Lisajp, there is no need to apologise for your anxiety, it is not your fault, it is the fault of the idiots out there in the media who perpetuate all the out of date, misinformation about the so-called dangers of modern day HRT and it makes me very angry indeed. If anyone reading this is in any doubt and needs reassurance, go a see a real professional who actually knows what they are talking about like Professor Studd, who has made this subject his life's work.
I'm going to turn this on its head. Far from seeing the use of HRT as giving up, I see it as a positive way forward and a vital form of preventative medicine. Whether we like it or not, oestrogen works like a control centre for many vital functions and without it, our health and quality of life will deteriorate. I have come across women who end up taking about 5 (or more) different forms of medication for post menopausal issues when a simple dose of oestrogen would deal with the whole lot in one fell swoop.
One thing I have learned is that the menopause is not just about symptoms, it's about the negative effects and consequences of long term hormone deprivation on health in later life.
It is important to make a distinction between the old style, heavy duty HRT and the bio identical HRT which is used today. All risks associated with HRT are linked with the synthetic oestrogens (rarely used now) and progestin element but the Mirena coil does not release enough of them into your system to be a problem.
I know it's easy to say but try to stop worrying. Give the Mirena a chance and if it doesn't work out, you can always get it changed. When the benefits of the Oestrogel really kick in, you will wonder why you didn't take it sooner.