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[Dandelion]

It started with a uti in september that never seemed to go away, yet no infection, so I asasumed I had a fibroid.
At the same time, periods got weird.
I assumed a fibroid due to bladder pressure, concentrated urine despite drinking enough, never feeling properly emptied.
I tell doc, but fear he will change hrt and as i am dependent on diazepam and progesterone acts on same receptor, I wanted to stay on daily progesterone, to keep the receptor, that both diaz and prog share, as stable as possible, while I reduce the diazepam as slowly and as smoothly as possible.
I went for the ultrasound, forgot to ask about womb lining size, but it must have been within range, otherwise it would have been flagged up and every few months, i do get a bleeed, which is fine as, discussed today with ultrasound lady, who gave me a real good looking over, inside and out, we agreed i was still peri despite teh conti hrt.
I explained about the intolerability of the mental negative states on sequi hrt due to ups and downs in progesterone.

I put the ultrasound off, I wasnt going to address the issue until after I was off the valium, but a friend convinced me that i could have some growth inside me that needs to come out, and waiting isnt an option as these growths can grow, his mum had a growth that kept getting bigger and eventual hysterectomy.

I feared hysterectomy, due to sudden swiping of progesterone and plunge in mood, another reason to be thankful.

All these things show i was spending time worrying about things that were non existant. I have self diagnosed nervous bladder and it seems people withdrawing benzos can get bladder issues.

I was petrified of fibroid and doctor changing hrt regime and messing around with the progesterone, because although i am still peri, I am happy getting a period every few months shining though as I only take 100mg a day, and it shows womb lining shedding.
Gotta admit, I don't keep dates of when I come on, I'm more instinctual than that, daily prog does make you feel like you are going to come on but you mostly don't.

I thought of IUD and evorel instead of utro, to see if that would stabilize me more, but I have also re increased my self reduced evorel from 75mcg to 100mcg today, knowing womb free of fibroids. Reducing evoerel has always raised my anxiety so im glad to look forward to less anxiety having moved upto 100mcg again, although it will take a few weeks to kick in. Also started taking buspirone, that makes me a bit monged but ive only had one and it takes a few weeks to get going
I hate hospitals, It just goes to show, how hormonal anxiety can convince us of the worse. The staff were angels though, really nice.
I kinda self diagnosed, I am very anxious at the moment and I think my bladder is taking a lot of the rap by tensing its muscles somehow, and knowing that has seemed to help my bladder feel more relaxed.
I am so thankful I dont have to mess around with my hrt while weaning valium, it lifts a weight off my mind and gives me more energy to solve other problems in my life.

If reading this helps at least one despairing woman out there, then its done its job.

[Dandelion]

Loads of views, hope that's a good thing, what I was trying to say, in a rambly way, is that, peri and meno induced anxiety needs fighting, because it can become consuming, and my success scan story is an example of my anxiety ruining my quality of life, and if I'd not have kept postponing, time would have been saved for better things.

[Hurdity]

Thanks you for posting your story again Dandelion. Yes anxiety can be quite destructive and it would be good not to worry about things and especially to anticipate the worst outcome. After all if the outcome is not bad (as you have found) then all that time spent worrying has done a lot of harm and wasted time which could have been spent relaxing or being positive, as you say. If the outcome (eg of a health investigation) is negative and not what you expected - well at least that is the time to start taking it in, and dealing with it. Is that what you are getting at?

Anyway at least you have found a way that works for you

Hurdity x

[Mbrown001]

I'm really  pleased to read of a positive outcome for you, that's great news.

The trouble with generalised anxiety is that it's not really a rational reaction to situations be they health or social.

When I feel fine I can almost be amused at my sometimes extreme reactions to the simplest things. When I'm gripped by anxiety all rational thoughts just fly out the window.
Relaxing or being positive in that situation is near impossible....well for me anyway and from what I can read on the forum for many other women too.

It's lovely to hear how well you are doing in your journey towards better health.

Mrs Brown

[dahliagirl]

Ah yes - Procrastination is the Thief of Time 

One puts something off, and off, and off - then when it is finally done, it only takes a short while and all the many weeks of stress are lifted.  And then you wonder why you just didn't do it in the first place.  Because then, you would have done it and have loads of weeks without the stress 

Then, when it comes along again, you do it all again, in the full knowledge that it will happen again.   Which is why I need to get off here and get on with the bloomin parish mag.........

Well done Dandelion - enjoy the feeling of the moment 

I think it is the 'what ifs' that are the problem.  Someone always comes along and tells you what happened to someone else as a way to urge you on, but it just makes everything worse and stops you in your tracks.  It makes the hill you need to climb look so much bigger.  We need something that flattens them down.

[CLKD]