Guilt can be destroying. Because we can't alter what was happening and the result of not going - now that Grandad has died you don't have to visit so that option no longer causes anxiety.
Anxiety is 'normal'. It's the 'fight/flight' response left over from when we lived in The Cave. Knowing that however doesn't help when the physicality of it all hits. The number of 'experts' that advised me to 'remember how you feel on a good day, that will take over the anxiety feelings' ………..
now I would alter the shape of their face if they said anything similar to me
Of course the next problem will be: go to the Service or not
- when my friend died suddenly at the start of Dec. DH and I volunteered to sit at their house because I couldn't go ……. we sat reading, thinking about how the Service was progressing …… if that's how you cope don't let anyone else sway you to do different! Sitting with the lights low, maybe light a candle, remembering can be done anywhere.
Some people find that blowing into a brown paper bag helps. Something to do with oxygen levels? but I've never been one to carry a brown paper bag with me. Some find singing can regulate breathing …….
If you had something serious by now you would have had 'more' symptoms.