I would certainly have the chat with the female gynae and see what thoughts they might have. It may be that they suggest a course of AD rather than HRT if they feel your issues are more down to straight forward depression rather than menopausal hormonal problems - you have had major surgery which went wrong and are now facing having to trust to surgery again to make life more bearable - it seems inevitable to me that you would be experiencing a difficult time emotionally with effects on your desire for intimacy. I had a radical hysterectomy last September which ended up with an ileostomy and whilst I have no problems on a day to day basis with it, I've not yet got my head round the idea of having intercourse again - partially because my body is still very sore from the operation but also because if I am honest, I feel violated by the surgery - my body no longer looks like my own , which was never perfect, but at least had all its bits in right places. I think when things go wrong in an operation , we are left trying to deal with things that were and are out of our control at the same time as being expected to be grateful for what had been done. My mass turned out not to be benign so yes, everything was necessary but it is hard to be put in a position where everything and anything can be done to you because they are " saving your life."
In your circumstances, I'd be asking for a referral to some decent PTSD counselling as this would help you move on from your botched operation and feel more in control going forwards as you elect to have further surgery. Just feeling emotionally less vulnerable will put some of the balance of power back into your hands and I think it is so important that when things seem out of our control, that we are able to take some of it back. X