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Author Topic: Desperate for help  (Read 2084 times)

Angela64

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Desperate for help
« on: December 08, 2017, 09:47:22 PM »

Hi there, I am new to the forum and I am desperate for some advice before I completely lose my mind.  8 months ago when on a doctors appointment for another matter my doctor said as I had been on Elleste Duo for 10 years she recommended stopping altogether.  I agreed, however all the symptoms came back after just 2 days, along with aching joints, sleeplessness, and mood swings. I asked my doctor if I could go back onto HRT, the same or a lower dose and my doctor flatly refused.  When I mentioned how it was affecting me she shrugged and said under no circumstances can I go back on HRT.  I accepted this decision, but couldn't understand why as I consider myself a low risk, I don't smoke, rarely drink, have no family history of heart disease or cancer.  A few months down the line my symptoms became worse and worse and the latest is that I have thick black hairs growing on my face - not the fine hairs you would expect, but more like a mans beard.  You can imagine, this has knocked my confidence no end.  I happened to break down whilst at my Diabetic appointment and the doctor there suggested I see a psychologist.  This helped a little but the psychologist agreed I should go back onto HRT do to the severity of my symptoms and wrote to my doctor.  In the meantime I lost my job due to my 'complete personality change' and inability to carry out my tasks, again, due to my severe symptoms.  Again I went back to my doctor and begged her to help me, asking that if I could not go back on Elleste at least to have some alternative or even to attend a menopausal clinic for help.   Her answer to me was 'sorry, I cannot help you and there is no clinic in this area'  When asked why I had masses of dark hairs on my face her answer was 'buy some hair removal cream'  I cannot believe that I cannot get any help,  I haven't slept for nearly a year now, I am crying constantly, ache like hell and I am aggressive in the extreme.  Where can I go from here?  I am desperate for some advice

By the way I have tried every herbal remedy going and nothing helps

Angela
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Dancinggirl

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2017, 10:02:27 PM »

Hi and welcome
You have had dreadful treatment - your GP is totally out of order.
Can you change to a different surgery?
The NICE guidelines give very clear advice for GPs to follow and women are allowed to continue with HRT, if fully informed about potential risks. The small risks only kick in after the age of 60 if still on HRT so your GP is out of date.
I think you have grounds to put in a complaint as you GP hasn't given you good reasons for her decision and is being negligent in not addressing your meno symptoms.
Read up everything on this site and get clued up.
Write down all your symptoms, the consequences that have occurred due to your meno symptoms and demand a referral to a gynaecologist for specialist advice.
The mental and physical
impact on your health and well-being due to your GPs lack of understanding and support is appalling. If you can take someone with you to the appointment as a witness that would be good.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
DG xxx
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Angela64

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2017, 12:17:13 AM »

Thanks for your advice DG.  I have already demanded help from a specialised clinic and I was told there isn't one in this borough.

I have no idea how to complain or who to complain to.  Can anyone on the forum help me with this?

By the way DG, this is the 3rd doctor in my practice I have approached

Angela
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Annie0710

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2017, 01:21:56 AM »

This is appalling treatment.  I've been on hrt for 18 years now, could even be 19.  One surgery tried to take me off it when I was 37 saying 5 years is max.  I flatly refused saying it's a lifesaver for me

I get so frustrated when I read these stories.  I'd write a letter of complaint to your practice manager x
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peri

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2017, 06:38:13 AM »

You've suffered really shockingly bad treatment Angela64.  As the others have said complain to your practice manager as symptoms are clearly impacting on your life and something should be done.  Other tactics you could try are printing off the NICE guidelines to support you/ changing surgeries/ and/or going private.  I realize all of these strategies may not be practical but don't give up, you deserve to feel well again x
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Dancinggirl

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2017, 10:20:06 AM »

Angela64

Just to clarify things; how old are you? Have any of the GPs given specific reasons why they don't want to continue prescribing HRT? Have you specifically asked to see a gynaecologist for further advice?  There may not be a menopause clinic but there will be a gynaecologist in your area who can advice.
You should be able to complain to the local health authority( look online or phone your local council to find who to contact) as it's not just you who is going to suffer from their lack of support but also many other women in your area.

Sadly, many of us have had to go privately to get the help we need.  I have had awful problems with my back and in the end had to go privately.  The NHS is in a mess with so many of us experiencing age related problems - of which menopause is just one of many - but as they want us to work till our late 60s, the NHS has really got to step up to the plate.

Do you have a husband or friend who can go with you to an appointment?  I'm afraid is sounds as though you are going to have to be more than assertive.  Tell them you have lost your job due to the menopause symptoms, your health and general wellbeing has suffered greatly, while you were on HRT you were doing well but now, without HRT, they have essentially taken away you quality of life and even your ability to continue working. Before you go to this appointment, do send a letter to the local Health authority, explaining very clearly all you have experienced from your GPs and then when you go to see the GP, tell them you have put in a formal complaint. To deny you appropriate treatment, that costs so little and brings very few risks, they are simply taking a very arrogant and unreasonable stance.  How on earth can you ever trust them again if this is their approach to treating their patients?

Sorry - rant over - here on MM we get so angry with these 'out of touch' lazy GPs.  Where ever you live - find a way to name and shame them. DG x
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Angela64

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2017, 11:34:44 AM »

Hi DG

I was 63 years when the doctor stopped my HRT and the reason given was that it was 'a risk' to stay on it for longer.  I have begged my GP 4 times to either go back on it or to suggest an alternative.  Every time I was refused and was told to 'get on with it'

I am going to make an appointment 1 more time and if I get the same response I will inform her I am going to make a formal complaint.  I suspect I will get no reaction from that.

I will let you know how I get on.

Angela
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Angela64

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2017, 11:38:11 AM »

Further to my earlier post.  I live alone, my family live abroad or are too far away.  I don't have anyone to visit the doctor with me.

Angela
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Joaniepat

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2017, 12:46:18 PM »

Hi Angela64,

Of course you are not too old for HRT. Mine was stopped in about 2004 when I was in my early 50s due to the flawed millennial studies, even though I was only taking oestrogen. I was prescribed Tibolone earlier this year at age 67. I asked my GP if I could have some systemic oestrogen because I was concerned about developing osteoporosis which my mother had suffered from, and also because I thought it might help with VA. The Tibolone was subsequently changed to Oestrogel by a gynaecologist at a hospital menopause clinic. I am 68 now and there are plenty of women taking HRT into their 70s and 80s. The idea of stopping in your 60s seems to have no foundation in research, although I am willing to be corrected on this.

I don't understand why you have been told that you cannot see a specialist because there isn't one in your borough. The hospital clinic I attend is at the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital and I don't live London. You can see whoever you like wherever you like. In your case it sounds as though you will have to find your own consultant and then ask a GP for a referral letter. If they won't refer you, can you see someone privately? You shouldn't have to do this, but sometimes it is just easier than battling with the system.

You have been treated very badly and I hope you can soon find a way through all this. Do keep us updated.

JP x
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Angela64

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Re: Desperate for help
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2017, 07:21:25 PM »

thank you DG.

I didn't realise I could attend any menopause clinic if it was not in my area (NHS).

I am going to scout around for a clinic and try to get an appointment with them.  The way my doctor treats me I wonder if they will even give me a referral letter.   There is no question of going private, I just cant afford it.

Angela
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