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[Lostit]

Hello ladies, I am new to the forum, but glad I found it as I feel so alone and frightened. I had breast cancer 9 years ago and I was also told before that, that I would be unable to take HRT when I had terrifying pins and needles and numbness after being prescribed the combined pill to balance my hormones after a bad miscarriage.
It has been 2 years since my last period and things were fine. My only symptoms were moodiness and a few hot flushes.  However in January this year I became I'll with a labrynthitis type ear problem. This set off anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I was put on citalopram which made things a whole lot worse. I cut my dose down to 10mg and things were fine apart from the type of strange symtoms that you find hard to explain.
However the symptoms wax and wane and I never know how I will feel on any given day. I feel like my life is over.
All of them are symptoms of anxiety , menopause and labrynthitis.
It's like swimming in a whirlpool of anxiety constantly  re feeding itself.
I have a wonderful husband and a teenage daughter who is amazing I can't keep putting them through seeing the wreck that I have become
In the darkest moments I just want to end it but my family keep me going.
I am no longer the person I was just a shell. Sorry to moan, just needed to vent to some kindred spirits.
Any advice would be gratefully received. 
 Forgot to mention that my daughter started her periods in January -coincidence?

[nothappybun]

Hi Lostit
 I'm sorry I'm new here too but totally understand what you are going through, there are some lovely wise ladies on here which can help you and give you lots of information. They've guided me to posts and given me advice to understand all these unexplained symptoms.
You sound like a very strong woman and have been through a lot and with a little help surely you'll get through this stage 
It is really good to be able to vent in a place where you are understood so don't hesitate on let it all out on here!
take care and hope someone more experienced gets to you soon
      nothappybun xxx

[Lostit]

Thank you for your reply. I don't feel like a strong woman, I feel like a wreck. I knew it could be tough but not like this   I don't understand how we can send a man to the moon but are unable to understand our ever changing hormones. I have found it hard to understand or describe to other people and Dr's, how even on a good day I feel 'off' and can't begin to describe some of my symptoms. I feel like a hypochondriac but I have had so much to get over in my life that I am beginning to feel I am cursed. I can understand how some ladies used to be taken to the asylum. Some days I beg my husband to take me to hospital and leave me there.  Oh there i go again with the self pity!

[Hurdity]

Hello Lostit

 

Sorry to hear about your breast cancer and menopause symptoms.

Reaction to the BCP is not a contra-indication  to HRT as the hormones in the Pill are much stronger and synthetic, although previous breast cancer can be ill-advised, and also understandably I can imagine a reluctance to take HRT in these circumstances.

Oestrogen levels fall quite sharply for two years following the last period and thereafter stay approximately stable although there is probably some minor activity still going on for several years, from what I've read. This could explain your worsening of symptoms, including anxiety and depression which are linked to low oestrogen.

Unfortunately if your breast cancer was oestrogen receptive then that would probably rule it out, and the only other treatments that work are what you are already taking ie anti-depressants which also reduce on flushes. I have no experience of these but there are several types available - and maybe a different one would suit you better? They are all listed here ( those that can be used for menopausal symptoms if HRT unsuitable): http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/prescribed.php. Maybe start a new thread with a title about anti-depressants to attract those who take them? Also there are lots of threads about them so if you go to the forum home page and do a search you will find them

So good to hear you have a supportive family - and especially your daughter needs to know what happens to women at menopause!

It goes without saying that you will feel better if your diet is good, and you take plenty of exercise especially out in the fresh air, maintain healthy BMI, limit alcohol and smoking etc. Work out something positive to do each day which might help a little too.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

   "The Change" throws ladies into turmoil until they realise that they are not alone in this Journey and that there is help out there, albeit Trial and Error!

Although you were told 'no' to HRT, do have a look round the Forum, make notes.  Make an appt. with an Oncologist to discuss the recent guidelines as to HRT and breast disease.  Quality of Life is important. 

Your feelings are guilt!  Driven by who you 'were' and by what you are feeling now.  Talk to them!  Don't assume that they feel or think what you think they may be feeling/thinking!! They are not mind readers so sit down and tell them.  Maybe they could take on more chores around house and garden for example, for when you feel tired.

Make sure that your DD has lots of support - is she the first to start in her Class for example? 

I have taken an anti-depressant for years.  It isn't a cure for my depression but does enable me.  I get the occasional head 'zaps', like electric shocks through my head  .  I have a betablocka to help anxiety.

Your Life is not over but it will be different.  Maybe keep a note of symptoms/mood/food so that you have an idea as to any patterns emerging.

[Lostit]

Thank you for your informative replies. I don't know if my breast cancer was oestrogen receptive because it was multi focal DCIS and they never discussed it with me. I think I was just glad they had removed the cancer.   I had an appointment with my gp today and we discussed coming off the citalopram as I should be taking 20mg but I developed tinnitus from it and 10mg seems to ease that off a bit,however it is not doing a whole lot of good.My gp would like me to come off it and see how I am.  I used to take it and it worked really well at levelling everything out. Maybe my crazy hormones are fighting against it
He has put me on propanol for the anxiety with a review in 2 weeks. I see to react badly to meds at the minute. My body seems to revolt.  I am overweight but I am very active. I don't smoke and I rarely drink. I can't see to lose weight even when I hardly ate for a month because of the nausea I had a few months ago. All my blood work and a recent mri have come back showing good results. Sorry to ramble on

[Lostit]

Just to add my gp is referring me to a menopause clinic. So I may get some answers hopefully.

[CLKD]

You ramble away!  You R in good company 

Did your GP do a thyroid function test? Has your GP advised you visit a Dietician?  Someone who can give advice.  Some ladies find that weight hangs around as they age    …… you could go to see a trainer at a Leisure Centre for advice even if you don't want to go to a gym regularly.

Make a list to take to the Menopause Clinic.  Let us know how you get on and ask plenty of questions as you go along!

[Lostit]

Will do. Lord knows how long the referral will take😣 but I will make a list of questions on account of my memory being a bit foggy 

[CLKD]

That's another symptom  - you R in good company.  We have a 'doing stupid things' thread ;-).