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[Bette]

Thanks everyone, I know you're right. I'm actually better than I used to be with this, it's just that at this time of year I think about my brother etc. and I know that Mum's thinking about him too.
I just needed to talk about it and it's nice to do that here rather than always off-loading onto OH. He is great about it - asked me if I was ok earlier and gave me a big hug. Just nice to be able to enjoy that hug. I think that I just need to "say" these things sometimes and saying it aloud to him always makes me cry but somehow "saying" it to you guys gives the same relief without so many tears (a few, I'll admit!) and it's nice not to be crying all over him yet again!
Bette x

[CLKD]

Maybe you and your Mum need to share those memories Bette?  Not keeping them hidden any longer?

Onwards and upwards - rest of the decorations to go up today 

[Bette]

We have shared them, CKLD. Nothing is hidden - it's just a sad time of year for us made harder by the "countdown" around us. Any bereavement anniversary is hard but it really doesn't help when it's the one day that everyone thinks you should be happy and the day that everyone talks about for ages beforehand.
It was also the time we were most often together, as my brother lived abroad and he, his wife and later his son always spent Xmas with my parents and I. Bad timing all round really.
Bette x

[CLKD]

It often is.  My Grandad died on his eldest son's birthday in 1965; F in L died the day before my S in L's birthday; my dog died the day before our anniversary; like we *need* something to remind us  like we don't cast a thought in that direction anyway  .  My Dad decided to depart the Planet 14 days before my birthday so his Service was 2 days before ......... it goes on .........

Light a candle?

[CLKD]

What a lovely idea.  There's a similar theme on the 'rainbow bridge' web-site.  Light the candle, pause and think. 

[san]

Now this is what I call humbug fodder.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2011/12/11/david-and-victoria-beckham-spend-35-000-on-six-christmas-trees-115875-23626123/

[Oldteen]

They have so much money they don't know what to do with it, and have lost touch with reality. I don't envy super-rich people one bit. How can you get any pleasure from buying things when you know that you can have everything you want, whenever you want it? They have none of the satisfaction that we would get from saving  for something we want.

[cutey1]

I am back from a very tiring and busy 3 days in Munich - we had snow whilst we were there on the saturday!  it made me feel really christmassy, loved it - until I fell over in a restaurant (water on the floor) banged my wrist and knee badly - felt really embarrassed - but I am fine now, just some lovely bruises to show for it!

Seeing the christmas lights and markets all lit up and playing christmas carols was magical!  But I was glad to get home yesterday - absolutely shattered - I don't think I have ever walked so much in my life!!!!

I have been reading past posts and my heart goes out to all of you who have lost people very close to them near christmas - I lost my brother near christmas and it is always sad to think of him as he should be here with us all - he was only 19!  But we all have a little chat about him and smile and remember his gorgeous smile and fantastic friendly personality - I still miss him alot, he died 24 yrs ago!

Cheeky xxxxxxxx

[Joyce]

I thought seeing a house the other night with 3 big trees outside was bad enough, but 6 trees.  More money than sense obviously!

[Scampi]

Having a bad day today - Mum and Dad can no longer cope with their dog (who means the world to Dad), so she's going to Dogs Trust this afternoon.  I really don't know what it's going to do to Dad as I'm sure deeing Diamond again was the only thing that gave Dad the fight to get well enough to come home when he recently had to spend 2 weeks in a hospice - I have a horrible feeling he will give up now.  And I don't know how I'm going to face my MIL - she's lovely, and rings me 2 or 3 times a week while hubby is working away to make sure I'm OK, but last night she rung to ask me (again!) what I want for Christmas - to be honest I've not even thought about it - not money in the world can buy me my Mum and Dad back.  When she lightheartedly admonished me for not having any ideas, I burst into tears and had to give the phone back to hubby without speaking to her - what is wrong with me? 

[silverlady]

Scampi, Christmas can be a hard time, a few weeks before Christmas my mum had a severe stroke, Christmas Eve my dad took his life and a few weeks later my mum died, so for a while Christmas was tough for us, but you do get through.

Your lovely MIL will understand why you broke down and all you have to do is tell her how you are feeling.

Emotions run high at this time of year for all kinds of reasons, just give your mum and dad all the love you can and except that you will feel tearful and it is normal.

Christmas is only a few days.


silverlady 

[Joyce]

When she lightheartedly admonished me for not having any ideas, I burst into tears and had to give the phone back to hubby without speaking to her - what is wrong with me? 

Nothing at all Scampi.  Your emotions are shot at the moment thinking about your own mum & dad.  Doubt I could cope with thinking about a Christmas present when feeling like that.  Can't you get hubby to explain to your MIL that you'll let her know when you think of something, but you have a lot on your mind at the moment.  I'm sure she'd understand. 

[Oldteen]

There's nothing "wrong" with you at all Scampi. I sometimes think that Christmas engenders more pain than happiness. Stay strong, it will soon be over, and maybe, just maybe, one day the tide will turn and all this commercialised "ideal" Christmas  nonsense that puts so much pressure on us will fade away.

Silverlady, my heart goes out to you. Your dad must have been very unhappy indeed, and to lose your mum too at that time must have been so tough.

[silverlady]

BAB, I don't think my dad thought my mum would survive. it was pretty awful, but you do get through it.

Silverlady xx

[CLKD]

I like it a little more now that Himself adn I stay at home.  I counted that we got in and out of our car 15 times on C.mas Day between the various houses  whilst they all stayed by their fires in front of the TV 

Dogs Trust will care for the dog, if he/she is too old to be re-homed there will be lots of fuss.  Tell us more in another thread?  I know how hard it is, I had to give up 2 cats  and will live with the regret for the rest of my Life. 

This time of year brings up all kinds of memories