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[greenECLECtus28]

Hi

I have just recently turned 54 in Feb there over the last couple of years I've been finding things harder and harder to deal with I am a nervous person anyway regarding health issues and I always seem to have something to worry about. I have a condition called Spina Bifida and even though I can't exactly run marathons I have been not to bad mobile wise but over the last couple of years things have just got harder and harder and now it feels like I'm climbing a mountain daily in effort to move about. I have been having more and more issues there never seems a day goes by where I don't have some pain or the other whether it's my back, leg hip arms  etc I just have so many aches and pains I feel about 84 not 54 and it's getting to the point that it's affecting my daily life I worry constantly that something awful is going to happen to me and my dad who's in his 80's and lives with me (I lost my mum about 14 years ago due to complications with COPD and Osteoporosis) and my teenage son will be left on their own and what would happen to the house etc, over this week alone I had a tummy bug and was off work for a couple of days then on Monday there had a weird feeling in my ear in the afternoon like tinnitus and woke up the next morning and couldn't hear properly in my left ear was as if it was full of cotton wool and people's voices sounded robotic, and of course was terrified I was going to have a stroke so up to the docs who said the inside of my ear was a bit red so she gave me a spray which was an antibiotic/steroid and that seems to have helped and hearing is coming back to normal and then just yesterday my leg ankle/knee had been feeling a bit sore and last night was just getting worse and woke up this morning and can hardly put any weight on it when walking so up to the docs again convinced I had a DVT she reckons because of the way I walk with a very pronounced swing and the way my knee turns in I've probably pulled some ligaments. It's just that every time I get something now I always jump to worse case scenario and the thing is it's affecting my dad and son I don't really have anyone to talk to and anyway I don't think people like to be around someone that always moaning about the way they feel.

When I saw the doc about my ear I went in to her room and just dissolved in to tears and explained that I just feel so worn down with all this, on my birthday I was so depressed even writing this I can feel everything coming on. She seems to think there could be issues linked to the menopause here and was very sympathetic and wants to take things one step at a time I've just been for every blood test known to man and she was asking when my last period was which was last December this December was a year without a period I suffer from palpitations but have had those for years and had them checked out but they still freak me out I don't sleep well but some of that is my fault as I tend to have a couple of glasses of wine when I come in from work (I work in a call centre so am sitting a lot of the time) the end up eating late and fall asleep on the chair in front of the telly wake up at 1 in the morning then go to bed then I'm getting up at 6.30 for work I wake up a lot of time during the night I have a lot of bad dreams and when I wake up my heart is racing I also get night sweats and when I wake up from those my heart is racing as well in fact I can't remember the last time I woke up in the morning and it didn't feel like it was racing I also get this sometimes during the day as well sometimes with hot flushes so as you can see I'm a bit of a wreck. I don't seem to be able to motivate myself to do things for example I was an illustrator before I was made redundant a few years ago before I got my present job and I would love to get back in to this in my spare time but don't seem to be able to motivate myself to do it I just sit around worrying about the future. The doc has suggested that I might think about HRT but obviously I am concerned about possible side effects but I am getting to the point where I would try anything to get back to 'normal' even though I have had to cope with my disability and bring up my son I have always been someone who didn't like to ask for help and just got on with it.

Sorry this post is so long 😟 I would appreciate any comments from folks who have or are going through the same or similar  issues and ways they have found of turning things around

Thanks

[Elizabethrose]

Hello greenECLECtus28

I just wanted to say hi and to welcome you to the forum.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low: this can be such a difficult time in our lives without the added health issues you have. So many of us are juggling horrible menopausal symptoms, demanding jobs, children who aren't yet independent and ageing sometimes infirm parents. It really is a juggling act and can sometimes feel quite overwhelming.

If you've spent any time reading the posts here you'll realise that everything you've described is being experienced by others, many others, and in some ways that is reassuring, because it makes us all feel 'normal' and I use apostrophes here because there is no normal we are all unique and experience peri/meno differently. The symptoms are many.

It may be that HRT will help you feel better and if your doc suggested it why not investigate on here what might suit you and discuss with your doc at greater length. Equally you may decide that's not the route you want to go down. Either way don't feel afraid to ask for help, I always say to people who say that (and I have been guilty of this over the years) if someone else was telling you this story what would you advise them to do? And another thing to remember is that if you cut yourself, you pop on a plaster, you treat yourself: many of the meno symptoms that are causing you so much distress can be treated.

There is always someone around on this site and you just moan away as you need to, never be afraid to do so: sharing is the best mental therapy in the world!!

You mentioned feeling demotivated, I'd suggest that may just be the result of you felling low and overwhelmed. At times like this, though difficult, we sometimes need to be proactive and find a way forwards. I plan and write lists which always gives me the kick up the backside I need and also helps me see clearly. Exercise also does so much too, helps us physically and mentally. I've been restricted for years but try to walk as much as possible. On a lovely spring day a walk in the park is so uplifting and puts the world to rights! I think you realise it from what you've said, but sleep is really important too, we can all of us deal so much better with all of this peri meno rubbish if we've had a good nights sleep. Why not set up a nightly routine that will allow you to be better rested.

I've gabbled on: I'm not the person to give you HRT suggestions I'm sure someone will be along soon who may be able to offer some advice. If you haven't already, read through the many topics on the forum and familiarise yourself with what other members are experiencing. If you have questions, ask away!!

I really wish you well x

[ancient runner]

You poor thing - there is so much on your plate.
I'd agree with Elizabethrose - what would you advise someone else to do?
It strikes me that if your doc thinks HRT is a good idea, then it's certainly worth considering as it could well help with lots of the problems you're describing and if you only take it to get you through the next few years then that could be really helpful. What you've described do sound very much like meno symptoms and they can be tough enough at the best of times. You, however, are dealing with an awful lot!
Best of luck. There's lots of information in the drop-down menus above, and loads of experts on here who are chatty and friendly.

[Elizabethrose]

Hi again greenECLECtus28

Just popped back to say finding something that will relax and allow you to mentally disappear into your own place is also really beneficial. I read voraciously and love to cook and bake, my hubby and daughter love to paint and sketch. Pick up your sketch pad and Caran d'Ache and settle yourself down in a nice spot. Without having the restrictions of having to follow a client brief or meet a demanding time scale it might allow you to relax and be calmed. Works a treat with hubby and daughter!!

All good wishes x

[Hurdity]

Hi greenECLECtus28

 

I agree that if your doc thinks HRT is a good idea then why not give it a go? It is the recommended treatment for menopausal symptoms and absolutely nothing else can relieve them in quite the same way!

However lifestyle issues are also crucial in the journey to become positive and in good health at this stage in your life. So - taking a look at your diet and eating a varied diet with lots of fresh fruit and veg and non-processed foods if you can - as well as reducing sugar and carbs, and make sure you are not deficient in minerals or vitamins; giving up smoking if you do so; reducing alcohol - as you yourself have recognised, this alone will be contributing to your issues - tiredness, increased flushes and palpitations - try to limit alcohol to weekends if you can with maybe the occasional small drink before you eat and look to other ways to relax or treat yourself, so that you can get to bed at the proper time; exercise - within the limits of your disability, try to find ways of increasing the amount that you take - this will help with the feel good factor and if you are physically tired you will sleep better; getting out into the fresh air at weekends.

Re the HRT - in your position even though you are now classed as post-menopausal - I would start with a cyclical HRT where you take oestrogen only for part of the month and then add a progestogen for the second half, giving a withdrawal bleed. That way you can tell which bit of the HRT suits you, before maybe going to a no-bleed type (oestrogen and progestogen every day). They are all listed at the top tabs - these are the ones that give a bleed: https://menopausematters.co.uk/perimeno.php

If you do start HRT and gradually change those lifestyle factors ( little bit at a time!) - then you should gradually feel more motivated to do some drawing and perhaps eventually become self-employed - maybe initially you could cut your hours a little while you developed this - eg an afternoon a week, if your employer permits this?

The first thing I would do above all is to cut back on the daily alcohol - you will be surprised at how much better you feel.

Hope this helps and good luck with it all - if we can help any more and eg about which type of HRT - then please let us know! Btw of the tablet HRT types Femoston is one of the better tolerated so a good one might be Femoston 1/10 to start with....

Hurdity x

[greenECLECtus28]

Thanks all for your very kind replies and advice. I will discuss with my Doc about HRT at my appointment Tuesday and wait to see the results of the blood tests hopefully they won't show anything scary I'm always really anxious about blood test results. Can any of you tell me you who are taking HRT did it help any issues you had with muscle pain?  I would say that of all the menopausal stuff, it appears, if it is the menopause that that's the thing that is giving me the most problems as from one day to the next I always seem to have some issue or the other I mean obviously having Spina Bifida and the issues that that causes with regards to how you walk and the pressure it puts on hip/leg/knee/ ankle is going to contribute but it seems to have become far more of an issue over the last two years every time I 'pull' a muscle it seems to be incredibly painful and take weeks to resolve itself or maybe it's just old age.

[MicheleMaBelle]

hello and welcome green ECLECtus. Poor you. I hope you start to feel better soon and would agree with all the previous comments. I've been on HRT for 16 months and it's helped with flushes and not so much joint/ muscle pain but it has caused some other issues,related I think to the progesterone I've been taking which hasn't agreed with me. Concur totally with comments from Hurdity.
I know what you mean about the wine- been there, got the T shirt but I've been trying to stop it during the week. ( stressful job) It's more about the ritual involved in thinking it relaxes you but more than 1 glass has the opposite effect. So, I've been having a nice long drink of tonic water, ice and lime. I don't miss the gin at all- it was more to do with the end of the working day ritual and a chance to catch up with my husband. Hope you get on ok on Tuesday. keep us posted xxx

[Ju Ju]

 

You've come to the right place for support. Moan away, if you need to! Sadly conditions that you just got along with before, are compounded by the onset of the menopause. But it does sound like you have a doctor who wants to do the best for you. I hope you can get back to the joys and fulfilment of illustrating soon. What kind of illustrating do you enjoy doing?

[greenECLECtus28]

Thanks again a bit nervous about the results of these tests tomorrow plus my ankle/knee/leg still sore when I put weight on it but I guess if I've pulled something it's gonna take a wee while to settle down Ju Ju I like to do wildlife natural history illustration I am a graphic designer illustrator by trade and worked in the industry for approx 30 years there were about a dozen of us who had been together for many years we were then all made redundant  as the company wanted to outsource as it was cheaper I was unemployed for 2 years and couldn't get a job back in the industry I thought about freelance but it was too risky as it was just myself and my son and I had a mortgage to pay and eventually I managed to get a job in a call centre as because of my disability I'm obviously limited to what I can do but even though it can be quite stressful sometimes the people I work with are lovely and we have a good laugh sometimes

[CLKD]

   sounds about 'normal' from where I'm sitting and you have a sympathetic GP - hang onto her ;-).

Browse round.  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful to chart feelings.  Eating little and often can help. 

I expect that over the years you have undergone many investigations which understandably can become wearying  but I think that once you have your appt. tomorrow: take a paper and pen to jot down anything you might forget : you will be able to make informed choices.  Anything you don't understand either make another appt. to talk to your GP if she doesn't have time or ask on here.

Depending on the level of your Spina Bifida will reflect on your mobility, do you sustain fractures easily?  Has osteoporosis been discussed as this condition is often missed with people who have your condition.  However, as oestrogen levels drop so muscles may become lax = aches and pains  and don't get me started on over-all dryness!  Skin, vagina, deep in the ears, nostrils - again because oestrogen levels are less over-all.

Let us know how you get on!

[Ju Ju]

Thanks again a bit nervous about the results of these tests tomorrow plus my ankle/knee/leg still sore when I put weight on it but I guess if I've pulled something it's gonna take a wee while to settle down Ju Ju I like to do wildlife natural history illustration I am a graphic designer illustrator by trade and worked in the industry for approx 30 years there were about a dozen of us who had been together for many years we were then all made redundant  as the company wanted to outsource as it was cheaper I was unemployed for 2 years and couldn't get a job back in the industry I thought about freelance but it was too risky as it was just myself and my son and I had a mortgage to pay and eventually I managed to get a job in a call centre as because of my disability I'm obviously limited to what I can do but even though it can be quite stressful sometimes the people I work with are lovely and we have a good laugh sometimes

Could you do some illustrating in your spare time? I'm glad the people you work with are lovely. It makes work more pleasant, even if the job is not all you wish it could be.

[greenECLECtus28]

Howdy chaps

Well had my appointment with GP this morning all blood tests have come back fine except for Vit D so she has put me on a supplement for Vit D calcium was fine too as you all know I have been worried about this latest issue with the excruciating pain I'm getting when I put weight on my ankle/knee/leg but I'm assuming things would have shown up on my blood tests e.g. Calcium would have been low if was Osteo issue or FBC would have shown something if i had an infection I think sometimes the issue is with me that I worry that if I'm perceived as a 'worrier' then the medical community just put things down to me being stressed out and don't take you seriously although my dad says they wouldn't do that. With regards to the HRT possibility we had a discussion and confirmed that it has been a year 3 months since my last period so am probably 'post menopausal'? Anyway she has suggested this drug called Fluoxitine? Which she says there is some research to suggest it can help with menopausal symptoms and help with the anxiety and worry that I'm experiencing at the moment she also suggested that I shouldn't be so hard on myself as she said that in her opinion the fact that I have managed so far with relatively few issues considering my disability is probably another reason why I'm finding things so difficult at this time (you don't say). With regards to my mobility issue she has signed me off work (which will be another can of worms) till the end of the month but obviously to play it by ear and if I feel able before then can go back to work but I'm just in so much pain I really thought there would have been an improvement since Friday there but I guess I just need to take things one day at a time.

Do any of you have any experience of Fluoxitine?

Take care all

[Hurdity]

Noooooo! The doctor has given you an anti-depressant (prozac) which is not the first line of treatment for menopausal symptoms. If everything else is OK including thyroid and your doc initially suggested HRT then this would be the best thing to try at first because it can help with joint pain and fatigue and low mood.

I am sorry to hear you are in such pain and I hope they are investigating this further - aside from the vitamin D?

However personally I would not want to take the Prozac but to try HRT to see if this would help - and this is not recommended by the expert medical profession:

https://menopausematters.co.uk/prescribed.php

SSRI DRUGS (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors). This is a class of anti-depressant drugs which seem to work on the "thermostat" receptor as well as neurotransmitters. Examples are Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, and Paroxetine. They have been studied and widely used effectively for reducing flushes in women who have had breast cancer [Ref 11 and Ref 28] . They should not be taken however, if Tamoxifen is being taken as part of the treatment for breast cancer since studies have shown that some SSRIs, particularly Paroxetine and Fluoxetine, may interfere with the action of Tamoxifen. Venlafaxine seems to be less likely to have this effect and so is the preferred option in this situation. The dose of SSRIs can be started low and increased gradually to minimize side effects. A greater reduction in hot flushes is seen at higher doses but the side effects such as nausea, dizziness, problems with sleeping, agitation and confusion may be worse. The NICE guideline recommended that SSRIs should not be offered routinely for control of menopausal symptoms, even for low mood if related to the menopause.

Of course it is up to you but you did ask! I know people who have taken it including relatives but have chosen to come off it because of long term adverse effects.

I think a better choice would be a low dose HRT like Femoston to start with - to see if it does make a difference to your mood and general well-being.

Good luck with your decision and hope you feel better soon

Hurdity x

[greenECLECtus28]

Hi 

Thanks for the reply I think I will check this out further, about 13 years ago I lost my mum as you can imagine she had been my world as when I was born with Spina Bifida she was my rock always there and always questioning doctors if she thought they weren't right ha ha and she made believe that there was nothing I couldn't do. It was a really traumatic experience as she went through a terrible time amongst things having 2 fractures before her osteoporosis was diagnosed and when she was in hospital she tried to get to the toilet on her own as she was ringing for nurses and no one came and ended up falling in the toilet and having to crawl to the cord in the toilet to bring help and then she was misdiagnosed that evening as she was in agony but the doc who was on call said she had only bruised herself even though it was pointed out to him that she had osteoporosis and the next day she was diagnosed with a fractured hip unfortunately because of her severe chest issues she had COPD and the time it took to get things moving she couldn't have an op to repair her hip and I really believe at that point she decided that was it and for the next two weeks my dad and I took turns sitting at her bedside morning and night as I was determined that as we couldn't get her home she wasn't going to pass away without one of us being there and as it turned out it was me sitting with her when she finally passed.

Anyway about 6 months down the line I started to have major panic attacks I was having major palpitations and couldn't stay in my house on my own I was convinced something awful was going to happen to me and I was on my own with my wee boy who would have been around 6 at the time the GP's at the time weren't much help my GP put me on an antidepressant and thinking about it I'm sure it was one of the older antidepressants it may have been Fluoxitine and it made me worse  and eventually my dad god bless him arranged for an appointment with my GP and demanded something get done I eventually saw a physiatrist who advised that I should have not been put on this drug and the newer antidepressants were much more suitable and put me on Citalopram which did take a while to kick in but when it did I really did see light at the end of the tunnel and after about a year I gradually came off it. I think I will make another appointment as surely there should be notes from that time that my current GP might not be aware of. I don't know if any of the issues I have experienced colours my perception of things and that is maybe why I'm always worried that I've been misdiagnosed

[CLKD]

Take the AD!  if you are not taking Tamoxifen  (unless I missed something) [a drug that almost killed me]  .  Feeling more in control will allow you to see the wood for the trees (what ever that means), it may take 4-5 months B4 you get real benefit. It may also ease some of your symptoms!  Prozac made me angry  but I am helped by my current mediation regime.  It may be that your GP thinks that an AD will kick in sooner than HRT .........


You have been through a lot and now at a time when your Mum would be supportive, she is no longer with you.  Do you think that CRUSE would be helpful to discuss those feelings?

What support to you have in raising your child?  Friends, hobbies, interests other than work?  Eating regularly, i.e. little and often would help too.  Anxiety in particular can happen if the body is hungry!