Hi there!
Sorry to hear you're having a tough time.
I can only go from my experience so i dont know if this is at all helpful... (coincidentally, I am also a 50 year old teacher!) I started taking hrt a couple of years ago, no 'typical' symptoms, but did get this horrible itchy skin, my face became suddenly sensitive and rashy and suddenly allergic to things I'd been happy with for years. I did also get some cracking in my labia.
Anyway, very quickly after starting hrt (oestrogel* and utrogestan) my skin became normal again - no more dry irritated face... I have never had a crack 'downstairs' since taking it. Can't promise it will work for you, but it really helped me.
I can't say it's been an easy journey - I hate taking Utrogestan and Oestrogel doesn't seem to be the same product it once was, so I would recommend Sandrena or a patch for oestrogen. There have been a lot of ups and downs, but even at my worst, it was better than before I took HRT. So if you are able to try it, I definitely think it's worth a go.
Good luck x