Oh blimey!!! Please talk me down, ladies if you can. Having a rotten day today with gnawing feelings of doom and anxiety after a good day yesterday.
I've got so much stuff going on in my head today as we approach the new week, and I'm really stressing about it all. I'm thinking a lot about whether my GP is actually going to do anything regarding chasing the Consultant, and also re-running over in my head about when I saw her last week, and how I didn't feel good about some of the things she said during the appointment. Things such as 'I MIGHT let you use the Ovestin that the Consultant has prescribed you', even though she knows I am getting very dry and terribly sore down below. Her reasoning was 'well, we don't want another episode with HRT like the one you've just had, do we'? Also, when i tried to speak about another HRT, she said 'I think you need to slow down, don't you'? I really think she is treating me like a naughty child. She also said that as I 'had already tried two, I'd give up'!!!! I had to correct her and tell her no, actually I had only tried the Estrogel.
I don't think she understands how going through peri for 3 years, and surgical menopause for over a year without HRT has impacted on me mentally and physically. She also kept referencing that I should now 'work with mental health services and concentrate on that'.
And that leads me onto my next worry. I didn't mention last week, but the 'support worker' who came was not what I was expecting. She was 19. I know this, because she told me as her phone kept ringing whilst she was in my home, and it was a bridal shop asking her about fittings for a bridesmaid's dress. She actually spent most of the time telling me how she is going to be a bridesmaid for the first time at 19! She seemed very inexperienced and nervous, and I knew for sure she was a 'rookie' when the CMHT phoned her to ask if she was ok. She said they were checking on her as this was one of her first home visits. She wants to come again this Thursday. I don't want her to!
It's all making me feel a bit hopeless, I have to admit. I've tried staying chipper, but it's grinding away at me as we approach the working week again.
I also flat out refuse to take the Zopiclone that the GP prescribed for sleep - the increase in my antihistamine has actually helped me to sleep a little better, but it's not great. And I also don't want to take any more diazepam. I am thoroughly fed up of just being constantly sedated.
Sorry for the moans and groans, ladies.