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[CLKD]

Well done JoJo42!

Psychology Today : Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

How a narcissistic parent may set the stage for an abusive partner.

Posted February 19, 2018 |  Reviewed by Kaja Perina

 A long read but worth the slog!  I realised a lot about 18 years ago when it was recommended to me by an American friend who recognised my Mum's behaviour, simply by our e-mal 'conversations'.

[JoJo42]

I think my mother might be a narcissist too. I found out by accident while trying to read and find out about how and why someone discards a person in such a cold and abrupt manner. She did it in such a cruel way that it shocked me and everything about my life came crashing down. I stood in the ruins and realised that absolutely nothing about any of it had been normal or secure or stable although I had thought, as an adult, my relationship with my mum was very close and we would speak or see each other most days! I realised she had just used me. That’s when I started to find out more about narcissists and she fit the description perfectly. Also, I was able to totally relate the “flying monkeys” and the “hoovering”  - occurring even after several years of not speaking! Unbelievable! I also feel like I’m living my life on high-alert! Raised voices and loud noises send me running for the hills. One good thing about it all - I developed a really excellent, finely-tuned ability to bounce back! Sounds like you are doing a really good job of that too! All the best to you, you lovely woman xx

[CLKD]

I also feel like I’m living my life on high-alert! Raised voices and loud noises send me running for the hills

I can so relate.   

[JoJo42]

Thank you so much, CLKD. I’ll have a read. I’ve definitely had my share of abusive partners too.  Sorry you can relate to those feelings. I think family issues are so hard to deal with. I feel awkward trying to explain to people about my mother because I’m sure some people find it hard to see how a mother could discard a child. I’m sure they secretly think I must be the monster in the situation xxx

[CLKD]

I'm sure we have a thread somewhere ........  . I've added to it .....   "Childhood Memories"
Cooler today 

[ATB]

Jojo, I don’t think people would necessarily assume that about you, lots of people out there have complicated families. It’s so common! So glad to hear you can bounce back too, and sending a huge hug to you! I will say, one thing I am grateful for is for whatever reason I grew up to never tolerate any either verbal or physical abuse towards me and I met the loveliest man when I was young who has been a great husband and father and is super gentle and kind. My home as an adult is the opposite to what I lived in as a kid, it’s quiet, peaceful and happy. I don’t know how I would of got through menopause and thyroid troubles without his support & understanding. It’s hard, but it’s definitely possible to get through this type of childhood trauma and the anxiety it leaves behind.  X

[Katherine]

ATB, in response to your post about the heatwave, I know what you mean, I felt really unsettled and couldn’t sleep due to the heat. I only just caught up last night. Yesterday we had a big fire in the woods only 2 streets away from my house so I was literally digging out holdalls to take my most prized possessions! Luckily the fire was put out and the house is still standing! I agree menopause is especially difficult if you are already a worrier but on the flip side I feel like if you have a lot of experience of anxiety then you are better prepared. I will definitely have to get back into meditation, I used to find it so beneficial but have got out of the habit. Wishing you well. X

[ATB]

Oh my goodness Katherine! That’s terrifying to have a fire to deal with on top of everything else. So glad it wasn’t as serious. I woke too early this morning again so I feel quite shattered and the house still feels stuffy. We got rain today so now it’s starting to feel quite nice and the garden has got a good water. I also decided I would keep my medications in the cool box near the door just in case of emergencies it’s good to have essential hormones inc thyroid at the ready as I store about 4 months of that one at a time. I’ll just keep current week by my bed. Hope everyone is feeling nice and cooled down!

[Katherine]

Glad you got some rain ATB and I hope you get a good sleep tonight. Good idea about keeping your medications near the door. I have insisted that we keep the cat carrier out of the loft just in case we need to take her in an emergency. My partner thinks I over worry about things like that but he usually goes along with these things so that helps a lot.

[CLKD]

U are not overworry9ing!  For 10+ years I've had precious photos in a bag to grab, I lifted it yesterday.  I am sure that it wasn't *that* heavy when I packed it  .  I have a thread here somewhere about 'what to take'. 

[ATB]

I’ve asked you not to comment on my threads CLKD.