Bluebirdie, I'm sorry to hear about this but it sounds to me like a classic case of silent migraine. My story is very similar to yours and I had my first migraine pre-menopause BUT importantly, I had a Mirena coil at the time which contains synthetic progesterone which explains a lot.
There are many migraine triggers and you will not necessarily be the same as me but in my case, silent migraines are caused by low oestrogen in conjunction with all forms of synthetic progesterone and even Utrogestan (micronised progesterone) in high doses so I have to keep it to an absolute minimum. To cut a very long story short, following various consultations with specialists, it would seem that I was able to tolerate synthetic progesterone pre-menopause but once my oestrogen levels fell too low, I could not 'fight off' the effects of synthetic progesterone hence the migraines - unfortunately progesterone does change the way your brain receptors work. So I now have to keep my oestrogen levels high (late 700s minimum) keep away from synthetic progesterone altogether and only take the barest minimum Utrogestan - Professor Studd recommended a hysterectomy which I am considering. I have regular scans and very luckily, I get good thinning and clearance from a very low dose. Interestingly, I didn't ever have any problems with my own progesterone (no PMS) although I never really got on with the synthetics in the coil or the pill.
As long as you don't have any other health issues, you don't need to ditch HRT because of silent migraines, you just need to reduce your progesterone intake and have regular uterine scans. Assuming all is well with the MRI scan which I am sure it will be, you might want to consider Oestrogel for the oestogen (you rub it on your skin) and 7 days of vaginal Utrogestan every month along with annual uterine scans to make sure everything is OK. This is the only HRT regime that has worked for me so far and I can honestly say that during the oestrogen only period I feel completely back to normal with no menopause symptoms whatsoever so I obviously need the high dose of oestrogen.
I hope that gives you something to think about! The one episode you had prior to starting HRT could be because of low oestrogen, were you using a contraceptive containing progesterone at the time?