Thank you for replying Grumpy. It's always reassuring to know you're not the only one feeling like they're losing the plot.
I have taken ADs in the past and I really don't think they're the right treatment for me. If I'm low on oestrogen and not tolerating monthly hormone changes anymore then it just makes much more sense (to me) to give me the hormones I need. ADs just mask the issue, and the ones I have taken in the past have just made me feel pretty flat and samey all month. No horrible dips but no nice, happy feelings either.
Right now I feel absolutely fine and good, and have felt like this for 8 days now - since my period started. I think I am having a 'good' month, where my PMS left when my period started and my oestrogen levels are rising nicely hence I feel good and I have some libido again
![Smiley :)](https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/Smileys/extended/smiley.gif)
So, hopefully my luteal phase won't be too bad. Perhaps just a bit of low mood, and a little bit of anxiety?
Last month was a 'bad' month. My PMS didn't lift when my period started. I don't think my oestrogen levels rose enough to cause me to ovulate. I had zero libido. When I 'should' have been ovulating I experienced nasty anxiety/depression for 2-3 days. Then my PMS symptoms just got increasingly worse culminating in 4-5 days of horrible, horrible emotional numbness - where I genuinely don't think I would have cared if the police had called to tell me my family had all been killed in a RTA. I felt that numb
![Sad :(](https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/Smileys/extended/sad.gif)
And when you feel like that, there doesn't seem much point to living.
Sorry for going into such detail, but I was wondering if you could identify with my experiences?
I take great comfort in you saying that your symptoms disappeared when your periods stopped. My periods are much lighter and my Mum, Aunt and both female cousins had all stopped their periods by their early 40s. I am 45 this year so I am PRAYING mine will finish very soon.