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[dolliman]

Hi folks, I've been a member of this site for a wee while now but it's only recently that I've realised I'm at 'that stage'. Aaarrrrggghhhhhh! My last period was October 2014 and we're now in January 2015. I've become a real bitch and I'm just downright nasty to my wonderful husband sometimes and when I would normally bite my tongue, I cant anymore. I don't like being like this and I've told my hubby I don't like me very much just now and that I'll do something about it. Goodness only knows what right enough! I'm not sleeping very well either and this is a relatively new thing. I'm wakening up around 3 am then tossing and turning and reading unti it's a respectable time to get up. My son has mental health problems and although he doesn't live with us, the stress I suffer is awful right now. I keep getting told to 'take a back seat' but when I do the guilt I feel just eats away at me. Sorry, this is turning into a bit of a moan! I'd really appreciate some advice. Many thanks.

[Mrs January]

Hey Dolliman

Breathe honey and re evaluate. Times are harder for you just now and maybe take a hour, or day at a time.

This journey of meno is so hard. I have been there for about two years now and it is about being kind and looking after our selves more, your hubbie can help you, your son  maybe has professionals around him but you need to take some time for you ...even if it is a nice bubble bath to what ever you like.....so make a plan and take baby steps for now until life is a bit easier for you .

Love and hugs
Mrs January xx

[Ju Ju]

Hi dolliman,

When my children were babies, I was told by a wise health visitor that feeing guilty was par for the course if you are a caring parent. My son, now 30, had a wise head on young shoulders at age 7. "Mummy," he said, " I want you to be my Mummy, not my teacher". He was and is dyslexic and I was a teacher, but I had to stand back and just be Mummy. It's hard. You want to make things right for your children, but there are times when you have to stand back and be Mum. You may have to fight to get the appropriate support for your child, but your main job is to love your child unconditionally, to respect them and take a step back. Look after yourself. Don't be tempted to put your own needs on the back burner. It's not being selfish; it's essential, in order to be there for your family. As for your menopausal issues, there is a lot info on the site and you can post about any specific issues. Plenty of support here and some members are very knowledgable. Sending you my good wishes, Ju Ju xx

[SallyG]

My heart goes out to you. I have been going through extreme menopause symptoms for about 10 months now - undiagnosed for a lot of that time. Its been a nightmare but there is help. You must look after yourself. (You are central to the family anyway.A wise health visitor told me that - I am the backbone of the family so I must look after myself first. Good advice which has stuck. Look for expert help. Ive just been to see Dr Annie Evans - amazing consultant on the menopause. She has a website. Probably the leading expert certainly in the UK. You are worth it

Hugs

Sally G

[dolliman]

Thanks ladies, I'm really struggling with mood swings and I'm quite literally, all over the place just now. One minute I'm 'normal' then I'm a complete bitch! I have no patience with anything and i'm biting the nose off my hubby at every opportunity. My son has got plenty support but when he has a problem, I'm his first port of call. I feel like I want to stand in the middle of a field and just scream! Lol. Anyway, many thanks for reading this and taking the time to reply much appreciated. Diane. Xx

[Mrs January]

Hi there

Glad you sought help from this site and the lovely ladies who use it too.

Scream? in a field? then go do it honey to release the pressure. I felt like that recently and thankfully had a night tubing at the ski slope ...sceamed so loud it was fab and fun xx

[Hurdity]

Hi there dolliman

Are you getting any other symptoms eg night sweats or hot flushes? I remember when I first started to feel like this, not sleeping was the start of it and generally feeling hot when I woke - and these eventually turned into night sweats. After some while of periods coming and going the flushes became so severe and because of work pressures I started HRT ( at age 53/4) and have not looked back (now age 61).

Have you thought of HRT or maybe there is a medical reason why you cannot take it? You haven't said how old you are either? HRT certainly helps mood-wise and I would say helps women to deal with stresses in their life (such as you are having to deal with) which could otherwise be overwhelming.

There is no question that I sleep much better now, than I would if I did not take HRT.

Hurdity x

[dolliman]

Hi Hurdity, Only mood swings, insomnia and lack of periods (yahoo!) so far. Have thought about HRT but was sitting on the fence. Think I'll make an apt with Dr and discuss it. My concerns are breast cancer, weight gain and periods coming back. Having said that I know not everyone is affected by side effects and the positives of HRT seem to outweigh the negatives. I'll keep you updated and yes Mrs January, I ageee, think I will go scream. Once again thank you ladies, help much appreciated.

Xx

[dolliman]

Hi Hurdity, Only mood swings, insomnia and lack of periods (yahoo!) so far. Have thought about HRT but was sitting on the fence. Think I'll make an apt with Dr and discuss it. My concerns are breast cancer, weight gain and periods coming back. Having said that I know not everyone is affected by side effects and the positives of HRT seem to outweigh the negatives. I'll keep you updated and yes Mrs January, I ageee, think I will go scream. Once again thank you ladies, help much appreciated. Oh and I'm 50. 

Xx