Hi everyone
Just introducing myself......I am turning 50 this year and haven't had a full period for two years.....had lots of symptoms which I now realise could have been peri menopause and now menopause - I have no idea what symptoms I am meant to get when
I also suffer from ms - diagnosed 1999, and anxiety/depression for which I take nothing for as every anti depressant I have been given has made it worse so I'm trying to battle on.
I'm now coming to realise that some of the awful symptoms that I have just thought I had to put up with as they were either my ms or my anxiety actually might be to do with the menopause and there just might be some help out there for me
I'm awfully sensitive to medication for some reason so have already tried Menopace on the recommendation of a friend. They made me feel quite sick so I stopped.
I am now also seeing that menopause can make ms symptoms worse! You have no idea how good that was to read as I have been sitting here thinking I am going rapidly downhill ms wise and after 14 years of it not treating me too badly I was going to get it hit me full throttle.
Of course sitting thinking like that aggravates my anxiety, which again good old ms doesn't take kindly to....vicious circle in other words.
It does line up with me though as during the time since my ms diagnosis I was on the pill and relatively untroubled.....since my periods stopped I stopped taking the pill and have been reporting to my ms nurse that I feel I am going down a slope with my ms and that it is subtly worsening.....I'm thinking this is not a coincidence now.
I went to my doctor last Friday and she seemed willing to let me try HRT - she also directed me to this website.
I am very nervous of the HRT, because of my sensitivity to medication more than because of the reported risks to be honest....but if I did find one that suited me it looks like I would notice a difference....with everything.
That would turn my life around from the way I feel at the moment as I am becoming reluctant to go out or do anything other than sit around reading books.....this wouldn't be a good step for me as I have suffered from agoraphobia in my mid 20s and know I don't need to go back there again
Since Friday I have had hot flushes every day....every couple of hours. Hot sweats at night the same and very disturbed sleep. I also alternate the hot flushes with cold shivers....can't get warm, cold water being poured down my back and goosebumps.....still not knowing or being told for sure if this is ms, anxiety, menopause
I have also yesterday been having what I have tried to explain to people as "shut downs"....like everything around me stops for a few seconds.....I feel I have to sit down and take deep breaths....then I get hot, light headed, a little nauseous and and usually end up having to nip to the loo haha. I have been reporting these to the doctor and to my ms nurse but no actual sense has been made of them.......maybe my ms....maybe panic/anxiety.....and now maybe menopause.
Awful things whichever way.....my poor patient partner has finally told me that yes I am irritable beyond belief....hes walking on eggshells as I'm up and down 24/7....happy and positive and then one simple thing can happen (forgotten to buy a tin of chopped tomatoes was the example he used haha) and I'm off like a madwoman. That I've no concentration span and can't seem to even sit and unwind watching a film on tv without getting up and down or messing around on my ipad.....followed by "I don't get this film.....what's happening? It's rubbish". Haha - you have to laugh as I can't even say he is wrong....I should know as I'm the one living with these messed up moods
I have to go on the ipad....I am "researching" as to why at 49 would my hair be totally silver and what can I do about it being thin, lifeless and frizzy......oh and what about my nails snapping off while I'm on there haha
Anyhow....after this very hot flush/night sweats/"shut downs" weekend my ms has decided it doesn't appreciate this disturbance and throwing every symptom it can at me.....once again I think proving that the menopause is contributing.
Makes sense really as my last small flare up was put down to being because of a virus and fever I had at the time.......temperature increase just like a hot flush in other words.
Quite strange though as weather wise, the freezing cold seems to affect me worse than the summer heat....even on holiday to family in Australia I felt better than I do in the Winter here in the UK.
So, this evening at 4.30 I am off back to discuss all this with my doctor again....Do I go down the HRT route......I don't know.....scared and confused and yet it might be a step in the right direction, so I do hope we can make some headway as being prone to anxiety/occasional panic attacks, having these unpredictable feelings really makes it difficult to keep in top of it.....scared if you "overdo" things it will affect the ms.....scared of going out in case I have a "shut down"....just anxious and scared full stop.
I don't want my ms to represent who I am.....yes I have it, but first and foremost I am Elle.
I don't want any if these other issues which all seem to be combining in some way represent who I am either - reading back through what I have written I do sound rather like what my dear Mum would have termed a "moaning Minnie".
I'm so sorry ladies if that's the case but it has done me a world of good to just put this all down......I really am a friendly, chatty, fun loving woman behind all this....honest haha
Thanks so much for reading my "novel" - have a lovely day
Elle xxx
