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[snappy]

This forum is literally a life saver for many sufferers.
Most of us with these symptoms never come across anyone within their friendship groups going through this hell.
Hang on in there, we're all in this together x

[racjen]

Yes, that's a big part of the problem isn't it? I know there are loads of us out there suffering like this, because I meet you all on here (thank god), but I never meet anyone in my daily life who has any idea what it's like. Many have had bits and pieces, the usual hot flushes, aches and pains etc., maybe even low level anxiety and depression, but not the hell many of us describe. I end up feeling they all think I'm just exaggerating...

[CLKD]

Any improvement Girls?

[racjen]

Well, given that anxiety is my biggest and most debilitating symptom I'm giving pregabalin another go, but experimenting with taking it every three or four days rather than every day. Unfortunately that means that I'm unlikely to get constant relief from anxiety and insomnia as you would taking it daily, but since for me the build up in my brain from taking it daily leads to suicidal depression, I figured that maybe I could avoid that by taking it intermittently and still get one good day in 3 or 4. Have been doing this over Xmas so that I could plan some good days and so far it's been OK - taking 150mg gives me a decent night's sleep and at least dulls the morning anxiety. But I've yet to discover whether this will last - I may still reach a point where it's too much and I go into suicidal mode again. Hope not. Happy New Year x

[Rosebush]

   xx

[Tc]

Clkd. Thanks for asking. I have posted a new topic under discussion titled "aargggh". Bout my hrt debacle today.
Just would like to say I realy realy wish all you ladies better health for the new year with all my heart❤

[CLKD]

Keep some of that heart  but I appreciate the sentiment.  Read your other thread 

[Ladybt28]

Hi Tc - suicidal thoughts - yep have them all the time, but I was at worst for a long time in the summer and if it wasn't for the ladies on here...well. I was pretty bad in March when I got taken into hospital with sepsis and wasn't a bit bothered that they thought I was gonna die..to be honest I was a bit relieved    isn't that a terrible thing to admit to... but my thought process was "oh good, now I can take the cowards way out, nature is going to do if for me"!  but no one talks about this stuff.  I don't have any friends racjen so it's never a topic of conversation and only my eldest son and husband know really how bad I can be...and the ladies on here.

In the summer I was on continuous progesterone and the wrong progesterone for me but my medical records would show it is obvious that I have an underlying problem with depression and have had for 40 years, although no AD's, counselling or cbt have made it any better so I often ponder how much is hormonal?  Trouble started around 13 when periods started??  AD's just made me numb, they certainly didnt help ever.

Tc - your body has had a shock regarding your op, it is not small beer by anyone's imagination.  It sounds badly mismanaged but that is not your fault but it has put your body into a situation where it can't cope with others incompetence - none of us can when we can barely hold it together for more than 5 minutes!.... but we have to remember.. we are on this forum, we are all together in whatever trials we face moment to moment... there is always someone along to "talk to us" on here so we can gain a bit of comfort and perspective when we have thrown ours out the window!

I have to remember all I have written above when I disappear into the blackness...which is at some point every week... sometimes every day - so to answer the question yes there are plenty of us on here who have those thoughts and whose meno journey makes us desperate but somehow I am now hanging onto the fact that it is my body making my head bad and not that my head is the problem.... that has given me a tiny weeny bit of hope.

Love to you all out there, racjen, Tc, AgethaC and anyone else who is afraid to tell what really goes on in their head...you are not alone.

[Tc]

Well saidx

[CLKD]

Half a day at a time.  I never say 'yes' to anything in the evening because I have learnt that by morning, I will have so much anxiety  .  I have learned to pace myself but it hasn't been easy!

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