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[Dediva Ann]

Good morning lovely ladies. Newbie aged 48 & 3/4s here! I am morbidly obese with a heart condition and long term mental health problems (severe depression and anxiety, which have seen me hospitalised many times in my adult life) which have never responded to conventional treatments such as antidepressants, mood stabilisers, various therapies or even ECT.  I have had a very unhappy life to be honest struggling with my illness whilst caring for both my parents full time and thus not being able to maintain my (once very successful) career or have a relationship, children etc because of the demands of 24/7 caring. Finding myself fifteen months off fifty having recently lost both my parents has been such a shock. In the last year or so I have not been able to focus or function and have felt as bleak as can be and increasingly suicidal. In fact I had totally given up and written myself off - as had everyone else - and attributed this to grief and my further deteriorating mental health.  I felt utterly hopeless and helpless and was making plans to end my life.  And then a month ago a simple blood test confirmed I was perimenopausal and I was started on Elleste duet 1mg. In fact I think my GP was relieved he could offer me it (despite the risk factors around my weight and heart) as I was in such a state and nothing he'd offered me previously had even touched the edges of my low mood, loss of energy and crashing fatigue which rendered me incapable of doing anything at all. I am only on Day 14 of my first pack and have to say that little white pill is a veritable wonder drug and has quite likely saved my life.  There have been some unpleasant side effects yes (namely headache, nausea and upset stomach) but the transformation in my mood has been quite incredible. I had forgotten it was possible to ever feel like this.  I feel bright and forward looking, my energy is amazing (I want to exercise!) and the fog has finally lifted and I can think clearly so am now getting so much done (very necessary as I was at risk of losing my home if I didn't take action on some long neglected admin matters) and even my long lost libido is back (and has already been road tested!) The transformation in me in just two weeks is quite amazing! BUT I keep wondering what is the catch?! And I am terrified of starting the green progesterone pills on Saturday and losing all this benefit - especially my capacity to focus and function as I have so much to do and time is of the essence. Might anyone on here be able to offer me any reassurance? Do I absolutely have to take the green pills? Thank you.

[EllaM]

Hi there, just wanted to say hello and how sorry I am about the desperate times that you have had. I also want to say a massive well done for keeping going and getting to the point you have. Fantastic news.
I understand that hormones and depression can go hand in hand and if you have a look at Prof John Studd's website you will find some really useful information on this subject.
If you still have a womb you will need to take the progesterone tablets to prevent a build up of the womb lining.
Some women can tolerate synthetic progesterone, some take bio identical ok but some struggle with all types.
If you have a look at the menu you will find info on the different types. Also, have a good read of the different posts on the forum on this issue.
Unfortunately there is no way of knowing how well you will tolerate the elleste progesterone until you try (unless you already know that you can't tolerate synthetic progesterone). If it doesn't agree there are other options so don't lose hope.
Keep asking questions on here. There are so many very knowledgeable ladies who can advise and support.
You sound so positive, long may it continue xx

[Dediva Ann]

Awwww thanks for this lovely welcoming reply and your understanding and advice.  I actually wonder if my hormones have been underlying my depression my entire life.  It's struck me since writing on here that during the first day or so of pretty much every psychiatric admission my period started (so I had been admitted when at my most premenstrual) but my doctor dismissed it as a link.  I guess I'll never know if things could have been different.

I am now going to look up the website you suggested and posts on here about progesterone types.

I am so glad I've found this site and look forward to chatting to you EllaM and other ladies. Thank you xx

[dazned]

Hi   

I was on elleste duet for many years and did really well on them. Bless you really have had some trying times havent you but your still standing,what a positive attitude you must have deep down ,well done you. Try to remain as positive as you can and take the tablets and keep moving forward if you think the worst sometimes it can make the worse happen ! Unfortunately sometimes you have to be prepared to try different types of hrt before finding the right one for you,it can take a couple of months before you know. You need to be patient and give it a chance 
Just remember thousands of women do great on it but won't be posting on any forums ,they are out living their lives, hopefully you too will be one of those thousands,one day at a time. Good luck.

[Mary G]

Dediva Ann, welcome to MM.

First of all, I want to say how sorry I am that you have had such a difficult time.  Being a carer and losing both parents would be hard enough for most people without the added stress of health issues.  This is such a common problem, the menopause always strikes when women have young children, teenagers, ageing parents etc. 

Well done for seeking help and trying to get your life back on track.  You made the first move by seeing your doctor who has prescribed HRT and it sounds like you have been doing extremely well on it so far. 

My honest opinion is that Ellesse Duet is not the best type of HRT because it is oral (not as effective) and contains norethisterone, a strong synthetic progesterone.  However, because you have done well so far, why not just try the progesterone part of this regime and see how you get on with it?  Not everyone is progesterone intolerant and you won't know until you try it.

If the Ellesse doesn't work out, don't despair, there are plenty of other options and I would recommend you try to the Oestrogel/Utrogestan regime.  I have been using it for several years now and have found it to be the best HRT regime by far. 

I hope that helps.

[Hurdity]

Hi Devida Ann

  from me too and so sorry to hear about your troubled life and difficult times with depression and grief.

I agree with what the others have said and just to add that if you continue to experience nausea it may be that tablet HRT does not agree with you but of course give it a couple of months or so before deciding. Headaches and nausea are common on first starting oestrogen especially but this does settle quite quickly if it's due to the oestrogen generally.

If this one doesn't agree or the nausea continues  then transdermal HRT would be better ( either patch - combi or separates) or gel as Mary G uses. - but do continue with the Elleste initially. How have your periods been doing in the last few months - have you skipped (m)any, and are they now very irregular?

So glad you are feeling better already - the only way now is forward after all you have suffered - there is always someone here to help if you need to talk....

Hurdity x

[linz57]

Hi Devida Ann and welcome to MM.
So glad to hear you are seeing light at the end of the tunnel and I just wanted to chip in and say if you find oral hrt upsets your stomach too much you might find you do better with a transdermal patch or gel.
Stick with what you are using a while longer and see how you go but as others have already said, there are other progesterones to try if your current one doesn't suit. Also, you might be able to take progesterone every two months or so, instead of every month if need be. Fingers crossed your current regime turns out to be the right one.🙂

[Clovie]

Just wanted to say good luck with your green tablets!

Try not to worry - as Dazned said above, most ladies don't have a problem with progesterone or any part of HRT - and likely won't be here on this forum posting as they are fine and getting on with their lives!
There's a fair few posts on this forum about really bad reactions but they really are in the minority of ladies as a whole who take HRT!

So, you are very likely to be fine!     

[Dediva Ann]

Thank you all so much for your incredible warmth, support, information and advice and for making me so welcome on here.  What a lovely lot you are! 

I am still having periods Hurdity though have skipped a few in the past six months or so which is unusual for me, although now I get it.  My stomach seems to have settled a bit now on the white pill.  In fact all the initial side effects seem to have settled now (Day14.) I am just feeling very premenstrual, which makes sense in my "old normal" cycle.

I am going to pop my first green pill on Saturday and hope for the best - everything crossed that I will be someone who can tolerate oral norethisterone without too much trouble (may be even none - as you say Dazned and Clovie; those who don't have any problems with it are probably less likely to post about it ) but safe in the knowledge from the real eloquent experts (i.e. you ladies) that there are other options if I don't get on with it ( such as transdermal patch or gel and Oestrogel/Utrogestan - thanks for the heads up on those Hurdity,  Mary G and Linz57 - progesterone every two months only would be nice if necessary!  I am also now learning to negotiate my way around the site so will check out other types of progesterone too -thanks EllaM.)  Unless things get terrible I will stick with Elleste Duet.  I hope this won't be the case though as I have so much to do and for the first time in what feels like forever feel able to tackle it and want to make up for so much lost time.  It will be time that tells though I guess!

Btw, I looked at Professor John Studd's site EllaM and it is fascinating.  Although if I wasn't beginning to feel the benefit of HRT it would make very dangerous reading for me....  I wonder has my whole life been written off to depression since age 15, when some simple hormone adjustment could have resulted in a very different adulthood?  I remember the day after my very first psychiatric admission (in my 20s) for being crazy suicidal my period started?  I told  the ward doctor that I felt the pressure had lifted and wondered if it was related but was dismissed.  This became a pattern; pretty much at the beginning of every single admission my period started. I discussed it with my Consultant but again was dismissed!  I have told GPs over the years that the only time I ever seem to get any let up from feeling rock bottom is the week after my period. Because the "experts" discounted my theory every time then so did I....

And my Mum was diagnosed with bipolar disorder / manic depression soon after she had me aged 42. I mentioned to her CPN that there seemed to be a cycle to her "manic depression" that was almost like a menstrual cycle (even in her 80s) and he had in fact noticed it himself because (unlike the doctors) he saw her very regularly (every week or every other week) but again, presumably because like me she had a fat file of psychiatric notes detailing long psychiatric admissions, antidepressant and mood stabilising treatments and ECT, spanning several decades, her Consultant dismissed it.

The thing is even a long psychiatric admission will only include a couple of menstrual cycles so the pattern isn't apparent and when you are feeling crazy and in the midst of it and the professionals think they are right and they have so much power over you, you are inclined to go along with it.

To think mine, my Mum's and probably countless other women's lives could have been so very different really is heartbreaking.  Could all those treatments which damaged our physical health and sometimes left us like zombies, let alone the affect it had on our loved ones, career etc etc have been avoided. Doesn't really bear thinking about.

That all said it's early days for me with HRT so maybe this will just be a temporary short lived boost but right now I am feeling so much better and my ability to cope is much improved, and I am not feeling angry (with depression on the flip side) all the time either! 

Once again THANK YOU ALL for your comments and support.

[Dediva Ann]

Thanks StellaJane  Sorry you have gone through something similar too.  I know exactly what you mean about making bad decisions premenstrually!  There should be something written down to say you can't leave a job, make a will, get married/ divorced, buy a house etc etc at this time if you suffer!

In my case (and my Mum's) I do think it is a tragic waste of a life to be written off with psychiatric symptoms whichever way, and it could potentially make me go stark raving mad to really consider they could possibly have been so easily treated.

As you say though, HRT can work wonders (just hope I can stay on it now my BP has gone sky high!) and there isn't much point in doing anything other than trying to look forward now.... 

[EllaM]

Hi Dediva Ann, so pleased that we have all been able to help.  I am sure that hormonal imbalance has far more impact on our lives that we realise.
When I had my thyroid removed I was told by my consultant that it governed 127 functions so you begin to get the picture about the effects that hormones have on how we function.
Praying that you continue you feel well xx

[Dediva Ann]

Thanks so much EllaM.  127 functions for one gland?  That's incredible.  I know that there is always an improvement when my thyroxine is adjusted.  I hope you're doing well now.  I'll always remember your name for being the first person to reach out to me on here.  Take care  xx

[dangermouse]

It can be so frustrating to think back on the time of our lives that has been wasted on mis-diagnoses and mis-treatment. However, sometimes we have to go through challenging experiences in order to develop our strength and determination to keep going.

So see it as a life challenge that you achieved, by surviving and now coming out the other end! Your happiness will mean so much more to you now and you will take it less for granted than many people do.

Symptom treatment means the wrong consultants are often chosen (I was given over to the gastroenterology dept.). I do also think that endocrinologists are under used, they can prescribe all hormones and they do more thorough testing. Gynos are more expert in fertility and pregnancy than menopause and psychiatrists in mental health.

[EllaM]

Hi again Dediva Ann. This site is amazing. Without it I am not sure I would have survived as my GPs did not even suggest peri menopause as the cause of my problems despite some very obvious symptoms. It was only my endocrinologist, who 3 weeks after the removal of my thyroid when I was really poorly, suggested that there was something else going on!
It was lovely to meet you virtually and lets hope both our lives improve xx