That's really useful, Hurdity. I was confused by what I read and trust your explanation.
Libido's not absent, it's just greatly reduced. On school hols at the moment (teacher), so have time to relax and libido is back. However, I can't really just spend my whole life in relax mode. Not taking any other meds - apart from a rescue Diazepam once every couple of months.
Re: HRT and contraindications, my issue is that I didn't have high BP, started HRT, developed high BP after 6 months, stopped HRT, high BP went away. I saw a meno nurse, the GP and a consultant pharmacologist and all said it wasn't worth the risk. I could never take the pill either as that would send my BP sky rocketing even in my 20s. No idea.
I'm 54, almost 55. The three symptoms that concern me are: lack of libido when leading an ordinary life, 'shrinkage' of my lady bits and weight. I sleep well. Do not appear to be overly stressed - peri was awful for me, thought I was losing my mind, since meno (and therapy) I can handle stuff loads better. Get my 10,000 steps in a day. Don't think I eat a huge amount of rubbish.
Thanks for your time.