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[Sooby]

Over the past 5 years a combination of job change, relocation, lifestyle commitments and emotional upheaval has seen a number of my friendships fall by the wayside.

It is in no small part down to me as I can see that my view of some people has changed and perhaps also my view of myself and what I am looking for in others. I used to have friends who were different from me but now I find that I lack the motivation to make time for those who I have little in common with. But finding others who share our passions, interests and values can be difficult, or so I have found. 

I'm always intrigued by those of you who manage to make friends with each other through this forum and wonder if coming together to share your experiences of your journey, does lead to real lasting friendships?

Do you find that you have lots in common outside of the forum or is your friendship built on something else?

Although I dont miss my old friends, I do miss the opportunity to make new ones. 

 

[Annie0710]

From the friends I've made on here obviously menopause is our biggest connection but second to that for me personally I'd say it's sense of humour

[Butterfly22]

I think if someone is having the same problem it gets you talking, I'm on a lot of nail groups and have made some really good friends even met up with a couple. I have more virtual friends then real ones 😳xxx

[MIS71MUM]

I made a friend on the forum.
She's been totally amazing and helped me no end with my anxiety and depression which I didn't have until peri menopause.
When you get those awful feelings, it helps to have someone who knows how you feel to talk to.
My friends and sister are totally oblivious to what lies in store. My Mum went through it at 28, over 40 years ago, so this forum has made me feel human. Which is so important, when you feel like you are going mad.

[Butterfly22]

Yes I started at 25 my sister keeps saying she is dreading it because of what she sees me going through and my mum asides through it.
Even now at 43 I have no one to talk about it with only on here. Xx

[Ju Ju]

On here, I feel I can be honest about how I feel and get support. When asked how I am by friends and family, I tend to say I'm fine, even if I'm not. I've made some good friends here. I do have lovely friends, but friendships tend to be based on shared interests.

[CLKD]

I can be completely open on here.  Saying things I wouldn't consider to face-2-face friends ......... I have several e-mail friends made on various Forums across the World which have endured. None met face-2-face - yet 

I don't take crap anymore.  The person who stated that I live in an art gallery was off my C.mas card list ........ others who haven't supported me/Himself during my intense depression and anxiety are also gone.  I don't have deep friendships any more, but do have people who help in various ways if I need them too.

[CLKD]

When we were teens and going into puberty together it seemed different somehow, menopause happens so variably at different ages that it can be isolating, especially if we have moved from the 'family' village.  I had pen friends for years but they gradually stopped writing .... I got fed up with being the one who kick-started replies 

[CLKD]

We did 'all that' in the 1970s/80s ;-).  The dinner parties.  The BarBQs.  Picnics on the beach.  Now we can't be bothered quite frankly and note that those who do the Safari Suppers etc. are at least 10 years younger.  We might make a cuppa for neighbours if we are all out gardening/talking at the same time on a sunny day but I can't be bothered to dress up quite frankly 

[getting_old]

I've never had many friends, and definitely not really close friends, but that's fine with me as I'm a private person and don't really like to share too much. It doesn't worry me as I've always been happy on my own. I'm also wary because I've seen people get really close, maybe too close, then have a massive falling out and it just seems like too much drama.
We always used to make an effort to get to know our neighbours so we could say hello, pass the time, etc. but in the last 10 years we've only had nasty neighbours so I go out of my way to avoid them. If I was ever lucky enough to move I would like to think we have people around that I want to know.

Interesting what you say about penpals CLKD as I had an email friend for around 9 months and we got on great, then we met up and we just didn't get on, and never communicated again.

[Yorkshire Girl]

Agree with what others have said, I can be completely honest & open about how I feel and what I've been through along with getting advice and support. If I'd done that face to face with my friends I would've been judged no doubt been told to stop being a drama queen!
Getting old totally relate about people getting close happened to me and I've seen/heard it happen since I moved away. Most of time I'm happy with my own company.

[CLKD]

OK Sooby - >gets thinking cap on< ........ coq au van followed by: ? or spagg Bol which can be messy ;-) - Sloe gin?

Long black skirt with ruffled bottom with a red blouse which has bell sleeves and a ruffled neck line ...... no shoes?

[Ju Ju]

I like the sound of a virtual dinner party. I can come without any clothes on and you wouldn't even know!

If you want to have a real dinner with friends and dislike or get stressed about cooking like me, you can do what we do. We have potato evenings. Baked potatoes with a variety of accompaniments, cheese, prawns, salad, tin of chilli etc. Easy peasy and fun. Food intolerances and likes easy to cater for. Dress code very casual. Other friends have copied this idea. It all started when a friend wanted to cater for my food intolerances and developed from there.

[Butterfly22]

Yes I feel the same a few have left who were really helpful, I hope they come back as one lady has followed my story from five years ago and always helped xxx

[CLKD]

Sooby - what do you want to get out of that particular type of connection?

Paper parasols ....... these were the days but Babycham had a habit of making me really windy and nauseas about 6 hours later   

Fondue anyone: cheese with dips or chocolate ?