Hi Tanuki67
Sorry to hear you are struggling.
The most important thing to do - whatever else you decide re HRT, rather than spend £££ on the miracle cure supplements - is to do what you suggest yourself - re diet and vitamins (through diet). So have a good look at your diet and see if you can make any changes - the best thing is cooking food from fresh, avoiding processed foods, cutting down added sugar ( or eliminating it completely) as well as refined carbs, pastries, cakes, bsicuits and cutting down on things like pasta, rice spuds, and replacing all of this with lots of fruit and veg, lean protein, fish, nuts, beans and pulses, as well as complex carbs if you need them eg muesli, wholemeal bread etc - you might be doing this already. Cut down on caffeine, alcohol and smoking ( if you do this), try to maintain a healthy BMI and if possible take more exercise - both aerobic and body strengthening exercises. There was a thread Taz put up about a new Public Health initiative - Active 10 (in the General Health section)- 10 mins walking per day as a minimum. Good night's sleep ( if you can) reduce stress, do something relaxing every day etc. Apologies if you know all of this and do it already!
Re periods and HRT and anti-depressants: your doctor should not be prescribing anti-depressants as the first line of treatment for menopausal symptoms any more - the NICE Guidelines recommended that women should be prescribed HRT in the first instance if their cycle, age and symptoms suggest menopause and there is no medical reason not to do so.
I understand your fear of taking hormones especially artificial ones. The good news is that most oestrogen nowadays is "natural" in the sense that it is estradiol - which is the same as out body makes - and you can take this as a patch or gel which gets it into the bloodstream in the most natural way ( unlike pills which have to go through the liver). The progesterone is available as micronised progesterone - Utrogestan - and again this can be taken vaginally to minimise side effects ( off licence in UK).
You should not need to go and see John Studd as both these hormones are available on NHS so do your research (read up on the different types) and ask your doctor for them. The tricky thing is that you want to keep progesterone to a minimum if you are intolerant so your doc (sounds like it needs to be a different one at the same practice - find out which one has the relevant qualification and is sympathetic towards menopausal women as well as knowledgeable about HRT) will need to approve perhaps a shorter cycle eg 10 days rather than 12 in the first instance.
Now that your cycle is lengthening it may well be easier to find a regime that works for you - it is the time when periods are getting more frequent that is difficult to treat ie the last stage before peri-menopause proper, starts. I have only ever used patches and I would recommend Estradot although there have been supply problems with this. Oestrogene patches should deal with your night sweats and flushes. Many women use gel but some find it gives too much oestrogen in high bursts at this stage although I've never used it myself.
I hope this information is helpful and gives you something to think about - do come back if you have any more questions. Hope you feel better soon
Hurdity x