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[minerva]

Hi, has anyone got any advice on where I can go to talk about my marriage. I love my husband, been married 35 years, don't want any other man, but I almost feel as if I could go mad. He's what used to be called the strong silent type when it comes to talking things over, and I feel I am crumbling due to a lack of emotional support. My self confidence has almost vanished. I live hundreds of miles from family, our lifestyle makes it hard to find and maintain friendships, maybe online support and advice is the answer.

[honeybun]

Have you thought of trying Relate.

My hubby is not much one for deep and meaningful conversation either. He never has been and I just accept him for what he is. I am not going to change him now.
The forum is a life saver for support and advice and somewhere to come and vent and chat and laugh.

You will get support here and then you realise you are not alone with your problems.

Honeyb
X

[minerva]

Thanks so much honeybun, yes I think I will try relate. I felt so much better after posting, but another cold lunchtime makes me feel I don't know how to go on. It's not just silence, it's a feeling of annoyance or falling out. I think I had more strength when the kids were at home, or when I am with siblings etc., but we need to talk about practicalities, like making ends meet, how we can survive financially, and I feel I am shouldering things on my own. I feel if we could communicate, maybe we could make life fun again, not just survivable, but I'm getting scared of broaching subjects, now, I just can't stand the distant coldness.

[CLKD]

Is he depressed?

[Rowan]

Minerva, I entirely understand what you are feeling as I have similar problems.

Some men will not communicate no matter what method you try, I was a trained counsellor and believe me have tried all the techniques.

A man will only communicate if he wants to , if it suits him or if something drastic happens to shake him out of it, if he is that kind of man.

Relate might be a good idea if you can get him to go, otherwise it might help you to go alone and perhaps learn how to cope with the situation yourself.

[CLKD]

When the children were at home you had other things to focus on.  Maybe he has become used to being a 'single': to not being consulted, asked to be involved ........  He may need to coaxed back into communicating.  Did you 'need' him during those years?