Sounds like you need to increase the local hrt, it can take a long time to feel ok down there. I was given dilators from the gynaecologist at my hospital when I was seeing them. As you probably know they come in a set with increasing sizes. I found them useful but make sure you use loads of lubricant and of course start small! I found them on line and as you say they are expensive! A toy is also good and a bit more interesting. I bought one from Boots, a brand called Swoon, vibrating pleasure wand. It's not too big and it's not too expensive I don't think. It's all about patience, it's a horrible thing to experience and so easy to lose confidence. I use ovestin alternate nights and non hrt gel the other night.