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[Sooby]

Thanks Peri,

        It does seem that for mature weddings then the man is often the driving force. Lots of you seem as though you wouldn't want to marry again even though you are happily married? So perhaps divorced women can take it or leave it? Or perhaps they do like the idea of a happy marriage but feel they made a mistake the first time and dont want to do the same again?

        Does it make a difference to your relationship if you already co-habit? Do you feel different as a wife than as a partner. I think I would feel different but I'm not sure why? 

[Woodlands]

Hi there.
An interesting debate.
I married the man of my dreams in 89, sadly he cheated after the birth of our son two years later....ended in divorce. I remarried in 96 having been alone in a good life, we had two more children, he after 16 years cheated on me, he wasn't a good husband or parent, so divorced in 14... Would I marry again, I am afraid not.....I have found myself so to speak, spent almost four years alone. As much as a man in my life would be nice....I would find it hard to trust enough to marry a third time.
Woodlands x

[Annie0710]

We keep wondering if we will feel different after we're married.  We already feel married but we think we'll feel an even deeper connection once it's official.  We've been through so much in the 8 years we've been together and each thing we've joined as a team and helped each other, I think they were the defining moments that this man is a keeper and looks out for me and vice versa.  Sounds really corny and although we're not romantic as such we often tell each other that meeting up again was the best thing ever and we really are great friends too

And he still makes my tummy flutter when I look at him x

[Sooby]

Oh woodlands,

                   I'm not surprised that you are happy as you are. I have had lots of very happy single years. Full of calm contentment. It sounds like you are in a good place right now and as the saying goes if it aint broke....,

                  Annie it's not corny at all, I'm a romantic little kipper myself which is why I find the whole marriage verses long term commitment so intriguing. I think it is different but only if both of you see it as something different, special, sacred even. If one or both of you dont buy into that then I guess it is just a piece of paper.

                 Lifes a funny thing but love is even stranger!

[Taz2]

Dame Judi Dench has definite views on this http://www.womanandhome.com/news-and-entertainment/542751/dame-judi-dench-never-marry-david-mills

Taz x

[Ju Ju]

I have no idea whether I would eventually remarry if DH died. Simply any other man would have a lot to live up to! He still makes my tummy flutter 40 years on.

So Annie, congratulations and here's to many more years of tummy flutters!

[Sooby]

Oh lordy Taz, I should say being an octogenarian really would be too old for me! I have theory that when my face is more creased than the wedding gown it's definitely time for me to decline a marriage proposal! No matter how much tummy fluttering is still going on!

I wonder if she would feel different if he had proposed though? I'm not sure what I make of her comment "He's not going to propose, lets all just pull ourselves together and act our age" ?? Hummmn, a twinge of disappointment in there perhaps?

I guess we never know how we will respond until we are asked by someone that we really love. No matter how strong our feelings against marriage, if we can see that it means a great deal to someone who means a great deal to us then I get the impression that most of us would be swept along by the idea. 

[Annie0710]

I can see Judi's point of view.  Personally I feel I'm on the brink of looking ridiculous as a bride, but really hope I'm going to look nice, my daughter cried when I showed her me in my dress. 

Fiancé accompanied me to a hospital appt a couple of years ago and the receptionist asked my marital status, I said I live with my partner (hate that word too but too old for boyfriend lol) she said "you mean you're single?" I said no I'm in a relationship and she wrote single down! That was another time he said well if we got married there'd be none of that confusion !

[Sooby]

OOOOW Annie dont get me started on the whole "status" category thing!

I think its wholly inappropriate to even ask that question. Even the gyny staff only ask if you think you might be pregnant not whether you have a ring on your finger or not.

Ur fab fiance is right of course, though I really dont see why marital status is anyone elses business.

I'm sure that you will look beautiful on your big day and I'm sure that Dame Jude would too. I just never did the bride thing when I was young and beautiful so I have different slant on it I suppose.

Besides, men's bits are wrinkly enough when they are in their prime.........heaven knows what they must look like in their 80's! That image on my wedding night would send my tummy flipping in a whole other direction. lol

[Annie0710]

Lol I've never seen an old mans todger, either in photos or real life.  Think I'll leave that to when OH gets that age !!!

[Sooby]

 

[Sooby]

I should think you would be wise to wait and see Annie. You cant afford to scupper your chances of a life of wedded bliss with the man of of your dreams if he catches you checking out old mens tackle. Even if it is purely in the interests or research!


I seem to have inadvertently de-railed my own thread here. No wonder I'm always the bridesmaid and never the bride. I'm too easily distracted. LOL

[Annie0710]

Smutty ! 

[Taz2]

Depends on the age Annie - what is old to a twenty year old is young to us "older" ladies... rest assured I've seen a few and not much changes. A bit of shrinkage here and there and a bit more coaxing needed.. think tortoise coming out of his shell...

Taz x 

[Annie0710]

 

So much to look forward to!
I'm not going to be able to keep astraight face next time I'm presented with the tortoise lol