Hello,
First know that you are not alone with this. Many women find the huge hormonal upheavals either trigger or worsen pre existing moods.
I suffered my entire life with bad PMS every single month. When perimenopause but me like a bus, it went to the worse moods ever, suicidal thoughts kept coming in and I was in tears almost constantly. Put bluntly I just wanted it all to stop. When I managed to keep a note of dates and moods I realised for me it was cyclical, so when my period was due all help broke loose. My GP said perimenopause can worsen cyclical moods.
But please speak to you dr, preferably one who has an interest in menopause.
You are in no way a fraud or a failure. I tend to think of it not so much 'me ' who feels like this but my hormones doing it to me.
I eventually after some trial and error got on a good regime of both hrt,and an anti depressant. Also had counselling. There are ways to get help.
Please do ask for help.
And I say again, you are not alone in feeling like this. It's truly horrible and scary. I never thought I would be able to get out of the Hell I was in a few months back. But now I am okayish, but I keep to the medication as a kind of ongoing maintenance.
Take care and post on here for any reason whatsoever, whenever. X
