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[Ljp]

Hi, I am 51 and 2 years post meno. I currently have Mirena coil, and use estring for bladder symptoms, and oestrogel 1 and a half pumps daily, this keeps most of my symptoms under control.

What exactly is 'Going through the menopause'? As I see it, we start having various debilitating symptoms at some point in the years leading up to our final period, and according to what we are told, are considered to have 'gone through the menopause' once we have had no periods for a year.

However, do the debilitating symptoms disappear along with our periods? 'Hell no!'

I have a friend who had a hysterectomy, last year, one ovary was left, she had very few symptoms of meno prior to this, but now she is having hot flushes, she says she can weather them , as this seems to be her only troublesome symptom, and her GP has said they will probably stop fairly soon! … how does she know that?

I have another friend, who has had the mirena coil for years, her current one has another year left, she has hot flushes, brain fog, night sweats, her GP has said this mirena will see her through!… see her through WHAT

From my understanding, it's not something we 'Go through' it's a permanent change isn't it? Ok so the hot flushes might disappear if we're lucky, but what about bladder issues, VA, anxiety, etc etc
We aren't going to magically start producing our own hormones again, so how do we get over it?

Does is get better once our bodies eventually adjust to life without our female hormones? Or do we face the next 30 ish years with troublesome issues?

Just can't understand WHY we are told we "go through the menopause'and phrases such as,' this will see you through' are used, as if all will be fine on the other side!… how many of us are still waiting for all to be fine?

Ok I'm mostly fine thanks to HRT,  but I am still having anxiety at times concerning  my feelings of having 'given in' to HRT, feeling like I've failed for not having 'gone through' the menopause naturally, and worrying about the health scares surrounding HRT.

I personally can't see how, without using HRT, my bladder issues would ever become normal again, even though my GP said as she sees it, the HRT will help relax the bladder to enable it to not have to empty so frequently, and over time it could be that it would remain so should I stop HRT.

Sorry for long post, it just feels like we are led to believe that normal service will be resumed once we have 'gone through menopause' but I can't see how!

[Mary G]

What an interesting post.  You are quite right, you don't "go through" the menopause it is ongoing and actually means you live for years with oestrogen deprivation unless you take HRT for life - something I decided I was going to do a long time ago.  My view is that the menopause consists of two phases, the immediate symptoms leading up to the ceasation of periods and then years of other health horrors which are caused by oestrogen deprivation.

My advice is don't go there, you don't have to, that is why HRT was invented.  I think the time is very near when all women will be urged to take HRT unless they have a very serious underlying health issue.  Unfortunately, because of two deeply flawed and now discredited health studies, HRT has been held back and we now have a lost generation of women who should have been taking it but were scared off.  Those studies certainly have a lot to answer for. 

[Ljp]

Thanks Mary, yes those studies do indeed have a lot to answer for, both in our own, and our GPs misunderstandings.
There is still so much scaremongering and doubt around HRT.

I doubt I am alone with feeling like I'm doing something 'wrong' by giving in to HRT, and still doubt it's safety. Not helped when my GP said, "gynaecologists are very pro HRT, but I question if a breast oncologist were asked, whether they would have the same opinion regarding it'… very reassuring huh?
Oh and another gem from her  ' I don't question menopausal symptoms can be debilitating, but if course you'd kick yourself for taking HRT if you were to develop breast cancer' 😟

[Taz2]

I also think that we can waste an awful lot of time and energy waiting to go back to how/who we were. It takes quite a while to accept that even with HRT we have changed.

I have lost two friends to breast cancer and neither were on HRT.

Taz x

[walking the dog]

That's so true taz2 I'm def trying to get my pre age 44 when this started life back even though I know nothing will ever be the same again I just cant stop chasing the past hope acceptance arrives soon

[Taz2]

I've finally accepted it. Started symptoms at 52 and I'm 62 now so I took a while!!

Taz x 

[Dorothy]

'Going through the menopause' probably refers to the fact that many women find the worst of the health issues go after a few years - they may be older, fatter, wrinklier & creakier, but they no longer battle with debilitating side effects of the menopause.  I have a number of friends who are continuing to lead full & active lives now that the hot flushes etc have vanished. 

Ok, so it may not happen for all of us, but I, for one, am hanging onto that hope.  At 41, I'm not prepared to accept that this is as good as it gets for the rest of my life.  I know I am not going to ever go back to how I was at 35, but I'm hoping that I will one day be a lot better than I am now.  If I thought that I would be living the next 40+ years like I am now, I don't think I could cope.  Maybe at some point, I will have to accept that I'm not going to get any better than I am now, but meanwhile, I'm going to keep taking things a day at a time and keep hoping for an improvement.

[Lizab]

Sort of like going through puberty? We don't go back to our child bodies after the teen years, but it's a rapid change during puberty. We're always aging. I think we deal with rapid change "going through" menopause, but then continue with general aging. I know several women in their 40s and early 50s who had hysterectomy, and skipped or dropped the hormones after the big WHO scare, went through a period of hard menopause, and are fine now. I don't know what health effects they may deal with in terms of bone loss, vaginal health, etc, but they don't continue to suffer the same upheaval many of us on the forum in the throes of it are suffering. I think that's the part you "go through".

As for me, hail the hrt! I think it saved my life! 

[Nina]

Well I would like to say that I feel 100% my old self, even better maybe since I started hrt. I don't see why I should accept 'different' or 'change' <shudder>

No thanks it's onwards and upwards for me

 

[Taz2]

Good to hear it Nina - although it depends on what you mean by "change". HRT wont stop things from going South 

I found HRT made me feel ok - kept things much as they were before and got rid of the hot sweats which were so disruptive. I'm off it at the minute so I'm feeling pretty horrible - back to how I was ten years ago - but I'm hopeful that at my appointment in a couple of weeks time I can persuade my GP to let me have it back.

Taz x 

[Hurdity]

Exactly as has been said - going through the menopause actually means the menopausal transition - which is the time from when your ovaries start packing up and your hormones fluctuate wildly, until they finally do so ie your last menstrual period. So on or off HRT - you do go through it, but as Mary G says you don't necessarily need to suffer the long term health consequences if you take HRT.

Taz I missed that you were off HRT - sorry to hear you're feeling rough and hope you will be able to re-start soon!

Hurdity x

[Taz2]

My BP went up - not too high but it was still up - so I was taken off it and had to use a monitor at home for three days.  I haven't been back for results yet due to my doc being away but have continued to monitor it with my own (new) monitor and it's averaging out at 108/68 a day with a pulse rate of 63 per minute which is excellent and about where it used to be.

What's the betting the doc will say that it's come down due to stopping HRT? Sorry hijacked thread 

Taz x

[CLKD]

Oh Good Topic!

Better to call it "The Change".

I have been lucky in that none of the menopausal problems remained and none of them arrived at the same time.  My Oncologist muttered something about 'no HRT for you' at discharge and all the HRT packets say 'no' if a lady has had breast surgery.  However.  Quality of Life Girls, Quality of Life 'cos that bus ……… and what do they recommend in place of HRT?

Having SUFFERED greatly throughout my menstruating years, no way was I prepared to suffer once the periods stopped and once my depression was under control.  I saw a light at the end of a very dark tunnel and would use anything to keep me well!

How many GPs suggest that a lady should have a double mastectomy in oder to take HRT with less risk?  When I was called to see the Surgeon who did my lumpectomy sooner than the appt. I said I would have both breasts removed, but he told me that 'ladies with your condition do not require mastectomy.  If at a later date you can't live with the worry, then we will discuss it'.  It never crossed my mind again.

As for 'giving in'  ……….    if you are hungry do you not eat? if you have pain, do you not take medication? if you need an op to remove an in-growing toe-nail …….. ? if you need a rest, do you not book a holiday?   â€¦â€¦â€¦ The Change might be 'natural', that doesn't make it easy to deal with!  Digitalis is natural  …….

Accept that at this time of your Life you require 'extra' support ?    ………   

[Mary G]

I have to say that I do feel the same as I did pre-menopause and roughly the same as I did when I was 30, perhaps I am unusual.  That said, before the menopause I was battling with different types of contraception that didn't agree with me so in many ways, I am better off now with HRT. 

[CLKD]

I suppose I feel the 'same' other than the crippling anxiety that I've had since the age of 3.  I had to learn to pace myself, to say 'no' more often and not feel guilty if I had to cancel …….. fortunately my GP has been very supportive and I think that makes a huge difference to how ladies feel!  We don't want a battle when we are already vulnerable!!!