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[honeybun]

I have had an argument by text with my older sister and I just need to get it off my chest.
We are normally very careful not to fall out. To be honest she is a bit wary of arguing with me now because I have been practising standing up for myself. She is 13 years older and always bossed me around and for the sake of peace I let her.
She is on her holidays at the moment. We each have our days that we see to mother. I have been asking for a swap next week as hubby has a hospital appointment. It's complicated but she was being less than helpful. Eventually I got it sorted but I could tell it was not suiting her. I also told her I was not going on my usual Sunday as that would mean for two weeks I will have been at mum's every other day and I am starting to struggle.

She then sent me a very nasty text about missing a day. This is her third holiday this year and I cover for her while she is away. I can't believe that she was so narky over one day.
I think she owes me an apology but I will never get it.

Sorry for the moan but I am upset and angry in equal measure.

Honeyb
X

[Joyce]

You vent away HB. What is it with families eh? Such a shame when our siblings do things like that. It leaves a bad taste doesn't it?

[Pennyfarthing]

Honeybun - she has got to you and you mustn't allow her to.

It isn't easy I know but you have to try.  I go to yoga and am also getting into Mindfulness (I recommended a book on here a few months ago) and I have already learnt such a lot about dealing with situations like this.

You need to become a tortoise  and learn to withdraw.  You know what you said to her is right and you know you've been perfectly fair.   You've said your piece to her so withdraw now.  She's the one with the problem!   Don't allow her to make you feel bad because you've done nothing to deserve this, you really haven't.  You don't need this, so put your head back in your shell!

[countrybumpkin]

Remember the old adage " you choose your friends not your relations".

Try not to let it wind you up as  you are the one who is suffering not her even though she is in the wrong.

Maybe don't be so obliging when she next says she is going on holiday

[CLKD]

I never see my sister because we fight: physically: she can wind me up on the phone or even in a letter 

You do as you see fit!  It's hard work for both of you dealing with your Mum ........ perhaps your sister was stressed at coming back after her holiday?

[honeybun]

Stressed or not, there is no need to be so unpleasant. We have not yet spoken, bit of a stand off. Sad thing is I am enjoying the peace. I won't call her and I suspect she won't call me so who knows what will happen.


Honeyb
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[CLKD]

Absolutely no need.  How long will the stand off last I wonder    ............ is it something you actually welcome?

[honeybun]

No I don't welcome it at all as I really don't like conflict. I have had more on my mind at the moment to be honest and can't be bothered with fuss over nothing.

Honeyb
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[Limpy]

 "This is her third holiday this year and I cover for her while she is away. I can't believe that she was so narky over one day"

Honeyb it might be worth texting her with the above, it says it all.
Also, point out you need a bit of a break

[honeybun]

I did and that's what has caused the problem. You are not allowed to disagree with my sister. She is the one who is always right. 

I am having a week off next week. Well four days to be exact. She did not bother to ask me my plans so does not know what I intend to do or when I will be there. It's hopeless trying to tell mum because she does not retain anything now.
I will write it in mum's little note book and it will be a nice surprise for her.

Really can't be bothered with her self centeredness anymore.

Honeyb
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[CLKD]

Well Done YOU!

The more you say 'no' the easier it will become 

[Limpy]

Like CLKD says - Well done

Not sure about this but, is your sister a tiny bit like your mum?
I may be wrong................

[Joyce]

Well done. Stick to your guns. She'll soon twig.

[honeybun]

My sister is Hyacinth Bucket even down to the church bit. Mother is spoiled but sis is bossy given half a chance. They are not much alike really except in that they both like their own way.

Is it any wonder I want to run away half the time 


Honeyb
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[CLKD]

We have a spare bed - it's under a lot of clutter/birthday gifts/wrapping paper - or there's the camper