Hi I am sorry you are suffering.
One way to think about it that might put your mind at rest is that if HRT for you involves estradiol and micronised progesterone, these are substances that your own body produced for decades.
They were flowing throughout every blood vessel, tissue and organ throughout your teens, 20's 30's and if you think back to the time in your life when you looked, felt and functioned your best, chances are they were at their highest level.
And you were not in a state of panic or dread about it, you were probably laughing dancing and generally loving life.
Like others have said, you can start with just a quarter of a patch if this makes you feel more comfortable (however this would not be expected to relieve your symptoms) and you are not committing to taking it forever, if it is not for you just stop.
I think you are far more likely to regret not trying it, than to regret trying it.