I am really pleased about the contributions from members on this thread.
I don't want a break in my hrt, because I want it for life. I stopped producing oestrogen at 42 years, I am going to need it for the rest of my life for optimal physical and mental health and a life worth living. I doubt if I will have any qualms about taking my own life, if I don't get a terminal illness/ticket out, I just don't want to live the way I was living, as i also have suspected ADHD and mental health problems, I just cannot take meno problems on top.
Once I wet my self, I was sober, I got up to use the loo and it all just came out. I haven't bothered telling any doctors, I forgot, and I doubt they will care, and I don't know if nhs provide incontinence pads, they should, same with tampons.
I feel abused by my GP's, they have taken over my body, they have each got a body of thier own, which they can make choices on and they should let me, sod cancer I don't care about it, I have relatives who died of it.
@GypsyRoseLee, I would always take choice A. Even if I was unlucky enough to get cancer at fifty. It's a horrrible world this, beautiful earth, but shit world, so much fear, hatred and suffering.
My mum had a hysterectomy at 47 and a surgical meno, she took premarin for five years and she said it helped her anxiety, and when she came off, all meno symptoms had gone.
My two sisters, age 49, and 50 are just getting the first flushes. One of them is using 'mind over matter' to get through her meno, my mum told me, but I said mind over matter doesn't work when you have three liquid sh!ts per day, can't control bladder sometimes and other bollocks symptoms. My mum said it sounds like I am having a dreadful menopause.
I am so unstable mentally, that if I stopped my hrt to see how I go, I dunno if I would survive it, because, like I said earlier, I was collecting a cocktail of drugs, to take one day, when things got too bad, in the hope that these drugs would euthanise me. I even went on those dreadful suicide web sites. I don't want to go there again, I will always need oestrogen.
If I had been in the war, or the death camps, I would have been one of the first to die.
My will to live is hanging by a thread. Viktor Frankl a holocaust survivor said that those who lost the will to live in the death camps, were the first to die, that would have been me. I was brought up to be weak, docile and dependent, even though I am intelligent, I have no cahoneys or commmon sense.
I was brought up to be dependant on my parents, as they were mentally unhealthy and insecure, I have been trying all my life to act my age, but feel stunted emotionally and broken mentally due to the way I was brought up.
I don't need hormone bollocks on top of this.
I'm fragile, broken, stunted.
I am just not a survivor, I admire survivors, but I just don't have it in me to get through tough times., full stop, I wish I did.
Don't worry about the hijack thread, discussions sometimes do branch off, it's ok.
