Hello everybody, I have been coming to this site for some time now and it has been an education. Above all, reading other women's experiences has been a great comfort to me through the tougher phases of my own hormonal purgatory. I am so grateful for that.
I'm 50 and about 5 years post meno. Around 5 or 6 years ago I was thriving in a challenging role and I started being bullied at work. I began getting anxiety and panic attacks and my GP signed me off work. During this time my periods stopped and my GP put it down to stress. I resigned from my post. My periods did not return.
I had a couple of jobs thereafter and really struggled with my symptoms. I had lots of symptoms but the worst for me were the anxiety, panic, dizziness and palpitations (and total loss of libido - I was in a fairly new relationship at this time). I seemed to be so sensitive to any pressure and found I couldn't cope with things that had previously been a breeze.
I got myself a part time, less demanding, role as I couldn't manage a full time job at this point. I think the only reason I was able to stick it out was because I worked on my own and I was therefore just about able to cope with my symptoms. My GP prescribed beta blockers to help with the panic and palpitations. He was supportive but still did not think I was menopausal.
Then my partner's job relocated and we moved house. I really struggled with the move and found it hard to cope. Additionally the new house needed some urgent works and that was a nightmare too as I was now working from home. My anxiety and moods got worse and worse. One time I went to A&E as I really thought I was seriously ill/about to snuff it. On this occasion I experienced what seemed to be a sudden blood sugar crash swiftly followed by a panic attack - it was hideous and terrifying.
I registered with a GP and went to discuss my issues. By this time it seemed likely I was post-menopausal although this had not yet been confirmed. My GP recommended anti-depressants and gave me some information on HRT. At the time I didn't want to take either, especially not ADs, but felt I had to be opened minded as my symptoms were having such a massive impact on my life and relationship and I felt dreadful. I started to do research, via the internet and books, and that's when I came across this here fabulous website: Menopause Matters.
Armed with lots of information, and feeling more optimistic, I asked my GP for a referral to a particular NHS menopause clinic. I explained my interest in taking bio-identical/body identical hormones. My GP went absolutely nuts at my request and flatly refused. He behaved in an insensitive and arrogant manner and it left me very upset and somewhat crushed. He even implied I may not be post-menopausal! I complained to the surgery about his behaviour and asked for an explanation as to why my referral had been refused. I received an apology and my referral was agreed subject to the results of a blood test. But, my goodness, thereafter my GP was unhelpful to the point of obstructive. I requested a change of GP within the surgery several times and eventually this was granted. But in the meantime…
I had an appointment at the NHS menopause clinic (at the end of June 2017) and I commenced HRT with 1mg Sandrena estradiol transdermal gel, 100mg Utrogestan orally and continuously and a small blob of Testim gel daily. Initially I felt improved and some of my symptoms disappeared. What joy! But after a few months the anxiety came creeping back. I was advised by the menopause clinic to increase Sandrena gel from 1mg to 2mg. I increased to 1.5mg at this time as my GP refused to prescribe above this amount (above 1.5mg is an unlicensed dosage for this particular product). My GP just seemed to be as unhelpful as possible e.g. I couldn't get an appointment, prescriptions didn't materialise, that sort of thing.
My anxiety worsened and I suspected progesterone intolerance (as well as GP rage). The menopause clinic advised I start using Utrogestan vaginally, instead of orally, as it was explained to me that this method of delivery can have fewer side effects in women who find they are intolerant of it.
It was around this time I was advised that I had been allocated a new GP. I would like to say that my new GP has been professional, supportive and diligent. What a difference this has made! At this point I was also just in the process of switching from Sandrena gel to Oestrogel (to avoid licensing issues with previous GP) but for some reason I felt really unwell on Oestrogel and after only a week on Oestrogel I switched back to Sandrena gel 1.5mg on the advice of my new GP.
Following this I started spotting and had a light bleed, the spotting and bleeding lasted around 2 weeks. I reported this to the menopause clinic who were not overly concerned (and thought it might be down to change of product) but said I should get a scan if breakthrough bleeding occurred again. I also reported it to my new GP who immediately arranged a scan. The scan showed endometrial thickness of 11mm and possible fibroids. I was put on the cancer pathway for a hysteroscopy and D&C. This all happened so fast and was a bit scary. I was quite shocked that this thickening could have occurred as a result of the hormones I had been taking for only around 5 or 6 months.
In the meantime my anxiety was horrendous so I then started taking 100mg Utrogestan cyclically, 14 days on and 14 days off (thus inducing a bleed), in the hope that my anxiety (and a few other possible progesterone-related symptoms) would improve by reducing the length of time I was taking progesterone. This was on the further advice of the NHS menopause clinic.
The hysteroscopy was initially attempted with no anaesthetic but I had to abandon this as it was too painful to continue. (This is not the case for many other women.) A couple of weeks later I underwent the procedure with general anaesthetic. A D&C and polypectomy were carried out and tissue samples sent to pathology. After a 3 week wait (!) I got the results of the biopsy on Friday (9 February) and I was told all is OK. I am just awaiting the letter from the gynaecology consultant with explanation of results and recommendations on how I should proceed with my HRT. What I gathered is that my uterus needs more protection.
In the meantime I had an appointment lined up, out of desperation, to visit a private consultant because I still felt awful and was still struggling with symptoms. The private consultant prescribed 3 pumps Oestrogel, 100mg Utrogestan 10 days per month and a tube of Testim, or sachet of Testogel, to last 4 days.
In view of my recent endometrial thickening I feel tentative about increasing the amount of oestrogen and reduce the amount of progesterone. The private consultant was aware of my recent issues and hysteroscopy procedure but seemed unconcerned about this in relation to this proposed new regime.
Since seeing the private consultant (last week) I have increased Sandrena gel from 1.5mg to 2mg with the other components remaining unchanged until further advice has been received (as I said I am awaiting letter from gynaecology consultant following the biopsy results on Friday).
So right now I am not even certain if it is a good idea to continue with HRT? Having said that I do not relish the thought of going back to the way I felt pre HRT!
It seems that I don't yet have the right balance of hormones and dosage, I say this based on the way I feel and ongoing symptoms. However I am aware I might be one of the women who need to take an AD too. My visit to a private consultant was really a last attempt to see if I can feel better on hormones or if I do in fact need to take ADs for anxiety. Having said that, my anxiety has reduced a bit since taking Utrogestan cyclically. I also realise it may take a while to feel the benefits of increased oestrogen. I wish it would hurry up as I feel completely pants!
What are people's thoughts on this? Any information would be gratefully received. Thanks for taking the time to read my story, I hope it's clear and well done if you got to the end and didn't nod off! (I so tried to keep it as brief as possible).
Sympatico x