oh dear Tempest, its not easy is it.
I am on a transdermal patch, so obviously not the same, but I kept chopping and changing the dose, as anxiety, dizziness was creeping in. The meno specialist told me to pick a dose and stick with it for a month, irrespective of how I feel. So I had the dizziness anxiety, feeling faint and weakness etc but eventually it did settle, I was very tempted to tweak the dose again during this period, but didn't and it worked. During this time, I was tempted to contact the specialist, but like you I didn't want to appear to be a pain, but he was right a month was what it needed to settle.
Obviously with transdermal its a constant amount all the time, unlike the gel. It will be good to get feedback from gel users.
Hope this helps a little bit, good luck!
Rx