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[CLKD]

So start the deep breathing today! 10 mins. every hour.  It's no good waiting until later! 

Why feel bad about asking for a home visit  …….. if you need to be seen but don't like going out of the house   

[Clovie]

Because even though I feel bad, I don't think I warrant a home visit. There are seriously ill people out there who need one more.
Besides, I will be OK going to the surgery with my husband. I wouldn't be able to go alone. It's just going out on my own that I've been avoiding.

[jedigirl]

Clovie,
I totally understand yr panic at having to wait for an appointment. It's difficult once you have made that decision to go to wait further. You are stronger than you realise and have taken the right decision to see your gp in the first place. Be kind to yourself and congratulate yourself on having that strength.
Use what you need to get yourself over the wait. Load up with lovely films, stick some meditations on you tube, walk , bake whatever distracts you and allows you some space.
Use the time to plan what you want to say and write a list.
I agree that new GPs have a lot going for them. They are keen and optimistic, more ready to listen and be open minded.
If you really need something for the anxiety on the day of the visit then I've used over the counter Benadryl for anxiety as a one off. It's an anti histamine but takes the edge off.
Good luck xx

[Dorothy]

My two worst experiences at a GP have been seeing the ones who 'specialised' in my problems.  My current GP admits she knows next to nothing about the menopause and has been the BEST person I have met so far for dealing with it.  You can't tell from someone's qualifications 'on paper' how good they will be.  A new GP who is nervous and anxious to get everything right may well be better than a more experienced (? and arrogant? ) senior member of staff.

You are not obliged to take any tests/treatments that you don't want, so if that is worrying you, just remember that you are entitled to refuse things.  Hugs x

[CLKD]

What is 'seriously' ill?  Isn't anxiety serious?  I remember needing to sit in our car whilst DH sat in the waiting room and collected me at the appt. time.  I remember wandering into the Surgery in a state of despair, the Pharmacist took 1 look at me and guided me into see the GP. 

I rarely consider anyone else when I feel ill.  How they and their families deal with anything 'serious' is up to them, when I had break through depression in mid-January, that was serious to me and needed addressing.  Fortunately I was able to visit my GP and had there not been an appt., I would have saked for a phone call or house visit.

Hopefully you will be OK once the appt. day arrives  and with DH on hand, the anxiety will be less.  For me it's the not knowing if or how badly it will strike  >sigh<

[Dana]

Give the young guy a chance. You might be surprised. As others have said, he might be more willing to take the time to really listen to you because he hasn't been in the game long enough to have developed an "I know everything" ego. Who knows - maybe he has a Mum who's also going through exactly what you're going through so he will be even more sympathetic.

[Dana]

Here's a thought.... Why not make an appointment with the lady GP just in case you aren't happy with the outcome with the male GP. You can always cancel it if you don't need it, but if things don't go well on Thursday you won't have to wait too long before you get to see the lady GP.

[Sooby]

I think this guy deserves a chance. I have always found new locums to be more enthusiastic and up to date than more seasoned gps. Do some research first and write a list of your symptoms to take with you. A really effective technique for defusing anxiety and overwhelming stress is to just announce them right at the start.

So as soon as you sit down just tell him honestly how you feel. Something like "I may burst in to tears during this appointment as I am so overwhelmed by my feelings of anxiety and have a great fear that you will dismiss my symptoms and that I wont receive the treatment that I so desperately need. Coming here today took a tremendous effort and I'm pinning all my hopes on you helping me today as I don't feel that I can cope with any more disappointment."

You can use your own words of course but saying it out loud makes the horrible fight or flight pressure dissolve and stating your needs will help the gp understand the importance of supporting you in dealing with your symptoms appropriately.

Ask all the questions that you need and if at the end of the appointment you feel that you need another appointment with someone else just go home and ask your hubby to make one.

I honestly think it will go much better than you think.

[babyjane]

Sooby has said some wise words there Clovie. I have found that covering up my problem with anxiety to my family only made things worse.  Since I was honest and 'came out' recently I have felt better and they know where they stand with me 

[CLKD]

   Sooby - well said!

[Clovie]

Thank you once again, some really helpful replies, and great ideas too. I will bear the Benadryl in mind if I need it on the day, and also like the opening speech idea.

Saturday I felt jittery and paranoid but went out for the day with hubby, felt a BIT better yesterday - and today I feel much better 

This is the problem, I feel 
I now don't feel like visiting the doctor on Thursday! 
I had a bit of a row with hubby and told him he SHOULD have made me a same day apt, not accepted one for a week away. I told him I needed to see a doc when I felt like I did, because I feel I might brush it all under the carpet if I feel like this when I go? Reading the 2 A4 pages I wrote last week looks like it was a different person, who I don't recognise now 

These anxious and depressive moods seem to last a few days at a time, after which I feel a lot better - until the next time. They feel EXACTLY like bad PMS but this last episode has not heralded a period, not 'due' for another week or so - I understand my hormones could be going haywire though.

Is it normal with 'proper depression' to feel like this? To feel bad then feel (much) better (but still not 100%) within a day or two?
Or am I right thinking it IS purely hormonal?  Argghh.

Thanks for helping, all, I do so appreciate it x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Clovie, you are suffering with hormonal depression and anxiety, which means it comes and goes all the time. I know exactly how you feel. I can feel in the depths of despair, anxious, jittery and scared to be left alone. Then the very next morning I can wake up feeling so much better, calm, centered and full of optimism. This has been happening to me for the last 2 years.

At first I thought I had a brain tumour. Then I assumed I was having some sort of mental breakdown. It was during this time I saw 2, female, middle aged GPs, both dismissed my symptoms and never once mentioned the menopause. I kept going back to see them but they couldn't have been more useless.

In desperation I saw an elderly, male GP who immediately recognised the cyclical nature of my anxiety/depression and put me on the right path toward hormonal treatment.

[BrightLight]

Hi Clovie - I am going to sound really calm as I type, because it is much easier to give out advise when not in an anxious state yourself!  I have had major anxiety around Dr's appointments and still do.

The thing is, we can't think straight when we are anxious.  We also second guess ourselves all the time.  We continue to worry and overthink.  We want to feel a sense of control.

The thing is, when we feel unwell or need a medical opinion on something we think is wrong, we are not in control. Fact.  We don't have the knowledge or skill to help ourselves. So, there is nothing for it but to feel that vulnerability and to me, anxiety is all about feeling vulnerable and out of control.

Can you accept the appointment is booked and not look to change it?  Then put it aside.  If you get feelings about it, try and ignore them.  You have acted on your need and the appointment is booked, there is nothing else for you to do.  You are completely free to stop worrying   Easier said than done, but really, it's true.

When the time comes for the appointment, try again, to relinquish all control about the outcome, whether the GP is good or not, whether the answer will be the right one etc and try to stick to the reason you are going and what help you want.

It is so very easy to write this down and very hard to stop anxiety running amok when it starts but really, it's a great tool to start to separate things out a bit.  You have overcome a huge anxiety by making the appointment, the next will be attending.  You don't need to berate yourself or husband in between times  

I hope this helps, even though it is probably challenging.  Our worry is in our control, we can limit the effect, but it's hard.  Stick to the facts and the actions and try and ignore the feelings sometimes x

[Clovie]

Thank you Gypsy & Brightlight x
My appointment is tomorrow - I get awful butterflies when I think of it, but I must bite the bullet and go. Hubby taking me to look round IKEA tonight (how romantic!  No, but he knows I love it there, bless him) to take my mind off it.....

[CLKD]

   IKEA ……… I've been once, many years ago ……… Himself wouldn't consider taking me there however much he needed to take my mind off something 

When I was giving a talk many years ago I wrote it down, stood in front of the mirror and read it - each time I felt less anxious.  How about making your list and reading it out between now and the appt.? 

Your husband has no more control over the appt. system than most of us do ……… accept that he is doing his best! he can't feel what you feel  .  If you really can't attend 2-morrow let him keep the appt. so that he can explain to the GP?