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[pricey]

Hi ladies,

I stopped HRT by my own choice about a year ago. I had hellish prolonged periods finally resulting in a polyp being removed and am due to have a follow up biopsy (told a 'belt and braces' approach) due to a disordered proliferative endometrium and the fact I'm 56.

I work full time in quite a senior role, have worked through the pandemic. When I told my doctor my anxiety had started up again she suggested antidepressants or beta blockers. I said what about HRT after my follow up biopsy, assuming all clear,  she seemed reluctant. I'm off it now, so to speak. I think a lot of doctors see that as the goal. I'm not sure I want to go back on it but I am concerned about my mood. I'm having horrendous surges of anxiety which wake me around 4 or 5am. I usually manage well with breathing and mindfulness. I do yoga, walk, meditate. Things generally improve as the day progresses, but I feel overwhelmed and struggle to enjoy downtime because I dread work, etc. I have health anxiety now about multiple issues, keep telling myself I can't be dying of several things at once. My anxiety around swallowing (which I had before HRT) has returned.

I'm tempted to try another doctor but the one I see ('see', ha!) is supposedly the menopause specialist. Even the fact our surgery is still only doing phone appointments is stopping me from opening up. I feel like if i could pour everything out to someone in person it would help.

I'm back at work this week after leave and I'm dreading it. I know how much will be on my shoulders. I always rise to the challenge when I get there, but the constant steeling myself for it is exhausting. I have resisted taking time out because I fear that will make things worse in the long run and it is also viewed very negatively.  I have days when I just want to run away! This has been a cycle for at least 6 months now.

My hubby is wonderfully supportive and just wants to help. But I only tell him the surface of what I am feeling and he reassures me it's my hormones and if I take time for self care it will pass eventually.

I don't even know why I'm writing this today. I suppose I just need to say 'help!'

X

[warwick01]

Hi Pricey

Sorry to hear your struggles. I was exactly the same in my mid 50s - loved work prier to suffering anxiety and panic attacks due in my opinion to menopause. I lost my confidence, wanted to run out of work, dreaded doing presentations which I once enjoyed. Decided to finish work and concentrate on me.

I am on HRT but just started a antidepressant and pray this helps me enjoy life again. I am 62 now.

Take care

Wx

[CLKD]

Cortisol - the waking hormone - can overwhelm us !  I would wake any time after 3.30 a.m. absolutely terrified.  I hardly dared to move, eat, drink, totally over taken by pre-hensile fear.  My GP gave me Propranolol - which I took for over 11 years.  It really eased those early morning anxiety surges. I also have to eat every 3 hours to keep blood sugar levels even so that I don't get sudden energy dips.


Difficulties in swallowing can be age related.  Also reflux can cause similar symptoms.  If you sip water during the day it will help keep the mouth, lips and throat moist, there are sweeties too but I can't remember the specific name.  As oestrogen levels drop, the body may become dry, including vagina and throat.  Skin, deep in the ears etc. etc.. 

That 'going back to school' feeling has never left me, all down the years I've struggled but usually been OK once I get there.  Anticipation anxiety is difficult to control.  I have used Bachs rescue remedy either sweeties or mouth spray with success.  An as necessary tablet has saved my Life too, prescribed by my supportive GP. 





I would insist on seeing a GP face2face.  Surgeries should by now be open 4 business.  If not, ask for a home visit ;-).  A few weeks ago I had a lump on my head that I was concerned about, after speaking to the receptionist the GP rang me - I was seen 4 days after that.  The Waiting Room was empty!  You could tell the GP that your mental health is at risk ...... lay it on a bit thick!   

It is known that patients often wait until almost leaving the appt to actually mention the worry that they really attended for, no one can see that during a 'phone call!  Because GPs aren't seeing patients - for which the public pays GOOD money over the years - A&E are overwhelmed.  Some ambulances are waiting outside A&E Depts for as long as 17 hours ....... obviously with a knock on effect.  I wonder how many of those attending could have been seen by a GP?

A letter to the Practice Manager, copy to the GP plus you could also write to your local MP and Javid at Westminster?  I had a good result with my local MP though am awaiting a response from Javid, 8 weeks on.   And your local paper if your GP still won't see you Face2Face.  We shouldn't be fighting to be seen!  We pay their wages which tends to get forgotten. 

Some of course are short of GPs due to many reaching retirement age  which governments have not taken on board.  It's all been lip service . . ........ now the gaps in the 'health service' has come to light so the public are more aware.  Sorry, venting 

[EllaW]

Hi Pricey,

I can relate completely to your description of overwhelming anxiety and especially health anxiety. I feel like my brain latches on to a fear and won’t let go of it. I then catastrophise about it and google what I think it might be. Always a bad idea!
I also wake like clockwork at 4 or 5am in a panic and with the most horrible thoughts racing through my head.  This developed with me before I started hrt during peri menopause and hrt did help me. It has got worse recently when I tried to reduce my hrt dose and after 3 months found I was really low with lots of tears and feelings of hopelessness about the situation. I,ve gone back to full dose now in the hope that it lessens a bit so it might be worth you considering hrt. Lots of people mention beta blockers for this waking cortisol anxiety but I have low blood pressure so can’t take them. I work full time and sometimes it feels like my life is just a combination of work and anxiety.
I was interested in CLKD’s comment on eating every 3 hours and think I might try that because I also have increased migraine activity!
I definitely get the need to just ‘run away’ feeling on a regular basis too. Hope you get something that works for you because it is so horrible dealing with all of this.

[CLKD]

Eating regularly and keeping hydrated can certainly ease headaches.

[Sazzle42115]

Hi Pricey
No consolation but in exactly the same boat. I wake up feeling so anxious and then am constantly on flight or fight mode. It's exhausting. I can't seem to find anything helpful in breaking this awful cycle. I used to be so competent in all aspects of my life now I'm a shell of my former self. My nerves are shot I'm still trying to find a helpful HRT regime and also on AD. No enjoyment in anything ATM. Going to phone my Drs again tomorrow and ask to be seen face to face. It's hard knowing whether to hang on in there or have a complete change re work to something less taxing. Sending you lots of love xx

[CLKD]

Don't try to hang on.  Get that appt sorted.  Make a note of your symptoms etc..  Which AD has been prescribed?

[Michelle7474]

Hi pricey

Just wanted to let you know your not alone with the aniexty .. most of this site have or are suffering .. we all here to listen and try and help each other so whenever you feel the need to write things come on here someone is always reading and ladies are helpful
I do hope you have better days soon and I hope you get to see your GP face to face
Because by now we should be able too

Xx

[sheila99]

Your age shouldn't be a problem but the endometrium might be. I would ask for a referral to a menopause clinic so you can discuss it with a specialist. My worst symptoms were anxiety and insomnia too, woke up at 3am worrying about everything and couldn't get back to sleep. Almost normal on hrt (anxiety gone, sleep much better but not as good as it used to be).

[Sazzle42115]

CLKD I'm on 4 sprays Lenzetto and 100mg utrogestan orally and 30mg Mirtazapine, been on 30mg for 3 weeks, previous 15mg and increased gradually.....15mg helped with sleep but GP advice to increase to 30 to help anxiety and depression. Early days but feel miserable.

[pricey]

CLKD, Sazzle, Avalon,  Michelle, Warwick, Ella, Sheila  (I hope I haven't missed anyone).  Thank you so much for the care you've taken in replying to me here. I am sorry you all are struggling in some way or another but feel relieved to not be alone. CLKD, don't get me on my soapbox! I agree with everything you say!

I know I felt like this before starting HRT five or six years ago. I know I won't be able to go on it again at least until after the follow up biopsy and as my bleeds are much more settled, I really don't want to risk that disruption again. So I would like to try and overcome (or at least manage) this without ... if I can!

Sheila, I'm a bit concerned about your comment about the endometrium.  The last thing I need is more anxiety! The senior nurse hysteroscopist who explained the findings said that the disordered proliferative endometrium is very common in peri and it was only because of my 'late' menopause that they want to keep an eye. She said had I been 5 years younger I would have been discharged. I'm still worried about it though, but have done my best to keep that from overwhelming me. I have enough other worries!

I woke feeling frantic again at 5am and feel paralysed with indecision about how to proceed the next few days. Normally I just push myself through, but this feels worse. I'm telling myself I probably could do with a few days to take stock, increase the self care and work out a plan, but I know if I call in sick I will feel overwhelmed with guilt.

Have any of you found any herbal supplements useful for anxiety? I will look at the rescue remedy spray CLKD. I do all the right things with meditation, walking, yoga, etc.

Thank you all for being so kind and supportive.

X

[CLKD]

Morning.  Many years ago a therapist asked: "R U so important that U think others are watching U the whole time". I was really offended.  But in reality, a certain amount is true, we need to look after our selves, stop worrying about what others might be thinking (projection) and make plans for those times we are unwell.  If you had your appendix removed?  How would your work place cope?

For overwhelming anxiety I had to have 'valium' on an as necessary basis.  After several years and coping much better, my GP has prescribed a pill that I take immediately anxiety strikes.  I used to wait to see if the surges would settle, but DH pushed for me to use at once as we know that it either knocks me out for a few hours, or enables me ;-).

Herbals - St Johns Wort - should not be taken with any other prescribed medications.  Let us know how you get on?