Tinkerbell, I had those problems all the time with patches and it was much worse in the summer with going on the beach and swimming at lot - several times the patch came off completely and water was getting underneath. The itchy rash was horrendous and worse in the summer and the whole site felt permanently soggy.
I don't understand why you have been told you can't have the Oestrogel and to try the patches in another place first? Surely Oestrogel is the preferred option these days.
I changed from patches to gel a few years ago and have never looked back and, in my opinion, the gel is far more effective, user friendly, flexible and resilient. I would definitely push harder for it if I were you.