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[Babsm67]

That's great news - it can feel like a major effort to go out at times but meeting friends can really lift the spirits when you have been feeling depressed.  Well done for doing that drive too!    We are going to watch that film as well - my daughter said it is very funny  . Happy Easter! Xxx

[Mandz]

Thank you madbloss ....yes my friend said its funny!!!

Last night I really wanted to cancel ....but I knew I'd be fine!!! I would have just stayed at home and felt low for not going xx

[CLKD]

The pre-event anxiety can be worse than the event itself  but if you don't manage to go places, DO NOT sit at home and mope  .  Your decision was then, make the most of now - feet up, cuppa to hand, Very Good Book/Film!

[Mandz]

Well an eventful sort of a day

Geared myself up and went to asda by myself-local one!!! Got a bit emotional just as I went in but just kept focus ing on what I'd to get, and also normally I do a big Easter meal, bit like Christmas normally, but I just haven't that "oomph" to do it , as to be being quite honest, I've barely been able to force myself to cook anything, so preparing a big meal was a def no-no

So DH, son and his girlfriend had to settle for chicken salad- no that they complained, think hubby was genuinely pleased I have made something 


Even went for a look round matalan

I'm absolutely cream cracker end now though....

[CLKD]

It takes up a lot of energy to get out there!   

[Babsm67]

I agree, CLKD - why is it that the things we used to take for granted eg.  just going to meet a friend or getting in the car & driving to town to go shopping, now feel so draining or worse, turn into an ordeal?  I think 'When did this happen exactly?'.   Depression drains the energy levels but, I have realised, it is crucial to try & see friends when they want to meet (which isn't often!) otherwise I will end up feeling even lonelier & worse.
So, well done again, Mandz - each thing you make yourself do is another step forward!    xxx

[Mandz]

Yes, I'm usually in our local asda that often I'm sure people think I'm either a secret shopper or the store detective

Seriously though.... I'm doing all I can to get back to "me"

the tears are still not far away xxx

[CLKD]

I used to shed tears internally if I have a good day!

I have always suffered: either before an Event or after - with panic feelings.  Throughout my Life I have avoided situations because it is easier than dealing with how I feel. 

Little steps?  I used to browse in the Supermarket, going along shelves and reading ingredients: I was more worried about being stopped for shoplifting  .  I would quit whilst ahead, B4 anxiety struck.

[Justjules]

Not tending to use big supermarkets at the mo, not that I like them anyway, so just use farm shop, local shop and on-line. 

Everything is such a major effort at the moment...don't remember feeling this rough with the anxiety in the past. Think it is the Sertraline withdrawal, now the BB stoppage after all these years. After being away last week don't even feel like I've had a holiday as it was nice but so stressful because of the way I felt. On top of all this, my Mum told me yesterday that she had kept it from me that just before I went away, she found two breast lumps and daren't tell me as she knew I wouldn't have gone away. Her friend went with her and thankfully all was ok but when I left hers I got home and blasted off at hubby as we hadn't been speaking since before I went away and told him no wonder I have all this stress as I have to deal with stuff on my own, not having any siblings and was virtually having a panic attack in front of him but he called me a psycho bitch for shouting at him about it when really I just wanted him to realise how upset I was. He's had enough of it all now and says I do it to myself and it's all in my head. He's in bed now as he doesn't feel well apparently....hope it's something that will be hurting....maybe I am a psycho bitch after all!! Got to go to his mothers tomorrow for a turkey dinner (God knows why....they can't even cook now we have to do it...) so he's annoyed that I have a Drs app and said I should have cancelled it as I said I would but then I would have had to wait another week to see the GP I like.  Sorry, just having a ramble while watching rubbish telly 

[Mandz]

You ramble away..... Do you think maybe your hubby might be a bit depressed? As it seems to me he possibly could be...... Maybe both of you are stressed with the whole "situation " and it's all coming out as fireworks

Don't stress about your mum, I think she did right thing not telling u as you are fragile enough as it is just now, and anyway she had support from her friend......and thankfully they weren't anything sinister.....so step back from that

You HAVE to go to that gp appointment, don't cancel.....and tell the go what's going on, sending you a virtual hug xxxxx

CLKD, I was a bit like that myself although I came out the supermarket and was standing with my trolley right beside the boot of my car.... And I couldn't see my car, I was thinking to myself, where the hell is it? Had I parked it somewhere else and forgotten??? Then I turned round just as I was thinking .... That's it!!!! I've lost the plot what the hell am I gonna do!!!! And realised I was standing beside it, had a bit of a smirk to myself

[babyjane]

The penny dropped with me in the night.  For the last 2 weeks, since stopping my very low dose of E-citalopram, I have felt the same as when I started it and I have been ranting and raving and virtually abusing my lovley, long suffering husband.  Also having violent dreams and drenching night sweats.  The last 2 nights have been better and although I don't feel at all well, there are now moments of lucidity, like light breaking through the cloud before it clouds over again.

I suddenly thought to myself that my body is trying to get itself back on a level footing after being disturbed by the drug and there could even be a little bit of the drug still in my bloodstream.

Years ago I took Prozac for 6 months and it took me 6 months to get off it.  I still feel sick and dizzy, like I have a permanent hangover but now I don't feel depressed about it and wondering what is wrong.  I need to take care of myself and work it out until my body forgets about the drug induced upheaval.

Why on earth was I given ADs for menopausal/hormonal anxiety anyway?! 

[CLKD]

Because you were depressed? as the medication kicked in, that's what you decided - that you had been depressed without realising it.  The medication is unlikely to remain in your system this long so have a look-see at your diet? how hydrated you are? and maybe jot down your diet etc..  I had depression every month pre-bleed which would lift until the next time, bugga.  'ratty' my Mum told me I was 

I had bad anger spats at Himself      but it was totally hormonal.  I would fly ….. he doesn't remember but I do  .  That was later on, in my late 20s/throughout my 30s.  I would be OK one day about something but the same issue would trigger intense anger …………

JustJules - that is unacceptable.  What problems does he have?  Also, why do you need to know about your Mum's breast lumps?  Is it really anything to do with you?  I don't tell anyone unless they are on the 'need to know' list and certainly, family are NOT!  .  Take care of you.  Fortuatenly your Mum is OK ………. when I had breast disease I was so busy going through treatment that I didn't tell any of the family, easier as we live 2 hour's drive away ;-).

[Halfpint]

Jules, I know we joked about being twins but now I'm thinking our husbands are twins! Mine is exactly same and not very understanding. All our time together if I have ever been ill, he shows me no sympathy or shouts at me. When my peri menopause started all he did was shout 'what's wrong with you NOW '? He's also sick of me walking around sighing! He's also never been able to cope with my anxiety.
A good friend said she thinks his anger when I'm ill is really because he's worrying about me. Funny way of showing it!
Glad your Mum is ok. Similar thing happened with my mum last year and I went to the hospital with her but we hadn't told one of my sisters (who is also going through menopause) because she was on holiday but when she found out she was really offended the other siblings knew and not her and said 'nobody tells me anything, I feel like I'm not part of this family'!
I'm having a rough day today. Keep feeling sick and got no motivation to do anything.
X

[CLKD]

Ginger biscuits Halfpint?  I find that this change of the clocks upsets my digestion for a few days, like I have missed a few meal times 

Maybe men get scared if their partners are poorly?  Certainly my Dad couldn't cope if Mum was ill, he would look after anyone else but would get angry or walk away if Mum as much as sneezed!

[coldethyl]

I don't know why you were given them BJ - it seems standard practice even though the Nice guidelines now do not recommend them as first line treatment for menopausal anxiety/ low mood - though if you are clinically depressed they will still be prescribed. I was offered them and told they'd also help the flushes ( though dr failed to say not the one I was to take) but new guidelines don't even recommend them for that and I notice Clonidine, a BP med, is no longer recommended got flushes either. I think doctors see distress and want to help but don't know what to do other than dole out ADs and betablockers. I haven't yet been able to make any of mine understand that I have had a lifetime of anxiety and that what I am feeling now is so different that I'd hesitate to call it anxiety. That's not to say that stuff like CBT and Mindfulness haven't helped but it still isn't as easy to turn off as the previous 25 years of anxiety. I believe that is because it is nearly all hormonal with very little of it being " us" and our thought patterns and behaviours. Yes , how I react can add to it and make it worse than it might be , but when the blues descend or the agitation out of nowhere late afternoon / early evening , they come without any thoughts or worries and feel just like chemicals flooding or leaving my body. In the face of this, I think Ads are like tying to turn back the tide by thought alone.