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[bramble]

Have any of you girls done any forward planning for your eventual demise? Thinking of POAs, wills, funeral plans, financial planning etc?

Events in my recent life have made me more aware than ever about this so I am just starting to 'get my affairs in order', starting with an appointment with a financial adviser. I suppose it is best to be prepared..............but not something I really want to do.

Bramble

[CLKD]

YEP!  In the 1970s I began wearing an SOS bracelet as I want to be a donor, the NHS can have every part of me that can be used.  MinL thought me very morbid 

We are at this moment in time trying to contact our Solicitor who is in the process: I hope : of updating our Wills.  However, I took paper work into his Office at the end of Sept. and have heard nowt since  .  I rang twice today but there is no answer!!!

I am also putting details on the family photos as we don't have children, so no one once Mum dies will know who anyone is.  Although not essential for the family, for social history or those who collect costume/fashion memorabilia, I think it's important to know who they are and where they lived.

Same with pictures/prints/photos around the house: I have begun making a list of who I want each one to go to ....... jewellery the same, odds and sods will be sold via a local Auction, named in our Wills.  I have a large collection of valuable 'stuff' which needs placing correctly.  It all keeps me awake in the early hours 

I am enjoying it!  Our Financial Advisor visits here annually .... he's done us well for 6 years!

[cubagirl]

Yep we've set up our finances & our wills.  I'm currently writing about important parts of our lives in a notebook. 

Haven't done anything with jewellery though.  I have heaps of junk stuff, but do have some good stuff which I haven't earmarked.  The reason for this is my mum had stuff earmarked for me, but when the time came the stuff had all gone awol.  Apparently she thought she was broke & sold some stuff.  She suffered with Alzheimer's, so didn't know what she was doing.  I did get her gold bangle which she got from my father on my birth, but there was an antique necklace which vanished.  She may also have hidden stuff and whoever bought the house may have found some 'treasure.

[nearly50]

Got a will and all my bank details written with it. Told my family I want a direct cremation and told them where to take the ashes - I don't want a funeral and don't believe they help the close family at all.

[CLKD]

Burial at sea?
I find funerals places to catch up on people rarely seen  and if I feel unable to go into the Service, I take photos of the flowers sent in memory.

Mum wants the Full Works  whereas we are opting for cremation with a celebrant rather than a Religious Service.  I want those who can't attend to buy a gift for the person they love on the day of my Service ......... 

[babyjane]

Having worked in the funeral profession I can honestly say that the funeral is often helpful, however it does not have to be a huge affair, just a way of saying goodbye to a loved one.

I have seen everything from the full works with horse drawn hearse and carved lead lined casket to a simple woodland burial in a wicker coffin.  Each one was what the family wanted as a tribute to their relative or friend. 

[Night_Owl]

Currently battling with my uncooperative 86 year old father who won't acknowledge the importance of me having PoA, financial and health - in spite of fact that he had a stroke last year, then another mini stroke and is in poor health.

It has made me realise how important it is to get 'things in order'.  Prefer the practical option of direct cremation - it's ridiculous how the cost of funerals is going up and I absolutely HATE funerals too, never understand how they are 'helpful' to those left behind.  My Mum's funeral was absolutely awful - my Dad's side of the family used it as an opportunity for a big (rowdy, upbeat) get together - an observer would have had no idea it was a wake in Mum's memory, they didn't even mention her.  Just Awful.  I was livid for days.

[nearly50]

Got all our paperwork in place. Don't need a financial adviser (no money!). Don't have any valuable pictures, furniture, ornaments or jewellery as 'things' like that have never held any interest to me, I like to travel extralight! It should be very simple when I pass on, just bag everything up and deposit it at the nearest charity shop.

Interesting about you not wanting a funeral nearly50. Not something I knew was possible .... but when I think of it, I absolutely HATE funerals and have never ever found one to be helpful. As the day approaches the knot in my stomach grows bigger - its an act of sheer endurance to get through the day I've found. When someone really close to you dies, you cry it out for days anyway, then when you're just beginning to see the light a little you've got the ruddy funeral to get through, not to mention all the work in getting it organised and the money it costs. I'm off to google 'direct cremation'!

I hate them too, they are just days to get through when it is someone close. I didn't know it was an option either until I heard of someone doing the same.My family will have a private ceremony on the beach and dig a hole for my ashes.  When I think about it, it'll be the place shown in my avatar. So they'll still have the chance to say goodbye, just not with all formaility of a crematorium and funeral directors.

[Night_Owl]

sounds like 'competitive funerals', SJ.  Awful. 

nearly50 - your option of private ceremony on the beach sounds lovely. 

[Off topic here - David Bowie had direct cremation.]

[bramble]

I have opted for straight cremation after the NHS has taken as many bits of me that are viable, no service and then my ashes to get buried in a woodland with a couple of family mementoes (no-one to leave them to) and marked by a small stone tablet. Sorted. That's the easy part.

B

[CLKD]

bramble - would you consider visiting a stone mason to get your stone sooner, so that you can enjoy it?

[Ju Ju]

Yes, wills done and kids have POAs for us, set up when we went travelling. My sister died at age 50, which spurred us on to travel for 6 months (camping!), instead of putting it off till tomorrow when we could afford to do it. Glad we did, with all the health issues I've been having.

My father has bought a funeral plan for himself, so if he dies before Mum, she and I won't have too much hassle.

Does direct cremation mean no service even at the crematorium?

I would leave it to those left behind as whether they want a service or not. After all, they know better than me what they need. However, I would want my ashes scattered along my favourite walk, where I connect to the peace and beauty of the countryside.

[CLKD]

I don't want a 'service' as such but people to sit and contemplate whilst listening to music of my choice .... I want to go 'out' with the Dawn Chorus 

[purplenanny]

I have never heard of a direct cremation.  Thank you, I will look it up.

[bramble]

I'm not having a service of any description at any point. Perhaps a lone piper when my ashes get buried but that is it.

B