that information on. I will do my best to 'go with the flow '.

Keep On Swimming - I am not familiar with the MBSR course so I might try and find out more about it. As with the advice of the other ladies your comments make complete sense.
I also understand with the frustration of it all so you have my sympathy with your Big Dippers!

Thanks again ladies for being there, it's much appreciated.

Wishing you all well.

K.

[Peri2022]

Hi Kathleen, sorry to hear you’re still struggling with mood swings. They are the worst. I had quit HRT for a while but it was the bleak mood that drove me back to trying it again…I felt generally blah and flat, and then from day 21 of my cycle to my period I felt so bleak and hopeless, even dressing and showering was a chore. I couldn’t function. Now I’m 5 weeks into Estradot again and the mood swings have all but vanished - just normal fluctuations if the weather is rubbish or I’ve had a rough day, but nothing like the massive swing into doom and gloom. Obviously everyone is different but I hope you get a good solution or at least something to try at your Newson appointment. I really had lost hope but I can say that there is light on the other side. Sending love.

[Kathleen]

Hello Peri 2022

Thank you so much for your comments.

I agree that these changes in mood are very different from the normal ups and downs of life.

Your post gives me hope that there is a solution and I am truly looking forward to my NH appointment!

Wishing you well and take care.

K.

[Aprilflower]

Nope.  I don't drink much anyway so not much point.

[KaraShannon]

Kathleen, wishing you well with your NH appointment and I'm sure they can help you feel more on an even keel.

I'm usually ok since I've been on evorel sequi, but we are lowering the oestrogen slightly and on top of that my best friend broke up with his wife in dec, he's like family to me as a long term friend and I've been so worried for him and also my mother needing (or wanting) continual input and support.  I feel no one is looking after me though, well it's a fact, so I'm also doing the cry January at the moment.

I look forward to the better weather, hope that will help us all a bit.

[Kathleen]

Hello KaraShannon

Thank you for your kind wishes and I am looking forward to my NH appointment which seems a bit sad in itself lol.

I am sorry that you are having these extra stresses and I know what you mean about feeling that no one is looking after you.

I agree about the better weather and now when I walk anywhere I do it at a brisk pace to try and lighten my mood. I am also a fan of naps if I feel very tired.

I hope your situation improves soon and wishing you well.

K.

[KaraShannon]

I agree about the better weather and now when I walk anywhere I do it at a brisk pace to try and lighten my mood. I am also a fan of naps if I feel very tired.

I hope your situation improves soon and wishing you well.

K.

Thanks Kathleen

And you are right about walking and also naps.  Sometimes we have to take that time.  So many of us go through this it's got to be normal, but sometimes I think we may feel like we are the only ones when we are napping or not as functional as we think we should be.  But we are not the only ones and no doubt we will have times when we are firing on all cylinders again. 

[Kathleen]

Hello again ladies.

KaraShannon  As you say this transition is normal and I wonder if sometimes we make it even harder by expecting too much of ourselves.

Pro Tim Spector has made a list of small achievable goals that could improve our well being over time.  He has listed them on his Zoe YouTube channel and apparently you can download them as an App and track your results over a twelve week period.  I already practice most of them but the idea of earlier bedtimes looks appealing and this might help stabilise my moods so I plan to give it a try. I also wonder if the time frame is significant and means that even small changes yield big results given enough time.

I won't be using the App but I have made a note of his suggestions in my diary. The list is as follows if you are interested :-  Eat more plants, about thirty every week
                        Go to bed thirty minutes earlier
                        Exercise twenty minutes a day
                        Reduce alcohol
                        Have a deep breathing session every day
                        Do daily stretches
                         Eat in a twelve hour window
                       

Any and all of the above have benefits so there is nothing to lose by giving them a try.

Wishing you well and take care.

K.

[Angelasurrey]

Hi Kathleen,

I can totally relate to your experience with crying. I’ve been crying since I woke up in the middle of the night.
 I think in my case, I feel a level of guilt as I feel like I have no reason to cry.  :'(This is mainly to do with how I was raised and we were not allowed to show emotions in our family. It was very black-and-white thinking and so I  feel guilty for crying. I try to remind myself as hard as it is, my body is trying to release something and it’s definitely the hormones. CBT helps..
I remember you helped me with Sandrena gel questions when I was at absolute rock bottom .. thank you so much. i’m still not where I need to be Im with NH too, I just want you to remember that even on your lowest days and all of our bad days that we are not alone.

Sending love to you and anyone struggling today xx

[Flossieteacake]

Hi Kathleen,

I can totally relate to your experience with crying. I’ve been crying since I woke up in the middle of the night.
 I think in my case, I feel a level of guilt as I feel like I have no reason to cry.  :'(This is mainly to do with how I was raised and we were not allowed to show emotions in our family. It was very black-and-white thinking and so I  feel guilty for crying. I try to remind myself as hard as it is, my body is trying to release something and it’s definitely the hormones. CBT helps..
I remember you helped me with Sandrena gel questions when I was at absolute rock bottom .. thank you so much. i’m still not where I need to be Im with NH too, I just want you to remember that even on your lowest days and all of our bad days that we are not alone.

Sending love to you and anyone struggling today xx

Angela, your post really touched me. I can relate to growing up were you are not allowed to show your feelings or to cry and it really is so damaging. Please remember that crying is your bodies way of stopping the sorrow from building up and overtaking you. It is healthy to cry and you are allowed to cry. When you say you have no reason to cry, there does not have to be a reason. Your body cries because it needs to. Some people even cry when they are really happy so please remind yourself that you can cry and nobody can make you feel bad for that any more. Sending you a hug. 

[Kathleen]

Hello again ladies.

Angelasurrey and Flossieteacake  - I can relate to both posts. I suspect many of us were made uncomfortable with crying when we were younger, my family certainly weren't comfortable showing strong emotions.

Yet again I am on the edge of tears today and I can't figure out if this is a product of  low mood or the cause of it, I also have no real reason to cry.

I have an appointment soon with NH but I'm worried that I won't hear anything new. I have been with them since the beginning of 2020 and I have been on high, medium and now a low dose of Oestrogen, plus two types of progesterone and Androfeme. Hopefully Dr Sarah Ball will have some other suggestions up her sleeve. Fingers crossed.

My friend who has trained as a therapist tells me that it is okay to cry but these moods feel so alien and imposed, they take over for a while and then disappear, until the next time of course. Trying to stay sane is exhausting.

I will update the forum after my appointment as promised.

Wishing you both well and take care.

K.