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[Dyan]

That's brilliant news Mandz
Yes, I agree, it will be a test when you return to work but you'll be ok.  X

[Mandz]

Awwww hi ladies thank you for your good wishes and continuing support

Well the nurse came at 1130 am and left around 3pm!!!! Lol xx

She was lovely and took her time going through everything with me and we chatted about all different things ..... We actually had quite a lot in common and I was friendly with her cousin yeeeeears ago

[Dyan]

Glad it went well Mandz. Small world X

[CLKD]

Nurture her Mandz - Community Psy Nurses are as rare as hens' teeth!

Little steps!

[Mandz]

The only thing that concerns me is both her and phyciatrist don't think I'm ready for returning to work

But I feel being at home alone and not having a purpose to be organised isn't helping either..........


........took aaaaages to drop off to sleep last night and I was so tired

[Justjules]

Mornin Mandz...wow, she's a good find! Glad it went so well. It's an awful dilemma thinking about what to do about work. I am in the same boat...need to ring them this morning about the dr's suggested phased return if no more than 4 hours a day for the next two weeks....the troubke is, my best hours are from 10:30 to about 3pm so hope they agree to that but it's honestly making me feel so anxious just making the call and then just swanning into work when I feel like it for two week and what everybod will be thinking, which, I know, people will say that doesn't matter but it does to me. I know what you mean though about not being good just moping around with your own company but I could get used to this just watching rubbish telly and reading with a bit of housework now and again....was going to really make use of this time off by doing my mindfulness and meditation and have done zilch, so I am cross with myself.  Today I have got up and a he all over, still got hot sweat and rapid heart rate when I wake up and a headache on and off which won't shift.  I know it's probably all the swapping and changing of meds but my problem is, my HA won't let me believe it is just that. Off to therapy again soon and going to tell her that I seriously don't see me coming to terms with any of this and until I can accept that it is all just anxiety, then I am wasting my time and money but then it's my weekly 'get it off my chest' chance. 

If I were you, maybe you should take advice from nurse and psych and maybe wait a couple more weeks if you can. Xxxx

[Mandz]

Hi folks

Been a bit of a mixed bag of a few days....
Fri, went to my local asda for shop, took about an hour to convince myself to go, but it was fine
Sat, thought I'd gut my bedroom and en-suite,geez it nearly killed me, first decent clean it's had in aaaaages! I was jiggered after that- can't believe how exhausted I was
Yesterday I'd arranged to meet some work colleagues for a cuppa and couldn't face it, I was very weepy in morning and just felt sad all day

Yesterday I also got word offering me two further counselling sessions, I turned them down because I've done without them last 3weeks, and two more would just be a waste as it would be starting one week and finishing the next if you see what I mean

I go back to work next week and half of me really wants too, in fact more than half, but deep down I don't know if I'm ready or just panicking, most people are telling me to take more time off, but then it's a vicious circle of feeling inadequate, I think being with folk and routine will help ........being myself is not good for me

Such a ramble, sorry xx

[babyjane]

Hi Mandz, sometimes the idea and anticipation of an event can be more worrying that the actual event itself.  I get this and once I start doing whatever it is that is worrying me I find I can go with the flow and complete the task, most of the time anyway.

Good luck.

[CLKD]

Anticipation anxiety is what floors me.  For weeks sometimes B4 we go away  .  Then the holiday is usually OK    so have anti-anxiety meds to hand. 

[babyjane]

yes, it's all the 'what ifs' that usually don't happen but I have been through them all before we go.

DD and partner recently returned from holiday and the airline lost their luggage and they had to travel home without it.  they took it all in their stride, it was eventually located and returned to them at home, but I would have freaked out panicking about all the worst case scenarios - that is if I had been away in the first place which is unlikely just at the moment.

[CLKD]

I would always do my washing B4 coming home - be my Luck that the cases would go missing 

[Mandz]

Hi ladies

Well had my second visit from psychiatric nurse yesterday, she's just the loveliest down to earth person. Arrived at 11-2

She is trying to persuade me not to go back to work--- I totally understand that as a few things she said just made the tears flow, but I think being at home myself now isn't helping my mood. I feel I need something to get out my bed for, and a bit of construction to my day instead of either lying here or sitting clock watching and watching tv

I'm nervous enough thinking about it

[Halfpint]

I think if she's trying to persuade you not to return to work it's because she can sense you're not ready for it.

How about going for some gentle walks rather than stay in the house all day?

[CLKD]

Walking.  Make a list each evening of daily chores, ticking them off will let you see what you do achieve.  Do you have a Library close by that you can spend some time in? or a wander round charity shops?  Fresh air is the most important thing!

[panda123]

Sounds like you re doing so well now Mandz  .  Don't try to rush it though, you ve been on a really tough journey and maybe need peace and calm to process everything. 
Xxx