Jenny23, you are definitely not alone, many, many members know how difficult & frightening a time menopause can be & everyone here does their best to help each other. So please never hesitate to post, nothing is taboo, nothing too trivial & for anything you want members only to see, we have the Private Lives section.
The change has been shockingly sudden.
As with you, the start of perimenopause brought really quite extreme symptoms for me & I struggled to believe that's "all" it was. Menopause had a much lower profile back then, so the various symptoms were not so widely publicised. I had no access to MM, none of my friends had got there yet & I had no remaining close female relatives to compare notes with, so it was all a huge shock to the system & very isolating. I bought every menopause book I could get my hands on & amassed a shelf full over the first couple of years! If you learn as much as you can it can be reassuring that what's happening is par for the course.
I found the palpitations very frightening like you & also felt very unwell with flushes & night sweats, which lasted far longer than the few minutes menopause authorities state is typical. The palpitations often came at the same time as flushes & at their worst at night the combination used to make me shake uncontrollably (again like you & Booroo), to the extent I found it physically exhausting. I became afraid of palpitations & flushes striking when away from home & felt very claustrophobic when they happened in restaurants, at concerts or the theatre. I distinctly remember flushing badly, heart racing & like you - fearing I'd pass out - in the middle of a big city centre M&S cafe which was packed with people eating lunch & also in the dark of concert halls when all I wanted was to get out in the cool night air, but felt trapped because with the lights down I'd have to disturb so many people to get along the row & down the stairs! In the first months when these horrible sensations are all so new, we fear we won't survive them, but we all do & if you have a good look around the forum you'll see you are far from alone with the anxiety it all gives rise to.
I feel like crying all the time for no specific reasons
That can be bewildering but it's sadly very common at this time of life. As Peri22 says do use the forum as much as you need to, you will find a lot of support, understanding, knowledge & experience here.
I'm glad to know you have an amazing family & that your husband has been so supportive. Please try not to feel guilty though, none of what you're going through is your fault. Be as open as you feel you can about how this is affecting you & don't be afraid to take what help & support they offer. The more rested & relaxed you feel, the easier it will be for your body to adapt to the changes.
You asked how HRT has been for me & about side effects. I'm better with it than without & a lot better than I was throughout perimenopause when I was not on HRT, but it's not been a panacea, nor can we realistically expect it to be. It has helped with the majority of my symptoms, though I'm frustrated to still struggle with overheating at night, the related insomnia & occasional flares of GSM. Please don't be put off by that, I have other chronic conditions in the mix that mean I was never going to be the poster girl for HRT! I have had side effects, yes, but some of those have been dose-related, so improve or resolve at the right dose & some have been because of progesterone intolerance, which affects a few of us but not most by any means. Part of the problem with needing cyclical progesterone for me has been thyroid interaction & if you don't have a thyroid condition that won't apply to you. I'm assuming, given the palpitations, that your thyroid was checked with your recent blood tests?
My daytime flushing now only tends to strike in stressful situations & I only have occasional palpitations, except as I said earlier, when adjusting to changes of medication. A lot improves postmenopause when we are no longer affected by the chaotic fluctuations of peri & we are then just dealing with a steadier state of relative hormone deficiency that makes it easier to replace whatever we need to as individuals.
The medications scare me especially because the side effects can make things worse.
Yes, that's only natural & many of us feel that way, but you are in control. If something doesn't suit you, you can stop & if you want to, try something else & if not, at least you'll know you have given yourself that opportunity. I agree with Peri22 that if you decide you would like to try HRT, starting at a low dose & increasing gradually if need be is a good idea.
There is a menopause clinic that I will reach out to discuss all of this and treatment.
I think that's a very good idea. Reassurance & guidance from a sympathetic expert can be invaluable. Meanwhile I'd carry on with acupuncture if you are comfortable with that, have a good look around the forum & learn what you can so that you can ask the right questions if/when you see a doctor.
Wx
