Hello All
I am feeling better, THANK YOU GOD. Yesterday afternoon, I felt so dreadful I nearly walked out of work and just drove to A&E. Then suddenly mid afternoon, I felt a wave of calmness just sweep over me. Felt immediately better, and like me, though felt very drained and fragile and had a nagging headache all evening. Slept much better, and didn't have any anxiety when I woke this morning, just felt nicely sleepy and blessedly normal. Still feeling much better.
Even typing this, I know how extreme and bizarre it must sound, and unless I had experienced it myself I'm not sure I would believe 'me'. But, honestly this is how suddenly it affects me.
I can't thank you all enough for your lovely, kind and supportive posts. This place is such a haven when you feel desperate.
Hurdity - thank you for your post, you always put things into perspective for me. I think you're absolutely right in that it's almost impossible to know what is causing what, when I'm on HRT + still having (possibly) my own cycle kick in/out every month. What really puzzles me is that any bleed I have, whether withdrawl or /natural/ is so very light these days, and mainly just brown spotting. Though someone did mention that if my cycle is being supressed by 4 pumps, that could be why my endometrium doesn't build up much?
So, in light of just 'not knowing' (which is what sends me into a tail spin) I have decided that the next time I experience one of these awful dips I am going to have a private oestrodial blood test done. It's only £29, and you get the result within 24 hours, and as these blips always last several days it should tell me whether my oestrogen is high or low at this time- which should explain why I feel so wretched.
I know that even on 4 pumps, last Summer my oestrogen level was only 605 p/mol, which Prof Studd didn't think was high at all. And I'm sure I have read somewhere that he likes his patients to be on at least 800 p/mol in order to cure the hormonal anxiety/depression.
donnacrichton - I think we could be peri twins, couldn't we? Yesterday, I literally wanted to be checked into a psych ward. It's very interesting that what you 'thought' was too high oestrogen causing the misery, was actually too low? God, no wonder you felt so terrible. No one else can understand, unless they have been through it. It is mental torture, isn't it? So, does this mean that you haven't been absorbing hardly any oestrogen at all (I think you use a patch?). What has your consultant suggested? I am going to have a few private blood tests, to see if they will show whether it's too high/too low oestrogen that causes these regular dips.
dangermouse - you talk a lot of sense as ever. Like I have said above, I really need to KNOW what is causing these awful surges + anxiety + diarrhoea + nausea + insomnia etc, etc. So, hopefully a few blood tests should really isolate what my oestrogen is actually bloody DOING. You're right, in that unfortunately I took the Oestrodose during the 2nd part of my cycle, with devastating results. I do think that whatever has happened these last 10 days is exactly what happened in December, and is exactly what happened March 2016, when I ended up signed off work and thought I was having a breakdown (I was only on a 50mg patch back then, and don't think it was nearly enough).
Liz - we are SO SIMILAR. Everytime I have this blip, every bloody time, I convince myself that actually it's bi-polar, or a BPD, or I'm just plain losing my marbles. And it terrifies me. But I do KNOW it is hormones, when I'm being rational, because all this only started when I noticed my cycle had become several days shorter, and my periods much lighter. Plus I had suffered with PND in the past, which is a classic marker for suffering with anxiety/depression in peri. Could it be something as simple as the progesterone part of your HRT caused the misery?
Marchone - thank you for asking. I am much, much better compared to yesterday