Hi you shouldn't have to pay for information. You can ask for a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic if your GP is resistant. We know our bodies best!
Could you cut the patch and use on alternate nights? It may be a bit much otherwise and if you have had a good result, then a bit of trial and error might be the way to go? It is important to get HRT levels as even as possible B4 introducing testosterone, otherwise you won't know what might be/not working.
As for bladder pain, has it been suggested that you begin vaginal atrophy treatment? This condition is due to low levels of oestrogen so appropriate replacement by pessary or cream can help a lot. 'vagifem' and/or 'ovestin' - do read the vaginal atrophy threads. Make notes ;-).
The body naturally loses density as we age. How is your exercise regime as brisk walking can help keep bones healthy and cleaning teeth carefully helps keep jaw bones fit.
Also hormonal blood tests are reliably un-reliable
so a medic should treat on symptoms.