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[GypsyRoseLee]

I have been in exactly the same place as you *racjen*. Thanks to a total failure by several GPs (and yes, even so called specialists at a Menopause clinic) my sudden onset of extreme anxiety + crippling depression was completely missed diagnosed and I ended up under the 'care' of the Crisis Team and their psychiatrist. Nothing they tried helped one jot because I wasn't 'mentally ill' in anyway they had experience of. Hormonal anxiety/mood swings/depression are DIFFERENT. The psychiatrist focused on my 'long history of regular anxiety and depressive episodes' (yes, that would be the PMS which does tend to happen on a very regular basis, you twat). And much was made of my having to take ADs for 2 years back in the early Noughties (yes, that was just after my first baby was born, you twat). She refused to acknowledge any link between my hormones and my mental health.

Thank God I finally found my way to here and Prof Studd. I have been pretty much 'cured' for the last couple of years apart from the occasional 'dip' where the depression/anxiety return for several days. I keep a diary and every time I 'dip' it's ALWAYS on, or around, the 25th of the month. I can go 2-3 months with no dip, but then, ooops, out of nowhere I can dip again. But isn't it funny that it's always around the 25th??? It's obviously not coincidence to anyone with any common sense.

[Blot]

What was it that helped you GypsyRoseLee?

[racjen]

I keep wondering if I need to splurge some savings to see Prof Studd, but I hear such mixed reviews on here about him I just don't know what to think. Your story is SO similar to mine though GRL, I can't help thinking he's the man I need.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I am on his usual combination of 4 pumps Estrogen daily + blob of testosterone gel daily + 100mg of Utrogestan 7 days per month. I have a very light, 3 day withdrawal bleed which starts halfway through my 7 days of Utrogestan.

When I last had my endometrium scanned my lining was nice and thin. Prof Studd confirmed this meant his treatment was working and was surpressing my own menstrual cycle. This is turn meant I was no longer subject to the devastating hormonal surges and swings caused by my peri menopause.

As said above, I still have the occasional 'dip' but they're getting much further apart + much less severe. This probably corresponds to me reaching the end of my peri menopause as I'm now 48, and my own menstrual cycle is giving up the ghost.

His bedside manner is poor, but I didn't want him to befriend me, I wanted him to cure me and he did.

*racjen* I now get my HRT on the NHS via my GP, but they were only prepared to prescribe it after getting an advisory letter from Prof Studd. Basically they wanted to cover their backs and cite that my medication was consultant led and advised. When I get to 52ish I intend going back to see him to discuss reducing my oestrogen dose as I assume I won't need such a high dose in my 50s when I am post menopause?

[CLKD]

Lovely to see you GRL!  So pleased that you get relief for most days!  It's been a Long Haul 4 U!!

Trouble is when we feel ill, sore, depressed, un-listened to - it can be hard work getting our points across.  I took DH with me as I was too depressed to open my mouth leave alone ask for help  .  Fortunately my GP made time to listen.  It should not be a battle  .  I have resorted to lists, putting down stuff and handing it over to the Doctor to read.  That helped a lot.

[Ladybt28]

I've been/still am where you have both been and in August I actually booked to see Prof Studd in London (I live in NI!) but because of what I read here I put my foot down and got an appointment at the meno clinic in Belfast.  We only have one meno consultant here in NI and she does the private and the NHS clinic so there was no point in seeing her privately.  I pretty much told them on the second occasion what I thought I needed and I am going to do the same again very shortly.  I am on 4 pumps oestrogel a day and 12 days Utro but I know it needs cut to 7 days (I get mega depressed so I cant function on 12)  I know I also need testosterone like GRL but I haven't managed to get that bit yet.  That is what I am working on next.  There is no way I am going anywhere near the mental health "professionals!!?" ever again.

To be honest Prof Studd is controversial but there are plenty of women on here who have been helped by him but I came to the conclusion his regime for progesterone intolerance is widely talked about here and we all know our own bodies or get to know them as we try and fail or try something and succeed a bit - so I decided that is the way I was going and am just telling my "so called professionals" the way it is going to be!  As long as they know and if I need a scan I can get one - then I can only try - it might just be the right road without the heavy cost of actually seeing Prof Studd - it may well not work then I need to divise plan B.  GRL is now on the right track - she sounded like me and several others do to. I am going to follow in their footsteps - why reinvest the wheel - they have already done the testing - nowi it my turn.  I do the same as CLKD take someone with me and write a list.  Its hard as she says when you are at rock bottom but we still have fight left in us and it need to come out for us to get what we need.

I think that you can get what you need racjen - trust your instincts.  I would say you might be pleasantly surprised when you get to the clinic in Poole if you tell them what you think is the problem.  Dont ask them what they think is the problem because they wont have a baldy notion (irish phrase!) but you pretty much know already - just ask them how they would treat it and you may get the studd regime or close to it for starters.  Sorry if anyone thinks I am talking out turn just trying to get across how I am dealing with similar issues and they go way back hormonally 40 years! 
We are really routing for you racjen.

[CLKD]

You are certainly not talking out of turn.  The idea is to put experiences across so that ladies can read and take on board what is appropriate and shelf what might be of use later on.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I agree, it is vital that we share our knowledge and do all we can to support each other. I was very privileged that I could afford to see Prof Studd a few times, but many women can't. So if what I paid for can help other women, I will be happy.

[racjen]

Thanks to you all, I really appreciate the input, it can only help us having more information from each other when there's so little solid research to go on.

The problem for me is that I'm already on Evorel 100 patches, which I think I'm right in saying are equivalent to 4 pumps of oestrogel, and I can just about get thru 7 days of utrogestan 100mg. So that's what I've been doing, but I still feel awful - the main problem is the incredibly acute anxiety and dread first thing in the morning, and enduring that every single day for a whole year has resulted in associated depression, but I see that as reactive to my situation, not hormonal, as my original depression was sorted by the high level of oestrogen.

I'm super-sensitive to any kind of psychotropic drug, so ADs and anti-anxiety meds can't help; the worst thing is I think testosterone is the missing part of the jigsaw, but I seem to be super-sensitive to that in the same way, so when I tried it it made me very depressed. So I'm at a point where I'm really wondering if there is anything anyone can do for me, or am I just stuck with this awful situation until my body adjusts?

[Ladybt28]

Just back-tracking have you been on oestrogel?  I remember reading here (I think it was Hurdity who wrote recently to someone) that some women have problems with Evorel patches something about absorption of dose?  I could'nt do femeston sequi patches, nor evorel sequi or conti patches.  The femeston was really bad.  Just saying...?

I'll go back when I have a minute and read the beginning of your posts but I believe that you are just starting out on this journey.

Mine has taken 2 years to get where I am - a huge amount of patience is sometimes required.  Of course there is something someone can do - and that someone is you.  You need to get to or pick what you think is likely to be the best thing from what you have read and stick to it solidly for at least 3 months however tough - I have changed quite a bit every 3 months and I had a period in that time when I didnt have any hrt at all because I had a bout of sepsis, but I did know pretty much after 7 weeks or so whether it was going to settle.  I know I am on the right track with the oestrogel because I can adjust the pumps and I found out that I can probably only manage 7 days of progesterone.  I have been in a mega hole of depression since I started my 12 days of Utro, the plunge started after day 4 and I have worked out that I am only just starting to lift a tiny bit just before I have to start the Utro again.  Therefore I have learnt I need less progesterone and see if I can get the lift to balance. My problem is that I really should wait for my meno appointment in January to tell them what I am going to do!  I am suffering in the meantime.  I am only at the end of month 2 of my regime but I am really going to persevere on this one because although I am still bad in so many ways I am nowhere near as bad as I was before - and that was off the scale!!

[Perinowpost]

Racjen how much T did you take? I only use 3 x petit pois blobs per week and this is enough. If you've tried more it may be that it's too much for you (as was the case with me), any more and I tip into negative side effects. It's a massive shame because there used to be a T patch specifically aimed at women (intrinsia) I know because I was on it and it was far superior to any of the alternatives . I think you may be right about T being the missing link. It's all a balancing act, but if you can get it right it's worth it x

[Charys]

Nothing they tried helped one jot because I wasn't 'mentally ill' in anyway they had experience of. Hormonal anxiety/mood swings/depression are DIFFERENT.

THIS ! I so agree with! I've tried to get this across in my conversations with people, I've tried to create an analogy 'imagine yourself having been injected with something that makes you anxious or depressed. Imagine that you can't control that 'drug' going into or out of your system. Imagine that nothing you try or do- the mental fighting, distraction, exercise etc, under normal depression/anxiety circumstances works, or makes any difference'. It seems hard for people to understand, especially many 'experts'. I've mentioned this before, but after 6 weeks of absolute suicidal hell on tamoxifen, within days of stopping it I was returning to something far more bearable. Weeks later I was back to normal 'quite content/able to cope' me. Nobody needs convince me of hormones and depression/anxiety. I can be, what appears to be 'mentally ill' one day and totally ok the next. Even I struggle to understand the sudden changes, which seems so extreme.

Anyhow, that doesn't really help in this thread, as such......but finding people who understand the situation is surely key to the situation. I was going to ask, I am in Hampshire, are there are any good meno clinics about my way (can travel )?

[racjen]

Ladybt, the problem isn't absorption, blood tests have shown that my estrogen levels are in the high hundreds now with patches, so I don't think it's that. Maybe I do need to try again with T at an incredibly low dose and just see what happens.

Charys, there's a link (Specialists) at the top of the page that tells you where your nearest clinic is - if you're in Hampshire it may be, like me, your nearest is either Poole or Salisbury.

[Charys]

Thanks racjen