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[honeybun]

Not sure if anyone has noticed but I really don't post that much about my mother anymore as it was just getting me down.

Things however have moved on a bit.

Not really looking for answers as there really aren't any.

Mum is now 93 and over the last five weeks has been in a lot of pain with sciatica. She wasn't walking well before but now it's simply awful.
I think the thing I need to off load over is my sisters attitude. Ok she has organised social services to come in an attempt to get a full care package. That might help a bit but I really think she should be raising the care home question. My mother is not coping and I'm not sure that extra carers are going to solve the problem.
It's so hard.....I don't want to see my mother in a home but I'm not sure how long the current situation can go on.
My mother has a dog which obviously can't go into a home with her. My sis has always said she would take the dog but now she doesn't really want to.

Mother wants the GP called again.....I won't call....there is nothing they can do.....they won't take her into hospital with sciatica, they can't give any stronger pain relief....so why call again.
I'm the bad one now for saying these things. Sis not around tomorrow so it would be down to me and I'm not doing it.

Disjointed explanation.....just needed to write it down....and get it off my chest.

I feel so sorry for her as her quality of life has gone but she is such a poor sufferer and I'm never sure it's as bad as she says. 

Honeybun
X

[robotwars]

Oh Honeybun! I do sympathise and know exactly what you are going through as im going through similar with My mother who has severe COPD and the way my brother is helping! NOT ..............
Just wanted to say I do understand what you are going through, I have finally arranged for my mother to go into an extra care home at the end of the month, she also has a dog and my mother has finally agreed that he needs a new family who can take him for lots of walks and play with him, so I have organised for the local dog charity to help us find him a new home.....
Keep smiling ....... 

[honeybun]

I'm trying...I really am, but I'm being pulled in all directions.
On Sunday morning I had to go to mothers. Half an hour before I was due to leave my hubby who has Type 1 diabetes had a big hypo. Very very low blood sugar. I had to get him sorted and then leave him feeling pretty awful to go to mothers. I shouldn't have to choose. My daughter sat with her dad as I dashed off.....I felt so bad but I knew my hubby would recover quite quickly.

Mother needs more.....so much more.


Honeybun
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[honeybun]

Thanks sparkle.

Hubby is fine thanks. Like most diabetics he has his moments.

I know my sis wants to try the full care package as do I, but I want to set the care home thing in motion....because it's going to come whether my sister likes it or not. It's better to at least explore the possibility rather than ignore it. It's not what I want but things are not working as they are. Mother can hardly walk anymore.
Carers....we hope will be in four times a day. But there are the gaps in between where she is on her own. Toileting is becoming a problem, as is showering....

Heck this is hard.


Honeybun
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[thorntrees]

Honeybun, so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Nothing I can do to help but just wanted to send you loving thoughts and a virtual hug.

Thorntrees

[bramble]

 

Bramble

[Linsey44]

Oh Honeybun I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this, it must be so difficult for you especially when you and your sister are not agreeing on the best way forward. 

I dont have any words of wisdom only encouragement - you have coped well (where others may have crumbled) with caring for your mother for a long time alongside everything else  you had going on -  stay strong and  Im pretty sure you will make the right choices for all concerned. 

Hugs
Linsey X

[CLKD]

I think it's time for respite 

Your sister has health problems, you need to take care of DH ………..

In the mean time ask around people you know including the District Nurses, local Vicars who are likely to be visiting regularly and can see the ins and outs of the various care on offer.

[honeybun]

Thanks ladies.

CLKD, respite is very difficult to get...we have been through it before with my step father and it was a nightmare and had to be arranged months in advance. Great in theory, not so great in practice.

Anyway Social worker on Wednesday and the full care package in place soon after I think. That means four visits per day......that should at least help a bit in the meantime.


Honeybun
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[CLKD]

>wave< Was that in recent months?  Maybe book it anyway  - especially if the condition deteriorates in the mean time.

[honeybun]

No that was years ago but the situation has got a lot worse and the respite beds have been drastically cut.


Honeybun
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[CLKD]

Any Church Groups that would have links to 'care'?

[honeybun]

Yep , A Church of Scotland home....best in the area and a queue the length of your arm to get in.


Honeybun
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[CLKD]

Get into the queue ………. you can always back out if somewhere else is found.

Or get a small camper in the grounds ready for the final transfer 

[Joyce]

Any VSA ones HB? Our daughter says they are really good too.