Thank you for your replies and help. I am thrown by all this as I'd thought I'd managed to get "through it" (probably with the Mirena help) and now am pole axed by hot flushes, anxiety and immense sadness and flatness. If I'd ever thought about the menopause before I'd just thought it was cessation of bleeding every month..which I didn't have anyway...and a few hot moments..which I thought would be quite fun (?!!!) as I tend to run on the chilly side!
I didn't see your answers until today and hadn't dared to start the HRT as was so very, very anxious about the cancer risks,(partly because I am getting so much more anxious these days and catastrophise more than I ever have before..so not in th best mind set decision wise!) Also the fact that it might just be putting off the inevitable? One doctor told me I'd be on HRT until 60 years old(54 at them moment) and then symptoms would re occur when I came off but perhaps not as badly)
Long story short, I went back to see the only doctor I could get in with....who incidentally before I have trusted and think is a very good one , and someone whom I trust...to discuss the matter as last Monday I had tears literally leaking out of my eyes all day as I was so very sad. I've never been like it at work /managed to disguise it/get out of it but scarily last Monday I had no control., so phoned the doctors barely able to speak for crying. Anyway, he saw me and has prescribed Sertraline for me, as he said a lower risk and the depression and anxiety are what are really affecting me...although would like to be rid of the almost hourly hot flushes, abeit I am lucky as I don't go red so they aren't obvious , and don't look over sweaty..but omg my wet neck under my hair!
To be honest I don't want to take anything as don't like to but am going to have to as I am fed up of trying to cope. When I look back over the last few years I've been trying to cope with it all in various ways for a while, and I am tired of it all. Tired of trying to cheer myself up, tired of feeling anxious , and more recently tired of waking in the night literally on fire!